Opinions, if you will...

[Destroyer2000]

A full moon shone brightly in the middle of the perfectly clear night sky…

The man stood on the cliff’s edge, looking down over the ocean, the moonlight reflecting off its surface. There was no sound aside from the evergreens and flowers rustling behind him. Not even the sound of waves crashing against the cliff far below could be heard. The man tilted his head up towards the sky, and tried to count the stars as he had done many times before, his emerald green eyes catching the starlight and pulling it into an endless ocean. He sighed, and ceased trying to count the thousands of celestial beings. Lying down in the soft grass, the man thought back over his travels. He had gone from one side of the Earth to the other, never ceasing. Nothing was familiar to him any longer; everything looked different everywhere he went. The man cracked the first smile he had smiled in a very long time, thinking of his one companion, the unchanging friend that was with him wherever he went: the sky.


I wrote this up on the spur of the moment, thinking of how the sky was always the same in my memories. All the good times, the sky looked exactly as it does now. I've just been confused lately about some of my emotions, and writing is a way to vent. This is also a bit of descriptive practice for me, so...

[Esoteric]

Very nicely done. It would be an excellent opener to a short story or something along those lines.

[Photosoph]

I agree; it sounds like it could easily fit somewhere into a story; especially as an opening. ^_^ Nice descriptive writing; you've used good words there too, not just the boring all same ones. ^^ Like the 'celestial beings' metaphor for the stars.

[creed4]

Very good, Nice description, where do you want to take it?

[Destroyer2000]

At first, it was just a way to vent and write something while I was inspired, but now I think I might put it as an opener to a story. Actually, it would be somewhere along the middle of the story, and have one part covering the action coming to that point, and one part to the resolution. A climax of sorts, perhaps.

[Photosoph]

Sounds good. It could fit a beginning or into the middle/end of a story perfectly.

[Tenshi no Ai]

That's some good stuff there^^ And as the others said, it can easily take off into some story, or perhaps in the middle of, or even ending. Lots of potential there^^

[Animus Seed]

May I suggest some revisions?

[silverSky]

Nice... I wrote a first person short story based on a character who related to the sky despite it constantly changing it was always there and a part of her. So that little piece really went home, and it read much better then my littlle short story. ^_^