girlninja wrote:hey here's poems ^^ let me know what you think i'll be posting them as much as i can
The murderers heart
a Fateful dark deed
a kind heart turned black
disbelief and doubt scarring
the heart that would end the world
a Prophesied dark deed
peace turned to sorrow
predicted and known
yet it did not stop the abyss from opening
A Bitter dark deed
Sought out yet turncoat
rejected by man , accepted by God
still the heart unsheathed the blade
A Vile dark deed
Here this murderers heart came into light
Doing just as he was told
here the Son of God became betrayed
The Last dark deed
a murderer black that none can compare
God was murdered
,murdered by a friend
well let me know what yall think ^^ hehe i'll post more as it comes
I have tried that, but without the success you have obtained. Good work!girlninja wrote:i thought i would try and see if anything intellectual would come out
girlninja, in regards to Gold and Blood wrote:if an explanation is needed of the poem please let me know
girlninja wrote:another one thankyou for all the support ^_^ i'm enjoying posting on here and getting replies
Gold and Blood
Seeing the eagles wings
as it soars above the trees
to Byzanitium it flies
to there it tries to reach the heavens
to the land filled with gold
And as this eagle
this vain and proud stocked beast
flies on the currents winds
to the land of Byzantium it calls
looking with clear and hungry eyes
towards the largest building there
It lands
quite happy
shaking loose it's feathers
and it touches the largest building there
turning the gold to blood
The blood covers the lands
flowing from the river bend
up towards this land of gold
covering the eagles wings
so that it may fly no more
With bloodsoaked wings
the being sees that it can no longer fly
so it instead goes and walks
trying to find a resting place
as it walks, no longer grand
no longer will people stand in awe
over the greatness of his flight
so instead he is forced to walk
with the other creatures of the dark
Yet they smile and laugh
do they not see, this grand bird wonders
that they walk among the dirt?
Yes, an owl replies, we dont' mind
we were here first
heh ok this was one of the first attempts to use a lot of symbolic imagery and some allusions heh if an explanation is needed of the poem please let me know but if you think you know what it means please i'd like to hear your answers not for the sake of being proudful or complicated but it would help me to whether i need to make my imagery more clear or what ^_^ Domo ^^
Magekind wrote:Writing was soooo close. Sooooo close! It rhymed, for the most part, and I could almost catch a rhythm in it! Aaagh! It bugs me. I like it, though. Didn't have time to read the others yet. Oh, and yes, getting replies and comments is the funnest thing about it. That's why I don't do my short stories thread every day. It's just so... quiet there.
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