My prose is like a wild stallion--untamed, untrained. Sometimes I can write something really well, other times my writing is dry and elementary. I don't really know how to control my writer's voice.
I want to know, should I pursue writing, or am I horrible? Should I just drop every ambition to write?
I'd like to present one of my little history homework assignments. The criteria were basically a double-spaced, one-page essay about something relating to the class material which sparked my interest in some way. I guess I'm not sure what to think about this piece. I think there are some positive things about it, but there are also things I want to kick myself for writing because they just sound so stupid.
But I must have been doing something right, because my teacher recognized the piece as a satire and gave me a 10/10 mark on it. I've never written a satire before, so I was unsure whether he would recognize it as a satire and give me a passing mark, or (heaven forbid) he would think that I actually meant the things I wrote and conclude that I am incredibly stupid.
It's just a short satire I wrote about American cities in the 1800's comparing them to prehistoric settlements.
================================
My, How Times Have Changed!
Times are certainly different now than they were in the Stone Age. The 1870s marks the greatest achievement of mankind---the modern American city. The American city is truly the perfected form of earlier cities.
In ancient, Neolithic cities, such as Çatal Höyök, life was much more primitive than it is nowadays. People erected tall structures with courtyards in the center. Living quarters were arranged around the courtyard. Since plumbing had not been developed, people often went into the courtyard to fulfill their daily need to relieve themselves. In addition to dirtying their courtyard with feces, people rid their rooms of garbage by throwing it out into the courtyard. As people went about their business, the garbage and feces was trampled and the floor level began to rise. These buildings were actually engineered to accommodate the rise of the floor.
Tens of thousands of years later, in the 1870s, humanity finally gets it right. Thanks to modern plumbing, humans could now enjoy fresh drinking water drawn from a lake and piped right into their own homes. Now, sewage was dumped back into the lake instead of inside the building. There was no more need for an open courtyard, so the buildings could be closed off to insulate and protect the residents from the chilling night air. Since electricity hadn't been invented, the rooms were rather dark, but this was no matter because people were usually outside, commuting in horse-drawn carriages throughout the city. Cleaning up the manure left by the horses was too large of a task to tackle, but the stench was neutralized by the smoke coming from the factories and refineries. The thick air helped protect the city's residents against lung disease and malaria.
The lifestyle of modern man is undisputably superior to that of the Neolithic man. Thanks to modern advancements in science and technology, the 1870s marked the beginning of an era when we didn't have to walk on floors full of garbage; we had fresh drinking water; and, we knew what was good and healthy for us. The American city is a utopia; it is the pinnacle of modern achievements; it is the Magnum Opus of mankind.
Works Cited
Robert A. Divine, T. H. Breenn, George M. Fredrickson, R. Hal Williams, Ariela J. Gross, H. W. Brands. America, Past and Present. Pearson Education, Inc. 542-543
