Fairy Tale

[uc pseudonym]

I wrote this for my youth group a while back. The context was somewhat "unique." It was in my Cynicism folder, but I realized that it really isn't all that bad, so I figured I could post it here.

-

Once upon a time, there lived a very evil and wicked king. He had a very noble and beautiful daughter, but he didn't care for
her at all. In fact, he decided to use her in a scheme to get more riches for himself. While he had plenty of riches from taxing his
own people to death, he constantly desired more.

This king hired an evil dragon to kidnap his daughter and terrorize the countryside. Immediately the king pretended to be
distressed and announced that anyone who killed the dragon would receive his daughter's hand in marriage.

Of course, a great many knights, who also happened to be very rich, attempted to defeat the dragon. However, it was a very
mighty dragon, and it killed and ate all of them. In the meantime, the king quietly acquired the dead knights' properties and soon
became much more wealthy.

It was then that three brothers came to the kingdom in an attempt to slay the dragon and gain themselves honor and glory, not
to mention the princess's hand in marriage. All three had wanted to go, but they determined that Edger, the oldest brother,
should go first, because he was the eldest.

Both Edgar and his brother, Gawain, laughed at their younger brother, Kevin, for even bothering to come along.

"We shall surely slay the dragon," they said, "you might as well stay home."

But Kevin merely continued to follow them. They went to the castle and applied for the job of slaying the dragon. The king
readily agreed, and sent Edgar out from the castle to defeat the dragon.

As Edgar marched out into the burned countryside and moved closer to the dragon, he ran into a very old woman beside the
path.

"Please, good sir," she called, "would you give me a penny?"

"Get away from me, you wretch!" Edgar yelled as he galloped past. Very soon, he came to the lair of the dragon. Once there,
he knocked loudly on the side of the cave, and the dragon came roaring out. No matter how much Edgar hacked at the dragon,
however, he could not manage to pierce its scales, and he was soon eaten.

News of Edgar's failure quickly reached the castle, and Gawain went out to fight the dragon. Along the way, he also ran into
the old woman. Not only did Gawain refuse to give her a penny, he also threw a nearby rock at her and yelled for her to get off
the road.

Upon arriving, Gawain fired a hail of arrows into the cave. Soon enough, the dragon came roaring out, quite unharmed. Gawain
fired arrow after arrow, but they bounced off the dragon's tough hide. Before he could consider another plan of attack, the
dragon let out a tremendous burst of fire, and Gawain was burnt to a crisp.

The king was quite pleased, but realized that if the last brother remained alive, he would inherit his brothers' land. So, he
ordered Kevin to avenge his brothers and slay the dragon.

Kevin set out, just like his brothers had. Soon enough, he came upon the small old woman.

"Please, good sir," she called, her thin voice barely hearable, "can you spare a penny?"

Looking her over carefully, Kevin saw that she was quite thin, as if she had not eaten in many days. Getting off his horse, he
gave her a penny, and half of his lunch as well. The woman looked quite happy.

"I hope you enjoy it," Kevin said as he got back on his horse. Just as he was about to go on, however, the old woman stopped
him.

"Since you have been so kind," she said, "I will tell you something. The dragon is very well armed, but if you attack its
underbelly, you will find it is quite weak."

Thanking her, Kevin road off. Soon he also came to the dragon's lair, and it came roaring out to meet him. Rushing underneath
the dragon, Kevin slashed it badly, and the dragon roared in pain. Their battle was fierce and difficult, but Kevin fought with
such courage and determination that he soon defeated the dragon.

Almost immediately, the princess ran out to thank him. With its last breaths, the dragon smashed into the side of the cliff,
sending down an avalanche that killed them both. A few days later, the old woman died of starvation. The king sat inside his
castle, became insanely wealthy and ate peeled grapes the rest of his days.

-

And that's all from the Cynicism folder I feel comfortable publishing.

[majanthehun]

thats sick but its funny...

[Rashiir]

Now that's a story!

[uc pseudonym]

thats sick but its funny...

The theme of the night was "Life Without God." This started it off, with no introduction or explanation. It did the job.

[TheMelodyMaker]

Somehow this reminds me of Judges 21:25...

In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.

[Straylight]

That was funny. I love all the obvious cliches