CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

More poetry by me:

"Reinassance"

Silence.
Feel the heat, it's coming.
Penetration, ressurection.
A new dawn, a new flow.

Rejection.
Absolute, Destiny.
Mokushiroku, unmei.
He's coming, feel the burn.

Ashes.Ashes.
I've fallen onto you.
This Eden, this Shangri-La
This hell on Hell's Island.


Rose, my rose.
My blue, blue rose.
Kill me, thrill me, make me cry.
Hate me, sedate me, make me die.

Catalyst.
It's begun. It's come.
Can't hide blue eyes.
Say goodbye to my LOVE.

To my HATE.
Retreat, regroup, flow back.
Find red on white.
Ah, the fight.

To this
This time, thyme, adeilweiss.
Sing me a song, my dearest.
Watch the notes destroy.

Oniisama
The fallen, the Raven
Blackfeathered dove, my goki.
Forever is not too long.

Sayonara
I weep, I reap my dues
My dearest, my only
Fall not into my grave.

-Crash Metallium 4-20-05

Interesting poem. It has a very rhythmic feel, and the unified structure is a strength; the fact that each stanza opens with one or two words lends to the unity of the poem and helps give it a progressive feel. You also do a good job of using strong, evocative language, even in simple lines like "Find red on white" and "Blackfeathered dove." The use of Japanese words does make the poem seem exotic, but at the cost of rendering those portions of the poem incomprehensible to anyone who does not speak Japanese (with the exception of broadly known words like "sayonara"). Also, I like how you repeatedly juxtapose opposites--love and hate, heaven and hell, red rose and blue rose, blackfeathered dove. I'm not sure I have any idea what some of these images mean or why they are placed where they are, but the poem is fairly intriguing nevertheless.

I'm so honoured by your analysis! *hugs* thank you!
For your information (in cae you didn't already know), here's what the Japanese means:
Mokushiroku- apocalypse
unmei- destiny
oniisama- big brother
goki- happiness

W00t! Thanks so much for your comment! ^_^
God bless!
<3 Angel

Well at least I know some more Japanese now, I already knew about oniisama, thanks to alot of subbed InuYasha

LOL. Glad to be of service! XD!! I learned alot of mine from alot of subbed SKU so...
<3 Angel