Peridition: One Girl's Story

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Peridition: One Girl's Story

Postby Kunoichi » Sun Apr 01, 2007 11:42 am

This is the first segment. Let me know what you think ^_^

Chapter 1
Beep. Beep. Beep. The alarm clock went off as if shouting, "Wake up! TIme to GO! No Rest! Let's go!" Kelly groaned as she got up, walked past a pile of clothes on the floor and shut it off with a resounding "click".

She took a deep breath, her hand running through matted and slightly greasy hair. It was Monday, she was supposed to go to school today. She felt her body tense at the mere thought of that hellhole.

"Kelly! Are you up?" her mother's head popped in. An attractive woman in her late thirties, her mother had her hair up in a pony tail with cream all over her face.

Kelly nodded. "Okay, well you only have 20 minutes so get going!", her mother's head disappeared once more.

Kelly let out an audible sigh. What she really felt like doing was screaming but she resigned herself to her fate. She reached down into another pile of dirty clothes and retrieved a pair of jeans. She held them to
her nose, sniffing cautiously. These will do she decided.

She reached into her drawer, grabbed a shirt, which one did not really matter and put it on. She went to her bathroom, ran a brush through her hair, careful to not look into the mirror. Others did not seem to find her
attractive, so why should she?

Kelly skipped breakfast and grabbed a pile of books too big to fit in to her backpack. She checked her wallet for money and walked out the door into her mother's car.

Her mother came rushing out, a large handful of files. Kelly heard her mom flipping pages until 2 AM where she finally fell asleep exhausted on the couch.

"Ready?" her mother flashed her a smile. She really was beautiful. Her make-up carefully applied and her clother neatly pressed. She did not look as if she was going to hit forty next year unless you noticed the dark bags underneath her eyes from working late and having little sleep.

They said little to eachother on the ten minute drive to school. Whenever they did talk on this dirve it was always her mother asking questions, mostly about school. Kelly would always answer in dry mono-syallables.

When they pulled in front of Watson Highschool. Kelly kissed her mother on the cheek, said I love you and watched her mom speed away. She was late for a 7:00 AM meeting. School did not start for at least another hour.

Kelly looked over at the looming buildings at her highschool. If darkness could take form, she thought, then the school would be a solid mass.

Few kids were roaming the locker room as Kelly opened her locker, placed two book in that she thankfully would not need until tomorrow. She went into the library, grabbed a book on Sherlock Holmes, a favorite of hers lately and began to lose herself in the latest fantasy of the English detective.

* * *

Two forms hovered over the girl, unbeknown to her. One, an asian named Kazuya and a femaile named Rachel, exchanged somber looks.

"Is she the one the LORD has chose?" Rachel clasped her hands together, forming a circle with her fingers. She always did that when she worried.

Kazuya nodded, shifting to see Kelly's eyes reading the pages fervently, almost as if her life depended on each word.

Rachel turned to him, her blonde hair falling gently on her shoulders, "Do you think that she will be ready?"

Kazuya looked at the girl for a moment before speaking, his eyes never leaving her, "It is not for us to understand His will. He wished it to be so and it will be as He says."

"I do not understand the human heart, Kazuya or why it is so turmoiled."

Kazuya smiled, "You are young and still an apprentice Rachel, do not be dismayed. The LORD has special plans for you as He does for all of His creations and eventually, you will start to see them as our Father does."

Rachel nodded, "Free Will."

Kazuya said nothing but continued to watch the girl, fascinated. He felt Rachel's hand on his shoulder and followed her gaze to the ceiling, his eyes narrowing.

Rachel's hand gripped the handle of her sword. Two craetures crawled on the ceiling. Their eyes were a golden yellow, the irises small and pure manevolence emitted from them.

THeir eyes golden beauty quickly faded as the rest of their faces came into view. THey were winkled, dark and tar-like. Resembling human and gargoyle with ten times the amount of leathery, sulfuric-smelling skin.

THey were crawling about on the ceiling, their fans gleaming and pulled in a type of smile. Sharp, raven-like claws gripped the ceiling, moving every minute to glare and gnash their teeth. Both had thin, string-like muscles. It was clear that they were not warriors.

"Stay calm, Rachel," Kazuya warned, his hand stopping her from pulling her sword.

"What business do you have here?" Kazuya addressed the one creature on the left, he had a red ruby around his neck.

"Weeee dooo noot answeerr to yoou," it revealed it's gleaming fangs even more.

"Leave the girl be, Nicholas," Kazuya spoke quietly

It glared, 'My name is Torak, not Nicholas, angel, and we do not answer to you, she's ours!" They both cackled as if he had just told a joke.

Kazuya said nothing in response, "Rachel we must go". Rachel started to protest but Kazuya's look told her to keep quiet.

Kazuya took a last look at Kelly before letting his wings open as he and Rachel shot through the school ceiling, towards the heavens, the demons cackling ringing in their ears.
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Postby Esoteric » Sun Apr 01, 2007 6:59 pm

Hmm, nice! Besides the occasional misspelled word, you write very well, indeed. It could be an interesting story.
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Postby Kunoichi » Sun Apr 01, 2007 8:37 pm

ok misspellings are gone i think ^_^
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Postby Kunoichi » Thu Apr 05, 2007 9:36 pm

Part 2

Gabriel, revelator and messenger of the Most High, sat on a gold covered throne, backed by jewels of every hue. His eyes scanned through a scroll that he had been studying for a fornight.

"Master Gabriel!" came a familiar high pitched squeal. It was a young apprentice messenger named Zalul. Curly brown hair, which was now covered in a white sticky substance, came through the door first. Zalul was a youngling with only a decade of experience in being a "whisperer", one whom is able to give words of encouragement that the Saints need so often now a days.

Gabriel hid a smile as he placed the scroll down, "Yes, Zalul". He tried to become serious but well, a marshmallow looking angelic being was not a very serious matter.

"Master Gabriel, it was Nora. She covered me again because I said that I believed her grammar was off in her poetry," he pouted, his lower lip jutting out.

As Gabriel opened his mouth to respond, Teresa came in. She was on eof the mothers that watched over the apprentices. Talented, witty and with a great Love for the Lord, she guided the apprentices to learn how to serve with all their potential that GOD had created in them.

A normally smiling Teresa, now wore a look of scorn as she walked in. "I told you not to come in here, Za-", she stopped mid sentence, bowing reverently to Gabriel, "I greet you brother Gabriel, messenger and revelator of the Most High." Gabriel bowed as well, his blond locks falling gently on his shoulders, "And I you, Teresa, mother of the apprentices and servant of the Most High."

Teresa looked over at Zalul, "And I suppose you forgot to give respect as well didn't you? Hmmm?"

Zalul blushed a bright crimson, gave a hurried bow and ran out the door. Teresa smiled at him as he left, "Really this younglings are going to make me ask the our Father for a retirement into the choir."

Gabriel smiled, "You know that you enjoy your work." Teresa laughed, "And so I do."

Gabriel sat down upon his jewel encrusted throne again, "What is it that you wished to speak with me about for I know you dear sister, you do not chase younglings without a good reason."

Teresa glanced at the open doors that led into the hallway, "Well Zalul will not go without a stern talking to but you did read me well. There has been news from Kazuya and Rachel."

Gabriel rose his eyes with interest, "The ones who have been assigned to her then."

Teresa nodded, "Yes. The Lord says that the time will be soon Gabriel. Our Father's heart breaks for this girl."

Gabriel nodded, "As it does for all those that would not see Him and accept His love."

"He worries for her Gabriel. Lucifer's angels have started their pursuit."

Gabriel nodded in understanding. THeir former brethren have been more on the move as of late from what Michael had said earlier.
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Postby Nami » Fri Apr 06, 2007 5:27 am

*reads intently* *_* WOWOWOOWOWO!!! This is good!! Oooh, hey, you should also check out Kit-chans story, Kunoichi-sama, You would like it I think ^^ Good work BTW I like it XD
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Postby Kunoichi » Fri Apr 06, 2007 8:27 pm

Gaah I had typed this whole thing and then erased it.....lol Ok let's try this again lol

Part 3

Gabriel stood from his throne, pacing. His wings shone slightly as the light refracted of them. Teresa watched transfixed at the beauty of the wings. It was not what man would imagine nor could its beauty be described. The Father had given them even though they would not be seen by the angelic beings yet their beauty was there and Teresa always seemed fascinated by them.

Teresa looked to the North where the citadel lay. Light brighter than the sun illuminated the heavens. It was where the Three-In-ONe dwell, a mystery that even the angels did not comprehend.

"Teresa," Gabriel broke her from her thoughts, "Gather three of your messengers that we might offer words of comfort to-"

Teresa's shoulders sagged as she felt the burden that she must now tell him. Gabriel saw the look in her eyes and knew before she uttered another word.

"Her heart is that hardened?" Gabriel stared as if in disbelief.

Teresa said nothing, she did not need to say anything for they both knew the ramifications of that very statement.

"So then it will be the Spirit of our Father who shall draw her to Himself, if she so chooses Him," Gabriel ran his hand through is hair, saddness etched into his features.

"Dear Gabriel," came the voice of a thousand waters. Light illuminated the room, blinding the two angels.

Teresa and Gabriel's knees buckled at the sound, their eyes filling with tears before they even hit the floor.

It was the voice of their Father, one so full of compassion that one could not help but feel the overwhelming love.

"We must save her, Gabriel, we must for the Father would have her to Himself through His Son," came the voice once more as if its very heart was breaking.

Gabriel nodded, the lump in his throat blocking all attemps of speaking. Light blinded them but had they been able to see, they would have made out a form of a man with a long robe and hands that seemed to pour blood out onto the world.

***

Kelly gave a sigh of relief as the last bell rang. She grabbed her bag and stepped out of the class without a look to anyone. Alone and without attention, just as she likes it.

She started her walk home. Her mother only drived her the two mile trip in the morning.

"Worthless," came the whisper.

*more later*
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Postby Anna Mae » Mon Apr 09, 2007 6:13 pm

By "peridition," do you mean "perdition"?

It could use some light editing.

You speak of Asians and females as if they are parallel types of beings.
Wait, at the end of part one, the angels just abandon her?

The angels come across as uncomfortably humanoid.

I would have thought your portrayl of the Spirit would have been Jesus.
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]

[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
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Postby Kunoichi » Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:38 am

The angles are meant to be my interpretation of them, in my opinion the angles can still choose Satan or they can choose God therefore they might have some apsects of human qualities to them.

The reason the angels left Kelly was not out of wanting to but rather that they had to report it.

*smile sorry if it was not something you enjoyed
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Postby Kunoichi » Thu Apr 12, 2007 6:01 am

"Worthless," came the whisper once more. It reached through as if a tendril of cancer, rummaging in her soul and piercing it.

Kelly ignored the voice, but knew that it would not be long before she succumbed once more to it. "Worthless, Pathetic, Worthless, You are nothing," came the rampage, a silent and torturous battle within herself.

Kelly finally reached her home, her heart beating ten times faster than the normal rate.

"You are nothing," came it once more.

Stop it, Kelly pleaded with herself, just stop it.

"YOu know you are nothing,' came the response, "Not loved and not wanted. You own father left, your own mother is never home. You have no friends, who would want you, worthless," it taunted, playing with her.

Kelly felt familiar tears fall down her cheeks. She felt the heavy resignation fall on her. That's it, she decided, I'm done with this.

She went to the kitchen, grabbing the butcher knife out of the block.

So easy. Her breath became louder in her ears. The whispers still continued mercilessly.

She felt anger bubble inside of her and she placed the blade on her wrist. So easy, she felt her body calm even though she knew that this would be her death.

So easy, she smiled and the whispers encouraged.

****
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Postby EmoSamurai » Sun Apr 15, 2007 5:44 pm

awesome story, dying to see what happens next!
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Postby Kunoichi » Tue Apr 17, 2007 7:15 am

"M'Lord!!" Came the scream down the hallway as Gabriel and Teresa were gathering up themselves from their meeting with the Lord.

Gabriel turned, his eyes still puffy from crying to an angelic being. He wore white armor, a sword on his hip. His black hair and black eyes shone with beauty. He held some scars on his face from battle and now his eyes which normally were peaceful, now were deep in anguish.

"M'Lord," panted the warrior, who had a blond hair apprentice in tow, "It is Kelly. She is going to kill herself. Lucifer's messengers are already there!"

Gabriel's face drooped in sadness, "Kazuya, the Lord wants three messengers, including myself to her, but we are not to intervene. The Lord will call her. You two will come as you have followed her all her life."

Kazuya bowed in understanding, as did Rachel. Gabriel gave a meaningful look to Teresa as all three left the room.

***

Torak, one who had been called Nicholas before the Fall, giggled in delight as he watched Kelly's face in pain, "Worthless," he whispered. He and three others, all under his command, clapped in delight when she went to grab the knife.

"She's ours," Torak grinned, his face pulling back into a snarl.
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Postby EmoSamurai » Sun Apr 29, 2007 8:41 pm

oh so intense....reminds me of my life.
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Postby Anna Mae » Tue May 29, 2007 4:46 pm

Hey, I've been gone for a while, but I'm glad to read more of your story. I hope you continue to post.
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]

[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
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