Reflection

[Linksquest]

I wrote this short story today. Any comments appreciated!

SYNOPSIS: A science fiction short story about a man who travels back in time to change his past only to have a revelation too late.

Reflection
by Linksquest


The winds will be sucked dry of life and song. Silent echoes will whisper against the noise within Oreh’s mind. Quiet, colorless buildings and still, gray decimation points will be scattered across the city, screaming in mute horror, pointing their jagged fingers accusingly at Oreh.

The dream: the perfect, utopian society; so temptingly sweet. The masses will have blindly followed Oreh’s instructions without contemplating the ramifications. They will have been sheep; having been led to the cliffs. They will have been beckoned to jump with enticing lumps of sugar.

The stench of decay will mock the pristinely blue sky. Taunting winds will pick up stray newspapers here and there, removing ashes and placing them elsewhere. The red of dwindling flames will fade to gray. Mourning for them all, against the cloudless morning, the silence will weep. Silence as deafening as this will have never been heard before on Earth. Wordless words will float everywhere, dead to life and living death.

Within Oreh’s mind, questions and torments will become his waking pain. The wanting to place the blame on someone other than himself will keep him shaking in the cold of the dying world. For within the corpse of his conscience, he will know that he was the cause of it all.

Grasping the small pendant that will dangle from the faded gold chain around his neck, Oreh will be resolved to mend his errors. His only thoughts will be on making everything right in the world once more. Oreh’s finger will press, ever so slightly, against the glossy surface of the black pendant. Tightly shutting his eyes against the blinding light, Oreh will throw himself to the ground, grasping for something to hold onto, as the wind’s velocity will increase in hostility.





Oreh opens his eyes to the scene of children swinging, jumping, and laughing in the park across the street. Resurrected are the buildings, vegetation, and people in colors vivid with life. A bird flies to its nest and feeds its hungry offspring. A woman gazes proudly at her blueberry pie, cooling on a window ledge. A little girl plays hopscotch on a sidewalk, whistling a happy tune.

“I made it,â€

[Nami]

*dies* AND? and what?? *dies again* NOO!! I need MOOOREE!!
lol Good Job, Write more! lol

[Anna Mae]

I suspected where the story was going fairly soon. I take it that Oreh just gets stuck in a never ending cycle of timetravel?

I could not find meanings of the names Oreh and Nailliv anywhere.

[Linksquest]

I suspected where the story was going fairly soon. I take it that Oreh just gets stuck in a never ending cycle of timetravel?

I could not find meanings of the names Oreh and Nailliv anywhere.

I'll tell you the answer here, but put it in spoiler tags in case anyone wants to try figuring it out [SPOILER] Look at the words "oreh" and "nialliv" backwards [/SPOILER]

[Anna Mae]

Very interesting... and ironic.

[Linksquest]

Very interesting... and ironic.

Yea it really is ironic. Thanks for actually reading it, it was quite long. And to answer your question about the continuing loop... you are correct.

[Anna Mae]

Thanks for actually reading it, it was quite long.

Sure thing.

[stripe man]

Short isn't the word i'd use. Great story. Oh yeah and thanks for checking out my thread

[Esoteric]

Ciretose likes it very much.

But man, it would stink to get trapped in a loop like that...although, you probably wouldn't ever fully realize it.