Candle in the Dark (Chapter 5 + 6)

[Master Kenzo]

Chapter 5

People ducked and ran for cover as giant shards flew onto the earth. Craters appeared out of nowhere, buildings were razed, and places flooded if one happened to crash into water.

As the disappearances occurred, some of the people on a space shuttle had gone too. Therefore, it had gone off course ~ and into the moon. This shuttle was originally heading for Mars to do soil samples, but the way it was wedged into the moon had begun to break it apart.

So, now and then chunks of moon rock would fall onto the earth, damaging everything in their path. However, the only meteor that concerned us was the one heading straight for the high-rise building called the Earth Council, on 666 Younge Street, Toronto, Ontario; Canada.

Suddenly, all of the other people noticed the meteor. They all screamed and ran under the tables. Teris just stood there, as a meteor the size of the floor came closer and closer, doom in front of their eyes.

That’s when the crash happened. The meteor blasted through the window, flames and all. It rolled around a bit, and singed a hole in the carpet.
Let me explain a little thing called convex lenses. They are curved outward (like a doorknob) and they are generally transparent. The advantage to being curved out is that they refract light away from the source (in all directions), therefore producing a magnified image.

So in that sense, let’s rewind a bit. The meteor ~ smaller than I have established previously, has crashed through the window (making a 1cm circular hole), fallen on the carpet and burned a small hole in it.

“Darn. I really thought that would work, Teris commented, “Wait a second, you three. We can work this out.â€

[calbhach]

Well, I loved the piece, there's just one problem that I found with it. It's where it's talking about the convex lenses. It's really off topic, and it suddenly takes your attention away from the story. Then, you have to start reading about the story all over again. It just really seems out of place. But other than that, I really liked it!

Calbh

[Master Kenzo]

Thanks, when I wrote that part, we were just finishing the unit up on liht in science...and I had already placed the meteor there, and it would ruin the storyline if i took it out, and I wanted to put comedy/irony in...and I suddenly had the idea...and then I was like when I went back to edit it.

I know how you feel, and thanx for the comments.

[calbhach]

Well, I didn't really mean that you should take out the whole part, I just meant that the thing where you explained what convex lenses were should either be phrased differently or it should be removed. That's all I meant, but the rest of it was great!

Calbh