Corrupted wish game

[Twister980]

Granted, it's now squeaky clean.

I wish the Internet was no longer boring.

[Neane]

Granted. It is now full of hyper gerbil viruses that destroy every computer they encounter.

I wish that they WOULD NOT GIVE Mireille Bouqet A FIANCE IN THE LIVE ACTION SERIES OF NOIR!!!!

[Peanut]

Granted, she no longer has a fiance in the live action series because she is no longer in the live action series. They replaced her with a monkey...enjoy!

I wish that monkey wasn't so entertaining.

[Kaligraphic]

Granted. The other monkey is even more entertaining. Sadly, it's also all you have to eat on a desert island.

I wish for the power of teleportation.

[Twister980]

Granted, but it goes wrong, you teleport into a fly and become part fly.

I wish Wheatley would land some day.

[TheMewster]

Granted, but he gets revenge on GlaDOS by destroying the whole world.

I wish... um... I'm running out of ideas.

[Twister980]

Granted, a water buffalo roams through your room, trampling your manga collection, your Anime DVDs and movies.

I wish everybody had a water buffalo.

[SincerelyAnomymous]

Granted, everyone had a water buffalo.

I wish I had a baby kangaroo.

[Twister980]

Granted, yours is blue, and mine has feet!

I wish Ferb would shave.

[Neane]

Granted. But he shaves with a light-saber and cuts his nose off.

I wish that Ferb had a nose.

[Twister980]

Granted, it's Pinocchio's noise, and it grows every time he lies.

I wish this next statement would be false.

[SincerelyAnomymous]

Granted, but it's true that it's false.

I wish I had a beard.

[Neane]

Granted. But now Gnomes live in it.

I wish that there were no Gnomes living in Ferb's beard.

[Adorima]

Granted, but the Gnomes are now ravaging your front lawn every night.

I wish I had a nice job.

[Peanut]

Granted, but your nice job quickly takes over all of your time and removes you from the ones you love the most. You die lonely and no one attends your funeral...but at least you had a nice job.

I wish I was playing better.

[Neane]

Granted. You are now in the video game that you were playing and cannot get out.

I wish that I stopped losing THE GAME.

[softsubs]

Granted, you win the game. The reward for winning the game is being locked in a fridge.

I wish I had a pizza right now.

[Twister980]

Granted, but it's a Pepperoni and Pineapple and Chocolate chip cookie pizza.

I wish the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would take Softsubs pizza.

[Masquerade1412]

Granted, but they throw it in your face for being late on their delivery.

I wish I could project my thoughts into other human minds.

[Peanut]

Granted you can project your thoughts into other human minds using the new Corrupted Wish Thought Projection device, available for 30 easy payments of 9,999.99. Just be sure to not look into the operational end of the device...bad juju happens when you do.

I wish the Corrupted Wish Thread wasn't so commercial.

[Twister980]

Granted, it becomes a hipster's game and is boring now.

I wish that Covenant Scarab outside would stop stepping on my onion grass.

[sarahjoy78]

Granted, Now its eating your grass.

I wish I could think of something to wish for.

[Peanut]

Granted, you think of the most awesome wish ever. A wish so awesome it would change the very fabric of the world and bring forth an era of peace and prosperity for everyone. Sadly you quickly forget this wish before you can post it and change the world.

I wish all games had a feature which made them play themselves.

[Dante]

Granted. Every time you open a game, you think of The Game and it automatically plays itself - you always lose. Thanks a lot, you also just made me lose The Game.

I wish I grew up in Vermont and lived a carefree happy youth and the rest of my life was filled with friends and infinite quantities of love.

[Twister980]

Granted, but you get tired of it very quickly and end up wishing it was Secretary Appreciation day every day.

I wish I won the game.

[rocklobster]

Granted, but everyone who's lost it is now beating down your door and wants you dead.
I wish dogs and cats could get along without causing an apocalypse.

[Twister980]

Granted, instead the squirrels get angry and burn down their drug factories. Which cause the cats and dogs to start a war against the squirrels which ends in the apocalypse.

I wish 60's Robin would wear pants.

[sandalwood]

Granted, but they're purple plaid pajamas.

I wish I was more invested in my studies.

[Dante]

Granted. Now you ended up like I was, studying all the time but with no friends or love, you don't even have emotions left. Studies occupy your existence and getting anything less then perfect in class means you've failed life and you end up taking it violently out on your emotional and physical self each time. You can learn just about any quantitative subject you want, but ultimately come to realize that without emotions you have no drive for anything - the knowledge is meaningless without desire.

I wish every wish ever wished in this thread came true as the uncorrupted version of the wish and that no one would ever corrupt those wishes ever again.

[rocklobster]

Granted, but now all the members of CAA find out where they live and form an angry mob because you spoiled their fun.
I wish DC didn't have to change Superman again.