Umm... i dunno what to write.

[brightsword_jon]

Hi! It' me, the newbie. This is not my first time to write a story, but this is my first time to show my work publicly in the Web. Please give me some helpful suggestions and criticize my work (don't be too critical though). Note that this is base in Final Fantasy 10 (of course I changed the main story so I would not violate or plaigarize). The names are not the final names too, so don't worry. The final product would be completely different. Lastly, it's not finished yet.

In Christ,
brightsword_jon


Proluge

"Go, now!" a young adolecent commanded. He had messy blond hair that was obviously left unkept for a long time and a handsome but tensioned face.

"I can't leave you here," the girl said. More footsteps. Soon, they were surrounded by soldiers clad in armour and armed with "machina" weapons; guns in the regular English language.

"You have to leave now. There is an exit at the back of the Meggido; you can escape there."

"I can't...." the girl stuttered. She had flowing chestnut-brown hair that reached her waist and dazzling blue eyes.

"NOW!" he commanded sternly. "One of us needs to survive, and it should be you. It is of my greed that has brought us to our doom," he admitted.

Before the girl even responded, the soldiers began to shoot. They were obviously aiming for the young man, but the girl jumped in front of him and was shot instead. Blood gushed out of her as super sonic bullets pierced her. "NO!!!!!" the young man yelled in assorted emotions. He was enraged but depressed at the same time. He swiftly produced a blue sword from his back and swung it. It shone in the dimly dark hall.

Without warning, he annihilated all the soldiers. He wiped his bloodied sword on the carpeted floor and returned it to its sheath. He then ran towards a giant figure, and jumped on its surface. He inserted a peculiar object in a keyhole. "This is for you, Lenne," he whispered.

The Meggido has awaken.

"C'mon, Tidus, it's almost time to kick some Luca butt. We're on a roll man! 10 game winning streak!" Rolan, a friend of his, declared.

"Yeah, I guess," Tidus woke up from his day dream. "But don't brag about it."

"Yes sir," he replied sarcasticly. A whisle blew. Its piercing high noise hooked their attention immediately. "Finally," he said with excitement.

"Alrighty! Time to begin." Tidus and Rolan headed for the main blitzball stadium.

Being in a null gravity environment was a queer but exciting feeling. Blitzball was a sport of soccer and basketball combined that was played in a null gravity surrounding. Its rules are also similar to football, like tackling to get the ball. It can be a painful game, but was very famous. Tidus and Rolan entered the middle of the Gravi-Field as the announcer queued for them. When Tidus came in, people even from Luca city, their rival in blitzball, cheered. Tidus was the star player of Zanarkand, their home town. When the referee blew the whistle, a blue ball that was similar to a soccerball appeared from nowhere. It was the Luca Beast's possesion.



Ball bouncing and players from both sides jumped high to struggle for the ball. Both teams seem to not be able to prepare for offense; both were good. Tidus tackled by shouldering the star player of their opposing opponent. The player bounced off the gravity field. He would have a painful time.

He carried the ball from almost half the 100 yard field. People cheered as he dodged enemies with style. Finally, he was near to the goaly. The goalies wore thick armour and gloves for protection against the high velocity ball. Tidus vollied the ball to himself. He miscalculated the volly though, and had to jump higher.

Noise. Mayhem. He was suddenly distracted by people panicking. What the heck's happening? Once again he miscalculated. He was blasted off the field and was soon outside. Okay. Chill, Tidus. Nothing to worry about, he thought. There was something to worry about though, and it was in front of him. Tidal waves, bigger than tsunamis, engulfed the city like a monster swallowing its prey. "Whoa, what is that thing?" he asked out loud. Still minorly hurt from the fall, he ran.

His wet blond hair from perspiration covered his face. He bumped to a person. "Hey, watch it!" Tidus yelled in irritation.

"Did you forget your manners?" a middle aged man responded with serenity. Tidus fixed his hair to see who he bumped.

"Auron! What are you doing here?"

"I came to take you," Auron replied.

"Take me where?"

"No time to waste. Let's go!" He produced a sword from his huge pack. He had loose red clothes and a limp arm hidden in it. The sword's dazzling blue blade temporarily blinded Tidus. "A gift from your old man. You'll need it."

A bright flash blinded him once more. "Don't be afraid," a young boy's voice spoke.

Tidus looked around when the flash cleared. "What?" Auron asked.

"Umm.... Nothing. Nevermind."

"C'mon let's go!" He quickly ran. A huge creature appeared from nowhere. Its skin that was as wrinkled as an ancient wet tree bark opened up and revealed another creature inside. It grew pores on its back, which shot out seed-like things. The sky turned dark. "Sin's Sporeflies. Its first action to destroy a place," he explained in contempt. "Do you know how to use that thing?" He pointed to Tidus' sword.

"Yeah, I guess. I'll improvise if I need," he replied. Auron seem to not hear.

Another blinding flash engulfed him. "The trial begins," a familiar voice spoke. "Don't worry, I shall see to it that you are taken care of."


Tidus scratched his head. "What the heck was that?" He thought out loud. Auron drew another sword from the scabbard on his back.

"Ready?" Auron asked Tidus once more.

"Yeah. Bring it on!" Tidus gripped his sword tightly, all his muscles tensing up. Sporeflies flew everywhere; they were dark clouds consuming everything in their paths.One flew past them; it passed Tidus and bit him with its tiny but sharp fangs. Luckily, it was only his right arm and only bled a little bit. Despite the stinging pain, his arm was still "commisioned" to fight.

Auron slayed more than a score of Sporeflies; hundreds of them piled up on a heap of grey hill.

[Magekind]

Uhhh.... FFX fanfic, perhaps?

[brightsword_jon]

Yeah, I guess. But I'm gonna change it a lot later, to make it my own.

[girlninja]

*thumbs up* very impressive especially considering your age but would be impressive regardless ^^ umm i would suggest not to do "he said, she said." IT might make the story motonous and repetitive ^^ but keep going!