Poem: The siren's song

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Poem: The siren's song

Postby Siren of Lyrics » Thu Oct 30, 2003 4:50 pm

The siren's song
When I was young
And lived at sea
I sat on a cliff
Looking into the ocean
Looking at the waves
Turning, Writhing
Each with a word
Making the lyrics
The sercret Lyrics
Of the siren's song

What do you think?
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Postby Taslin_Jewel » Thu Oct 30, 2003 4:57 pm

I like it, Siren, little sister dear.
In a world shrouded in mystery, the winds of change begin to blow.

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Postby CobaltAngel » Thu Oct 30, 2003 5:05 pm

I wish I could write poems as good as you, Siren-chan.
And I knows who you are. Sarah-chan told - *Sarah-chan elbows her* Er, I figured it out all on my own... heh...
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Postby Spiritsword » Thu Oct 30, 2003 5:28 pm

Very nice, Siren, I like it. Glad you posted some of your work.
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Postby Lochaber Axe » Thu Oct 30, 2003 5:36 pm

Happened to check my new thread "Meledriel" and i came upon the poem. Very good siren... reminds me of the brine on the lips old sea yarns such as " The Wreck of the Hesperus". So that is what " On a cliff" means. Doh! :forehead:

I personally wouldn't try to write poems, I just don't have the talent for all the mechanics a poem takes. I wouldn't mind to bad if you gave a little critiscm (constructive of course :grin: ) of my little Meledriel once I have the time to write it.

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Postby Taslin_Jewel » Thu Oct 30, 2003 5:38 pm

Lochaber Axe wrote:Happened to check my new thread "Meledriel" and i came upon the poem. Very good siren... reminds me of the brine on the lips old sea yarns such as " The Wreck of the Hesperus". So that is what " On a cliff" means. Doh! :forehead:


Don't worry, I would find it confusing too if she wasn't my little sister. ;)
In a world shrouded in mystery, the winds of change begin to blow.

A proud member of Star Wars: The Mandalorian Wars and Darklight: Chronicles of Tairis.

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"I'm a warrior-hero-adventurer-goddess who CAN'T SWIM, okay?!?!" ~Skye of Lynlora, from the video game Darkened Skye
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Thu Oct 30, 2003 7:11 pm

It has a very beautiful and charming rhythm. :angel: I like it. :)

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Postby Technomancer » Thu Oct 30, 2003 7:27 pm

That was good. It almost sounds like a fragment of a larger work.
The scientific method," Thomas Henry Huxley once wrote, "is nothing but the normal working of the human mind." That is to say, when the mind is working; that is to say further, when it is engaged in corrrecting its mistakes. Taking this point of view, we may conclude that science is not physics, biology, or chemistry—is not even a "subject"—but a moral imperative drawn from a larger narrative whose purpose is to give perspective, balance, and humility to learning.

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(The End of Education)

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Postby Gypsy » Fri Oct 31, 2003 6:28 am

Nice! Feel free to post some more stuff ... like soon. :)
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Postby Siren of Lyrics » Fri Nov 07, 2003 6:28 am

Gypsy wrote:Nice! Feel free to post some more stuff ... like soon. :)

I'm sorry. I am having a little problem with writers-block :sweat: Please give me time to think of ideas
"The Great Mizuti never lie. Only sometimes. Occationally. Every now and then."
~The Great Mizuti from Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean


"Cast your eyes on the ocean,
Cast your soul to the sea.
When the dark night seems endless,
Please remember me."
Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt


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Postby Fsiphskilm » Sat Nov 08, 2003 8:41 pm

you can describe how the sun rises or sets...???
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Postby Siren of Lyrics » Sun Nov 23, 2003 4:59 pm

Volt wrote:you can describe how the sun rises or sets...???

sure ise dawn and dusk
"The Great Mizuti never lie. Only sometimes. Occationally. Every now and then."
~The Great Mizuti from Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean


"Cast your eyes on the ocean,
Cast your soul to the sea.
When the dark night seems endless,
Please remember me."
Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt


98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
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Postby Icarus » Sun Nov 23, 2003 8:58 pm

"That was a nice poem," says he of little experience. Miraculously, he's right. "I agree with Technomancer about it feeling like a part of something bigger."
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Postby Siren of Lyrics » Mon Dec 08, 2003 9:58 am

thank you Icarus it was very nice of all of you to anwser to my peom *looks at block of wood on desk* But i wound be able to write for a while.
"The Great Mizuti never lie. Only sometimes. Occationally. Every now and then."
~The Great Mizuti from Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean


"Cast your eyes on the ocean,
Cast your soul to the sea.
When the dark night seems endless,
Please remember me."
Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt


98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Mon Dec 08, 2003 8:35 pm

As Winnie the Pooh says, "oh bother." You're not going to be able to write for awhile? Why not? Your poetry is so good.

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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Postby Benu » Mon Dec 08, 2003 8:39 pm

I think it's great Siren. Awesome writing.
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Postby Siren of Lyrics » Wed Dec 31, 2003 4:19 am

true_noir_chloe wrote:As Winnie the Pooh says, "oh bother." You're not going to be able to write for awhile? Why not? Your poetry is so good.

I have writers block :sweat:
"The Great Mizuti never lie. Only sometimes. Occationally. Every now and then."
~The Great Mizuti from Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean


"Cast your eyes on the ocean,
Cast your soul to the sea.
When the dark night seems endless,
Please remember me."
Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt


98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
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Postby Kokhiri Sojourn » Wed Dec 31, 2003 6:36 am

Good work. Hopefully writer's block won't last too long. Sometimes I get stuck in that mode, or I just don't make time for writing. Keep it up though.
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Postby Siren of Lyrics » Thu Jan 01, 2004 5:34 am

Here is a previous one I did in class
in the void
dreams fly past
falling into dark
like ripples on the water
dream shadows I once
knew gone forever
in th viod
Iam falling in the void
"The Great Mizuti never lie. Only sometimes. Occationally. Every now and then."
~The Great Mizuti from Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean


"Cast your eyes on the ocean,
Cast your soul to the sea.
When the dark night seems endless,
Please remember me."
Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt


98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
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Postby Kokhiri Sojourn » Fri Jan 02, 2004 7:58 am

I may like that one even better. Hey, 100 posts for me... :sweat: I like your style of writing.
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Postby Siren of Lyrics » Fri Jan 02, 2004 12:53 pm

thanks :red: :RED:
"The Great Mizuti never lie. Only sometimes. Occationally. Every now and then."
~The Great Mizuti from Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean


"Cast your eyes on the ocean,
Cast your soul to the sea.
When the dark night seems endless,
Please remember me."
Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt


98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
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Postby Icarus » Fri Jan 02, 2004 10:44 pm

Good job. I like this one.
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Postby Siren of Lyrics » Sun Jan 11, 2004 7:17 am

I am writing another it will be done sone
"The Great Mizuti never lie. Only sometimes. Occationally. Every now and then."
~The Great Mizuti from Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean


"Cast your eyes on the ocean,
Cast your soul to the sea.
When the dark night seems endless,
Please remember me."
Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennitt


98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
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Postby Kokhiri Sojourn » Wed Jan 14, 2004 11:13 am

I can't wait... :)
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Postby Inferno » Fri Jan 16, 2004 4:42 am

that was a very good poem keep writing more! :thumb:
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Mon Jan 19, 2004 8:36 am

Finally read your recent poem. Very good. ^_^

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
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