Mister's Apprehension

[Mister]

i've always had an apprehension of the end. Each day i wake up wondering if its my last. I take each step wondering if it'll be my last step, each conversation my last. I'm not sick, i'm not a soldier at war. i'm healthy, i'm comfortable at home. Safe.

But i cannot shake this feeling, that just on the otherside of my front door lays in wait an unexpected end. But i ask my self constantly, why do i keep opening the door and passing through it? Am i infatuated with death? Do i expect it? Sanity requires me to not spend too much time thinking on it.

Yet every time i stop to think on anything, my mind drifts lazily to this subject. To the subject of my apprehension. Someone once told me the old saying, "all men are alive, but few live", and it wasn't hard to grasp. Though it made me wonder if i was truely living, or just, alive. Maybe, just maybe, my apprehension isn't about death, but what i'm doing until then. What am i exhausting my resources on, where am i going?

Riches never bothered me, cause i've had few. Material objects are a plus, but i'll live without them. There is little or nothing holding me to this world, and those few things i hold to dearly. But i wonder, if there will be a time, when all those things are gone. You see the things that hold me to this world so passionately and with such strength, are Humans. But they're more than that, they are Friends, Loved Ones, Promised ones, and Enemies.

Still i feel the cold dark hands of death on my shoulders every day. I've brushed the gates of death too many times in my life. I do not know what death is like, but i am strangely curious... though.... not that curious. Regardless, i do not fear death, it's paralyzing poison of doubt and fear are irrelevant bites of a nagging fly.

To be quite honest i know why i don't fear the end. cause i know where i'm going and whom is takign me there and meeting me there. Death is no mystery, i've been told by God himself what it is and i don't question him. My Father(God) told me in his word that "It is appointed unto man, Once to die and after this the judgement" so you see death is an appointment we all must keep. but what brings me the apprehension is i'm curious as to when my appointment is. Of course there is only one thing to do until that time, Live.

[Kerusso]

Just so we're clear... this is fictional, right? Cuz if it is, it's very good.