A Romantic Story, for those who have asked

[true_noir_chloe]

I've been asked by some of the younger 20 somethings to tell how I met my husband. I'm finally going to tell you my story and hope it helps in your dating life. I've been very blessed in my life after a very hard childhood; but, God was and is always looking out for me. Hope you enjoy the long story.^_^


When I was young I had this dream that I wanted a tall, green-eyed, black-haired man. He looked like James Bond. Actually, I'm partly joking and partly serious. For some reason, no matter what situation I was in with friends when we talked over what we hoped our future husband would look like I said that description.

As I got older, around 16 I was dating pretty regularly. I had a boyfriend throughout my high school years; but, when I became a Christian at 16 my perspective changed. I was petite and average looking, I thought. I broke up with my boyfriend at the time when I became a Christian because he said he became a Christian after I told him I didn't want to be with a guy who wasn't a Christian. That was a red flag and I told him sorry. I didn't want him to say he was a Christian to simply date me. I wanted him to know my Lord before he knew me.^^

At around 17 I dated a guy I met at a SBC youth function and we dated for around a year-and-a-half. He had green eyes and brown hair. lol He went off to serve in the military and we eventually broke up with the distance. I found out he was engaged after getting a girl pregnant in Guam. When he came back, toting his pregnant girlfriend he came to say bye and then cornered me in the bathroom, begging me to get back together with him. Yeah, like that would happen? I was worth more to God then to accept some cute guy who's willing to dump his poor pregnant fiancee. Scheesh. I hope he and his wife are doing all right.

I went off on the mission field and was still a virgin. I also had a plan when I was young and throughout my 20s for when I was dating. Don't, do not, no matter how much the guy pleads, let him touch you in any inappropriate areas. I call it the "bikini rule." I teach this today to teen girls. The "bikini rule" is this: Wherever you might wear a bikini don't let a guy touch you there. That's left for marriage.

I always held a high standard of myself when dating guys because I knew God had a high standard for me. I teach this to my daughter and I’ll tell all you young girls now, He really does care about you and does have a very special plan for you if you are His child. Be patient and wait upon the Lord. You’re worth a lot!

During my mission trips and when I worked on college campuses again I met guys here and there. We dated, we broke up, he flirted, and I didn't reciprocate. *hehe* I always remained a virgin.

When I was around 22 or 23 I fell head over heels in love, or what I thought was love, with my best friend. We had been best buds in CA for over three years and worked on the same college campus. Then, I found out he was being counseled - for being gay.

After that, I decided God must not want me to be married. I was 104 pounds, nicely built, good hair, had a lot to offer the opposite sex I thought. But, I just thought there's no way I'm supposed to be married. I poured my heart instead on ministry in CA. When I was 251/2 I was called to Texas to join my friend’s mission group and double as the graphic artist for his company. I said, "Sure." I wasn't tied to CA in any real sense. My best bud was still being counseled and I was still disillusioned at his stories of life as a gay man – which, he now openly shared since we were best friends. If anyone wants to know if gay is normal – ask me – it’s not.

In Texas I went to church with my friend and my employer. It was the first day I visited his church, a Bible church, that I walked into the college/singles class late, coming in from the back when I saw him. He turned around, his eyes so green that they flickered in the fluorescent lighting of the classroom. He stared at me as I walked down the aisle trying to find a seat. Wow, he was so cute, I thought.

After the class was over his best friend, Bob came up and started talking to me. Obviously, Larry (green eyes), sidled up to his friend and joined the conversation. We couldn't stop staring at each other. Afterwards the singles met at a cafeteria and went to lunch. I didn't sit by the green-eyed guy, but by my friends.

At the end of the day I stayed for another four days in Texas and then was called back to CA with the ministry I worked with and some family issues (my sister had been in a motorcycle accident). That's where my family is from. I didn't see old green eyes for another eight to ten months. On a side note: While I was in Texas I called my mom on the phone and told her I met someone. His name was Larry, like my brother and he worked in the church helping the elderly. I just went on and on until my mom said he sounds like the one for you. "Mom," I said, "we've just met." I laughed it off.

When I came back out to Texas to help my friend again in his business, after quitting the ministry I had been in, I, of course, went with him to his church. This time, when green eyes and I met after class we both met eyes and remembered each others names.

He asked if I wanted a ride to lunch in his car. He had a little white sports car and was known by the girls in the singles group as the most eligible bachelor. He even owned his own home. I wasn't impressed; rather I couldn't dismiss the way he looked at me. My husband was quite the flirt and I thought, man what a stuck up guy.

But, for some reason we kept running into each other in the singles group and in Plano. He lived in Allen, which is the city just north of Plano. I shared an apartment in Plano with my two roommates. He also worked on cars and my roomy asked if he'd fix her car. So, through a period of a few weeks he was always over working on her car. I knew she was up to something. She'd disappear on us when we were alone. Then we went to a baseball game: The Texas Rangers against the Kansas City Royals. Our college group decided to split up sitting according to where our loyalties lay/lie. I instantly sat by George Brett's team, my favorite the Royals. Well, guess who the only other KC fan was? Yes, Larry was from Kansas City and old loyalties die hard.

Let me digress. Larry was always helping out anyone who needed it. He was self-sufficient and a hard worker. He never said no to help anyone in need and had started the widows group at church. If a woman needed her lawn mowed, he was there. In that vein, I admired him so much. My admiration became total deep romantic infatuation. Until one day he made a comment, while we were driving on a date. He said, "oh my wife... uh." We both turned our heads in opposite directions at his comical faux pas; however, secretly I was happy he called me his wife.

In the next two weeks for my birthday he was going to take me out to breakfast. I was dressed to the nines. He picked me up at six. Why so early? But, my boss and roomies all pushed me to go with him. He had to work later so we had to get breakfast early. I'm not a morning person.

We drove off - straight to the airport. He flew me down to San Antonio for breakfast. It was a set up. And on the river walk, as the night filled the sky above, he proposed.

I waited. I waited to let a man touch me. I waited for the man God had for me. I waited because I really wanted to save myself for my Lord. He blessed me with a wonderful husband. We've been married for 15 years and have two children. We have had difficulties; but, God has brought us through. God will always place your desires first when He is first in your life.

If you like my story please let me know. I hope you have a blessed day.

In Christ,
Valerie *hugs*

[Tamahome]

Wow. This story you told is like that out of a book. Its a great story and to top it off, its true. I hope you and your husband grow old together. Later!

[shooraijin]

Indeed! Thanks for the testimony. It helps guys to hear it, too.

[true_noir_chloe]

Thanks. Yes, it's all true and I hope it helps guys and gals alike. Tamahome, we're planning on growing old together. It seems the longer we're together the more we're in love. God being at the center of our life plays the biggest part in that. ~-^

[EireWolf]

That is such a cool story.

So romantic! *swoons*

[Locke]

hwoa ^^ kool!

[Kesshin]

That is so sweet, Valerie! I hope I meet a guy as cool as that someday. I haven't had much luck on the dating front so far. Still, I'm still young.

[Azier the Swordsman]

I've never dated all my life. Still, I hope to meet a girl someday. Interesting story.

[Mimichan]

*sigh* that was very romantic. It's wonderful how God has blessed you. And I think it's a great message to the younger and single women to keep themselves pure for their future husbands.

[shooraijin]

It's also a message to guys to keep *themselves* in good standing as well. Guys and girls by themselves are only half the problem, ne?

I'm always happy to hear that even in this day and age, a Christ-centered romance is possible. Right, phil and Eire?

[Mithrandir]

I'm always happy to hear that even in this day and age, a Christ-centered romance is possible. Right, phil and Eire?

What's this romance stuff I keep hearing about?

j/k

Good story, yo!

[Gypsy]

Thank you very much for sharing this with us! You made it clear that it may not be easy, and it may be confusing sometimes, but true love really does wait - even if you haven't met yet. I'm happy to hear how God's plan worked, and is still working in your life. Hopefully, many of us will be able to share similar testimonies someday.

It seems the longer we're together the more we're in love. God being at the center of our life plays the biggest part in that. ~-^

That's what my parents will tell me once in a while. My mom once said something that I never forgot. "I loved your father so much the day I married him, but when I look back on it now, it was nothing compared to the way I love him now." And I believe it is because they too, kept God in the center of their lives together. This also carried through to how they raised my brothers and I.

[true_noir_chloe]

Your mom sounds very wise, Gypsy. You must have gotten some good genes... Christ-laced ones. ~-^

>>"I loved your father so much the day I married him, but when I look back on it now, it was nothing compared to the way I love him now."

Now I have a good phrase to tell my kids in 40 or so years. ^_^

[cbwing0]

Great story! I enjoyed it thoroughly.

It seems the longer we're together the more we're in love. God being at the center of our life plays the biggest part in that. ~-^

I can't even imagine that. Maybe I will understand one day.

[Will Smith, Jr]

I can surely relate. True_Noire_Chloe, that was a great story. It is so encouraging to hear about Christ centered marriages. Your story and my marriage story have similar points so it is good to know that we were not/are not alone. Oh, and the purity to factor is big. It's great that you and your husband have that same commitment during your pre-married state. And a big fat DITTO, since being married to Ms. Smith, marriage has been getting sweeter and sweeter day by day. Wow, what a gift from God!

WillieDoc

[Little T-chan]

AWWWWWWWWWWW!!! That's so romantic!! *sigh* You're so blessed. I hope when I grow up and get married, my story will be as romantic as yours!! Eee!! ^_^ I'm glad I found this thread! It's romantic AND EDUCATIONAL!!! *starry eyed*

[Kokhiri Sojourn]

True_noir_chloe, thanks so much for sharing. I really appreciate seeing or hearing about people who go before us and can encourage us in our lives. It is great to see that common goal of glorifying Christ in your lives has drawn you even closer together than you were before. Thanks for the testimony, and being a great example for all of us to follow in purity and practice. God bless you and your husband, and I'll see ya around the forums. =^)

[uc pseudonym]

I've been meaning to read this for some time, though just because you wrote it. Then I get in and find out it's actually a real life story, not just a romance. That kept me interested.

Good to hear of your story. Reminds me of my parents. God bless you.

[Shao Feng-Li]

wow waht a story *dies*
you did well in that situation. just to bad "dating" aint what it used to be: noa days most parents jsut let the tenns go off in the car on a date and expect them to behave. We need ot get back to "Courtship"

[true_noir_chloe]

Ruroken, I never really had any parental supervision. My dad was always gone and my mom was always at work or in a depressed state. When I became a Christian at 151/2-years-old, I made a decision. I'd like to say this to the younger women and it's what I firmly believe, we are worth so much more. I always tell my daughter she's a precious gem to God. We were worth enough for Christ to die on a cross for us. We were worth enough for God to send His only Son. We are worth it to keep pure because our God wants us to. Also, we are able to say "no." Unless something horribly unforeseen happens in the Tamar-type style, we as women need to say no. It would be nice to say that guys are in control, but men are not always of the right mind - especially young men. I've always had to be the one to slow down the situation or get up and leave. Please guys I'm not knocking you down. Let me just say, this is more often the case than not. There are wonderful guys out there who are honorable and chivalrous - I met one - but, we girls are the ones who are really in control.

Think more of yourself. Really. Use the bikini rule and the mind God gave you, and think over Who's watching you. We are all precious in God's sight. ^_^

Sorry to rant so much more. I don't think we can condemn all parents over bad decisions that we ultimately make or don't make.

[Shao Feng-Li]

just dont let your children out ofoyu sight when they're are in love, dont put themin the car with their boyfriend. My mom made a few mystakes but nothing horrible. she'd never let me alone with a boy either. Kids cant control themselves, hormones get the best of them.

as for the bikini rule, id probly go for a decent sized pair of shorts and a full t shirt lol.
but seriously dont let your daughter "Date." go to dinner with the young couple ,maybe to a movie. Have dinner and have your child invite her boyfriend over... just dont let them be alone. Nothing could happen, Something could happen ... No one simply knows.
...advice froma 14 year old

[uc pseudonym]

I don't think we can condemn all parents over bad decisions that we ultimately make or don't make.

Sigh... but oh can we try. I'm not going to rant about our legal system, but I had to sigh, as that comment reminded me... but I digress from the topic.

Indeed, our choices are our own. I doubt God will be very convinced by "Honest, I couldn't help it!"

[true_noir_chloe]

>>as for the bikini rule, id probly go for a decent sized pair of shorts and a full t shirt lol.

You may be right, Ruroken.LOL
You'd be a tough mom. ~-^

[Shao Feng-Li]

i ve learned from the best

[Rachel]

cool story. i hope someday that i can meet a good guy. i get asked a lot at school if i've ever done " it." usually by guys. and when i say no, they ask me to do " it " with them. i always say no. sometimes the guy will ask me why and i will tell them that it's because i'm waiting until i get married. most of the time he will leave me alone after that, but sometimes they can't seem to get it through their think skulls and i tend to get creative with my answer. i think my favorite one was " if you want to go to the courthouse right now and get married, then maybe i might." one way i look at it is this. it's a gift, and nobody wants to be given a gift that someone has already opened and used.

[cbwing0]

i get asked a lot at school if i've ever done " it." usually by guys. and when i say no, they ask me to do " it " with them.

wow...that's pretty direct. Are they serious when they ask you?

[Rachel]

i think so. i think in my first post i wasn't very clear and it made it sound like i get asked that all the time, but i don't.

[uc pseudonym]

one way i look at it is this. it's a gift, and nobody wants to be given a gift that someone has already opened and used.

I understand where you're coming from, but there's some danger in that manner of thinking. No person cannot be redeemed (we're Christian, ne?). Opened gifts can still be loved and cherished by the right person.

Now I certainly hope no one misinterprets that.

[true_noir_chloe]

I understand you completely UC. Everyone deserves forgiveness, otherwise Christ wouldn't have come. I also see what convoybutterfly is saying from her standpoint. She's is still the unopened gift and wants to remain that way. I think that's very admirable.^_^

[Shao Feng-Li]

I agree ith UC on that. Forgiveness... but chloe no one "deserves" forgiveness. . Ive always been told we were born as unholy sinners, deserving NOTHING, untill God saves us (even then we dont "Deserve" anything.) tell me if im not being clear here... hmmm