Let's play Oregon Trail!

[Fish and Chips]

We've got to get the band back together again. They can't stop us.

We're on a mission from God.



ALRIGHT let's get this done people.



This is our interface. He's our friend. Our only friend, in this cold, cruel world of Oregon Trail.

Okay, so first let's just check our supplies



Because when you're with Fish, you only need 100 bullets.



Just so you guys know when it says meager portions all the time I'm not actually starving my party. They're small, but adequate.



Well, you know, technically, since wagon parts are made of wood and wood comes from trees, so really who can say.

But yes, I also hope I find the derelict remains of previously unsuccessful travelers, Miles. Really helps me get to sleep at night.



Road trips man, you know it.



And now the historic first leg of our journey!



I like to keep things brief here in Oregon Trail.



Somewhere, beyond the seaaaa~
Somewhere, waiting for meeee~
My lover staaaands on
Golden saaaaands
And watches the okay it's just a river moving on.

[Peanut]

Is it...time for a swim?

[Cognitive Gear]

Oh no. Is now a bad time to mention that I am only a moderate swimmer?

[Davidizer13]

Ford it! Ford it! Ford it!

Also, this.

[Fish and Chips]

Exclamation points!



Oh that doesn't sound very safe at all.



The ferry sounds like a fantastic idea.



Wait, hold on now broseph, three days? I don't know if you've looked at the name of this game but I'm heading to Oregon. Keeping the trains on time son.

I'll caulk it. Wood floats on water you know. And grows on trees. It's crazy like that.



Smooth sailing-



[SIZE="7"]WHAT.[/SIZE]

I for one am looking forward to a new life of opportunity on the other side of the continent.

FFFFFFFFF- well that's terrible.



Oh man this is going to be like the longest 83 miles ever. Even longer than how long 83 miles usually is.



Dun dun dun oh God it's here already.



They make it look so easy in the scenic photo op.



Awesome oxen however are pretty sweet.

[Ante Bellum]

YAY! Someone died!

[Cognitive Gear]

Journal entry: March 7, 1848

We suffered heavy losses today. Against the wise advise of Aunt Rebecca Sims, we chose to float the wagon across the Kansas River, and we paid dearly for our foolishness. As we sailed peacefully across the river, a barrel of ammunition, sold to us by Matt, suddenly cracked open. The sudden movement of the bullets shifted the weight and tipped over our wagon.

We lost clothing, a handful of bullets, and most of our spare parts. These worldly treasures are nothing relative to our heaviest loss. blkmage chose to wear some of the robes sold to us as "water conserving", which became unfortunately heavy as we were dumped into the river.

blkmage did not make it to the other side. We held a short vigil in honor of our brave companion.

RIP blkmage. May God rest his soul.

[Ante Bellum]

You mean you dumped his body in the ditch and drove away in mostly silence. Except for, you know, the lecture on why you should never float the wagon over a river.

[Davidizer13]

Except for, you know, the lecture on why you should never float the wagon over a river.

You're right. You shouldn't float the wagon, you should just ford the river, oxen and all. It saves the time you would've taken to caulk it.

[Tsukuyomi]

RIP blkmage. May God rest his soul.

I barely knew him *sniffles* :cry:

[KeybladeWarrior]

Gives Tsuki a tissue*. I remember this game in grade school just it was a newer edition with like 16 bit graphics and still just as easy to die. I think SolidRonin might die next or Gear.

[blkmage]

Pretty sure that's the worst journey to the west I've ever been a part of.

[goldenspines]

With all the rest of the stuff that was lost, it's shocking you only lost 10 bullets.

[align=left] Poor Blkmage, though. God rest his soul. *takes off hat*
On the bright side, at least he won't have to deal with the rest of the trip. ^__^;

Off to a great start already; can't wait to see how things turn out.

[/align]

[Whitefang]

Journal entry: March 7, 1848

blkmage did not make it to the other side. We held a short vigil in honor of our brave companion.

RIP blkmage. May God rest his soul.

He didn't actually die, he just floated downstream. Did you recover his body?

Curse that Matt and his shoddy packaging techniques. Oh, and do take the ferry next time.

[Davidizer13]

Curse that Matt and his shoddy packaging techniques. Oh, and do take the ferry next time.

No. Ford it, like a real man would.

With all the rest of the stuff that was lost, it's shocking you only lost 10 bullets.

That's pretty much nothing, bullets-wise. Your average player in grade school uses more bullets than that in a single hunting session.

Speaking of which, Fish, when are you going to begin your inevitable campaign of genocide against the American bison?

[Ante Bellum]

I've used that much shooting a gun for a few seconds (It was a ten-bullet clip in a .22 semiautomatic handgun, but whatever.).
Just ford the thing! It can't be that hard!

[Radical Dreamer]

So does this mean we send Matt to prison for second-hand slaughter?




I think it means we send Matt to prison for second-hand slaughter.

[RidleyofZebes]

Pretty sure that's the worst journey to the west I've ever been a part of.

you can't talk you're dead. O.O

[Fish and Chips]

Alright, let's survey the damages people.

Hmm, well aside from the GRIEVOUS loss of life and a few spare parts, we're not doing too much worse for the wear from our little mishaps. I should probably trade for more clothes in the interest of public decency though.



You know, if one of our oxen died on us we could probably eat it and have 50 pounds of food. Screw that noise.



They make it sound all so innocent. But we know the true terrors of outdoor pools, don't we?



No ferry. Of course.

Sit tight and wait for conditions to improve. I like the sound of that.

Especially that conditions improving part.



Getting there, getting there.

Let's wait just one more day. If it's just a little shallower, we should be able to walk along side the wagon and steady it.



And watched the Ten Commandments.

Gotta mentally prepare ourselves for the harrowing task of crossing a three feet deep mud trickle.



Alright alright, fording time. Let's get everybody and the stuff together.



[SIZE="7"]WHY ARE YOU ALL SO USELESS.[/SIZE]

IT'S LIKE I'M WATCHING CHILDREN.

Sweet Christmas.

Also, Davidizer is now banned from this thread.

[Peanut]

So does this mean we send Matt to prison for second-hand slaughter?




I think it means we send Matt to prison for second-hand slaughter.

But this is the wild west, so if we want to charge Matt for anything, Fish is going to have to turn that wagon around and take justice into his own hands. But by now, Matt has likely skipped town and moved to some other location. Like, the caves of Spelunky...

Edit: And blaming it on your passengers is just a cop out for your lousy leadership skills Fish. The blood of SolidRonin and blkmage are on your hands alone...and maybe Matt.

[Ante Bellum]

AHAHAHAHAHA!
Look! Two down!

[blkmage]

At least I drowned in a river with a depth that was taller than me.

[Mr. Hat'n'Clogs]

And then there were three!

[Whitefang]

A suggestion...put less crap in your wagon! Or get a Conestoga...oh, shoot, wrong game.

Hm, since I missed a chance to predict SolidRonin's death, I'll predict that RD will suffer from dysentery next.

Oh, and I also find it hilarious that you are all now naked.

[Fish and Chips]

Edit: And blaming it on your passengers is just a cop out for your lousy leadership skills Fish. The blood of SolidRonin and blkmage are on your hands alone...and maybe Matt.

When you fail to ford a river in this game, it shows your entire caravan slowly sinking. Not falling over or splintering into pieces, just sinking straight down along with the oxen forging mindlessly ahead.

Now at best I've got a 10 foot tall wagon, if not taller. Probably taller.

How does a 10+ foot tall wagon sink straight down into three feet of water?

I fail to see how any of this is my fault.

[Peanut]

Because, you're the leader. Whatever misfortune befalls your caravan is inevitably on your shoulders...even if that misfortune is Cholera.

[goldenspines]

Solid Ronin drowned in three feet of water. And there wasn't even a Kraken.
That is terrible.


~You've been river tracer'd~

[Fish and Chips]

I should have named everybody in my caravan Peanut.

Peanut has gotten Cholera.
Peanut has died.
Peanut has gotten Cholera after dying.
Peanut died again.
Peanut is now an alcoholic.

[Radical Dreamer]

Hm, since I missed a chance to predict SolidRonin's death, I'll predict that RD will suffer from dysentery next.

Pfft, watch as I outlive all of you. XDDD At least I know how to swim! XDD

Also, outside sources tell me that you can't ford a river until the middle of the river is like 2.5 feet deep. XDD Apparently oxen suck at swimming. XD

EDIT:

Also, blood is definitely all over the hands of Matt. If he hadn't sold us this stuff we wouldn't even be on this journey to begin with! What a jerk.

[Whitefang]

Also, outside sources tell me that you can't ford a river until the middle of the river is like 2.5 feet deep. XDD Apparently oxen suck at swimming. XD

I've been on a horse fording an approximately 2 feet deep river, and I can verify that this is a very frightening experience. I can only imagine an ox is 10 times worse. (Alright, well, probably not since they should have a lower center of gravity and should be slightly more sure-footed. As well as too stupid to realize how dangerous fording a river actually is.)