CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

PostPosted: **Tue Nov 18, 2003 10:38 pm**

The purpose of this humble offering is that you may better understand the difference between "good" and "great." Or "poor" and "great," as the case may be. For an example of the latter (great!), read "The Werewolf of Tupelo" by the true noir.

Without further ado:
The Diamond Disco

The light is shatter'd
as the multi-faceted
ball slowly descends.

The disco ball spins,
showing dizzying views of
life to those within.

The ball is broken.
The crowd gasps as they behold
a brilliant gemstone.

The diamond hovers,
reflecting and breaking the
light that falls on it.

They all move once more
as, yet again, the rainbow
cascades on the walls.
thank you for attending

PostPosted: **Wed Nov 19, 2003 6:54 am**

Hey, pretty cool stuff! I really liked that one, especially the line "The disco ball spins, showing dizzying views of life to those within."
Nice!

PostPosted: **Wed Nov 19, 2003 9:38 am**

Icarus you are a great poet.

I can see you're a reader. I remember reading your bio now about the big library, right?

Hmm, :eyebrow:

what to do with your introductory comment at the beginning of your poem. *slips you a twenty under the table for the promo* :lol:

All I can do is bow graciously and thank you for enjoying my writing. I really appreciate it.

I'm glad it's the type of story you like.

PostPosted: **Wed Nov 19, 2003 1:50 pm**

Aw, shucks. Thank you, kind ladies. If you would like to see more, I have two, maybe three more I would not be mortified to have others see. I am sorry to say that the majority of my efforts have been about deciding what to write.

Ah, well. once more thank you for your comments, and good day.

P.S. and about the library, once we moved up here, the situation was much worse. Only ten books at a time 'til you turn 18, then 15 at once. :stressed:

PostPosted: **Thu Nov 20, 2003 2:23 pm**

Double posting! EEK!
Anyway, here is another one that's fun.

Carte Blanche

A blank page! Oh, my!
The pristine line
unsullied by pen or ink.
Shall I write? What?
Certainly, no trivia
will mar its beauty,
nor smallness its virgin
expanse.
A blank page. Oh, my.

PostPosted: **Thu Nov 20, 2003 2:25 pm**

Oh my, that's a cute short poem. ^-^ I like the name, "Carte Blanche."

PostPosted: **Fri Nov 21, 2003 11:26 am**

You have a way with words.

I look forward to reading more.

PostPosted: **Sat Nov 22, 2003 12:09 pm**

"Ask and you shall recieve"

This is my moms favorite, and one of my earliest. I don't think I told her how it started. You, lucky blighters, get to guess. I will post the answer. Eventually.

The Dream.

It's 10 o'clock, go to sleep, my little friend;
and I'll be with you while you wend
your way through paths of sleep.
Imagine, the fathomless deep,
where stars therein do shine,
Or maybe flowers in a field
to grace your hair and mine.
Fifty warriors, strong & brave
to gaurd the princess fair,
While miles away doth sleep
a dragon in his lair.
Hush now, go to sleep.
There's naught for you to fear.
For always while you sleep
I will ever be here.

PostPosted: **Sat Nov 22, 2003 6:34 pm**

Whoa, I love this poem of yours. It is so sweet and well done. I felt comforted reading it, Icarus. ^-^ Thanks.

PostPosted: **Mon Nov 24, 2003 4:34 pm**

[SPOILER=The Dream] It was originally about a guy talking to his hunting dog. Aren't you glad I changed it?[/SPOILER]
One disclaimer be fore the next poem. I am not advocating drunkeness. The setting is during the Black Plague in Europe. A merchant son comes home to find his family dead but for his younger brother, who he consoles the only way he knows how.

One for the Road

Slake your thirst
before we hit dirt.
There's naught but bones
to leave at home.

Drink your fill, my lad.
Above all don't be sad.
We've packed our bags, we're off to roam
The wide world 'neath skys blue dome.

Bottoms up, my friend.
Through dry deserts to heavens end
We'll ride the dunes of shifting sand,
Race 'til we run out of land.

Here's to you, old boy.
The world's your private toy.
Wind it up and when it's done
Sail into the setting sun.

Let's go, old bean.
It's time to dream
of the many faces you shall meet.
Greet them from between your sheets.
-T.M.

PostPosted: **Mon Nov 24, 2003 6:53 pm**

That's so sad.

I really like "The Dream." I imagined guardian angels as I read it.

PostPosted: **Tue Nov 25, 2003 7:16 am**

you are a natural poet

PostPosted: **Tue Nov 25, 2003 6:02 pm**

Tet-chan wrote:you are a natural poet

Thank you, Tet-chan.

EireWolf wrote: I really like "The Dream." I imagined guardian angels as I read it.

Really? I had always pictured it as a father to his baby daughter. After looking at it again, a guardian angel does make more sense. Subject officially changed

.

PostPosted: **Wed Nov 26, 2003 12:57 am**

At this point all I can do is agree with everyone else. You are a very talented poet. I hope you'll keep posting your work here^_^

PostPosted: **Wed Nov 26, 2003 8:27 pm**

Thank you Iesu. Mostly, I imagine my dad reading the poem as I write, his cadence and what he would emphasize. Two poems this time.

Black ink flows
as I collect my thoughts.
Subjugating
my wit to my will
and failing as my
wit rebels against force

Slowly, my mind turns
to other thngs, like
shoes and dreams, the things
in between.

untitled

untitled, my life begins.
filling pages, finding shape,
but untitled it remains.

untitled it contiues;
growing, changing; remaining
true to itself; untitiled still

here I am; untitled.
my life is my own to find
a name for, to change from

Untitled
to "_______."

hope you like them.

PostPosted: **Fri Nov 28, 2003 10:12 pm**

You are such a gem, Icarus. I like "untitled." ^-^

PostPosted: **Sat Nov 29, 2003 3:38 pm**

my big bro *tear* i'm so proud!

PostPosted: **Sat Nov 29, 2003 11:23 pm**

I'm going to assume that you are at least half-way serious this time, Convoy (keep on truckin'!), so thank you. Chloe, if I am a gem, then it is uncut, and in need of polishing.

On to the point of this thread, illustrating the difference between myself and one that has been carefully cut, and polished like you wouldn't believe (see first post).

The Joust

My knight fights bravely
with his sword; hewing through foes
shields and their armor.

I hand him his lance.
Horses charge; the spears shatter.
One lies on the ground.

My master moves on;
another melee. His sign,
the Three Crescents, flies.

One more joust 'til the
touney is done. My Lord Black
will win, as he must.

A roustabout, that I am.
Called many things,
but rarely a man.
My parents have money,
I'd like to not.
So I use my days
spending what I've got!

I went to the tourney,
(ten pence admision!)
and arrived just in time
for the final decision.
The Knight of Three
Crecsents, Sir Black, I believe
had to defeat Sir Justin
of Two Leaves.

"Twas a glorious joust
but Black had to fall.
In the end it was Justin
who triumphed o'er all.

Okay, the poem has been edited.

PostPosted: **Wed Dec 03, 2003 5:47 pm**

dearest icky, hehe, i think it would work better if you just left those four lines out. peace homeys!

PostPosted: **Thu Dec 04, 2003 2:46 pm**

I would agree with your sister.^^ I love your poetry, as always.

PostPosted: **Thu Dec 04, 2003 3:41 pm**

This one I actually wrote this year (last month). I haven't named it yet.

Hello!

Her pen stops after scratching the opening.
What shall she communicate?
The daily gossip seems to trivial, while her feelings of the moment are too chaotic to reveal.

I read a good poem the other day, tell me what you think...

She hopes he likes it. It is her first try at poetry.

...our cat had her litter yesterday. The kittens are so cute!

Gossip it is.

Mom checked their gender, as noone else would face Gingher's wrath.
There are 3 boys and 2 girls. One of the boys reminded my of you. I named him Vash.

Stop. She hesitates and wonders if he will ask what it is about the kit that reminds her of him. Obviously, she can't tell the truth; that it's just adorable in general. Scratch that line.

I finally got my license!

Should she elaborate?

Maybe I could come and see you.

That seems safe enough.

I've been thinking of you a lot lately...

That could be troublesome.
Especially if he asks "How so?"
There goes that line. Drat.

...that's all for today. Write back soon.
[indent][indent][indent][indent]Love,[/indent][/indent][/indent][/indent]

She stops for the last time, wondering what his response will be to the lettter. Looking over it, the page of her thoughts seems covered by edits and white outs. Dejected, she starts again.

Hello!

and there it is.

PostPosted: **Thu Dec 04, 2003 3:48 pm**

whoa! man i wish i could write poetry.... good job icarus! man you sound very professional

PostPosted: **Thu Dec 04, 2003 8:49 pm**

Ruroken wrote:.... good job icarus! man you sound very professional

I am a pro. At least on the subject of the last entry. I have self edited for content and context more letters than I care to recall.

I'm still waiting for more opinions on the last stanza of the joust.

PostPosted: **Fri Dec 05, 2003 12:51 pm**

I think I gave you my opinion on the last stanza of the joust. I agreed with your sister.lol

You do write like a professional. I like your writing so much, Icarus.^-^ I also like how you try new things. You always push yourself a little farther with each time you write. Sometimes we need to mix it up to get better - aye?

PostPosted: **Sat Dec 06, 2003 4:47 am**

true_noir_chloe wrote: You always push yourself a little farther with each time you write. Sometimes we need to mix it up to get better - aye?

Yes, milady, the fun is in the challenge

true_noir_chloe wrote:I think I gave you my opinion on the last stanza of the joust. I agreed with your sister.lol

Yeah, I think I'm going to delete them, but I'd like to see what my dad thinks about them first.

Moving along, I need to post this before I chicken out.

The Bugler

Once more, the bugler
finds himself above everyone.
Looking down, watching.

In, but not of, he
is apart from the chatting
crowd he sees below.

He is lonely.

nerve fail...

PostPosted: **Sat Dec 06, 2003 11:16 pm**

Hi Throwback, haven't seen you before. Are you a member of Icarus' family too?lol Anyhoos, welcome to CAA.

You should think of introducing yourself in the Welcome thread and also start your own thread of poetry here in the writing section. ^-^

PostPosted: **Sat Dec 06, 2003 11:22 pm**

true_noir_chloe wrote:Hi Throwback, haven't seen you before. Are you a member of Icarus' family too?lol Anyhoos, welcome to CAA.

You should think of introducing yourself in the Welcome thread and also start your own thread of poetry here in the writing section. ^-^

It sounds like my dad. Pardon me while I go check. Yeah, that's him.

PostPosted: **Sun Dec 07, 2003 6:36 pm**

it's like a family reunion, icarus. where's the fruit salad?

PostPosted: **Mon Dec 08, 2003 8:39 pm**

I'm sorry, is throwback really your dad? Or, did I read that wrong? I really love that poem of his.^^

PostPosted: **Tue Dec 09, 2003 9:17 pm**

Be ye warned. The following doth make merry at the expense of Batman (Ye Olde Television Show). If Batman, in his myriad incarnations, is hallowed unto thee, thou art advised to fly.

Also, as this rips the old show, the Boy Wonder does use the word "Holy" in a way that may be frowned on. Otherwise, this is mostly mindless fun. Hope you enjoy.

Oh, my. My word. Wow.
Darn. Blast. Drat. Man. Wowser. *Beep*
Flying invective.

"Flying invective, Batman!
He means to swear us to death!"

"Don't worry, Robin. As long as you keep your Bat-Earplugs in, we've nothing to fear."

"Holy sonar, Batman! I forgot mine!"

"Robin! Weren't you listening all those years in Boy Scouts? Always be prepared!"

"Blistering blasphemies, Batman! Could I share yours? Hurry, I can feel my face starting to blanch!"

CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

The diamond disco

The diamond disco

Flying Invective!