Don't want to go to churcn anymore

[Riggidig]

(I'm not really sure where I'm supposed to be post this, so please feel free to move it as you see fit mods)

I haven't been to church in the last, 2 months or so I think. I just don't have the desire to go anymore. The last time I went to church was one Sunday morning when I woke up early and I REALLY wanted to go, but that was about, more than a month ago. Before that I used to go every Sunday. Now I just don't want to. It's like, when I think about going to church I feel REALLY uncomfortable. For example tonight I was invited to go, but I deliberately stalled after work so I wouldn't make it (it's after 7pm and I'm still sitting at work, not wanting to go anywhere really). I actually feel GLAD that I missed it. This surely isn't normal, is it?

[Atria35]

It might depend. Why don't you want to go to church? If it's just because you don't want to, for no discernable reason, it could be that you're just suffering from a case of the lazies. But thinking about why you don't feel comfortable in church might give you some answers.

[Riggidig]

It might depend. Why don't you want to go to church? If it's just because you don't want to, for no discernible reason, it could be that you're just suffering from a case of the lazies. But thinking about why you don't feel comfortable in church might give you some answers.

When I think about going to church, instead of looking forward to it I feel very uncomfortable. Basically how you felt/feel like when going to school.

[Maledicte]

Is it the people there? Is it the theology, or the general vibes you get while you're there? These can be a factor. It might be worth it to look into a church that suits you spiritually.

[Nate]

I haven't been to church in years. For a while, it was because of my job (working night shift, and we worked on Sundays), but even after I quit I didn't feel a need to go back. I didn't connect with anyone on a personal level at the church, despite having grown up there...what I mean is, there were people I knew and were friendly with, but they weren't really friends, they were friends of my parents. There's no one my age at my church. On top of that, I don't fit in well with the church theologically, and that really made me uncomfortable.

And since all the other churches in my area are worse (about these things, I'm not making a statement about the quality of the people/services), I just don't go to church anymore. I don't think it's really a bad thing. I often feel closer to God chatting with friends online and posting here on CAA than I do sitting in church (I'm also not saying CAA should be a substitute church, either, I'm just saying how I feel about it).

[Riggidig]

I haven't been to church in years. For a while, it was because of my job (working night shift, and we worked on Sundays), but even after I quit I didn't feel a need to go back. I didn't connect with anyone on a personal level at the church, despite having grown up there...what I mean is, there were people I knew and were friendly with, but they weren't really friends, they were friends of my parents. There's no one my age at my church. On top of that, I don't fit in well with the church theologically, and that really made me uncomfortable.

And since all the other churches in my area are worse (about these things, I'm not making a statement about the quality of the people/services), I just don't go to church anymore. I don't think it's really a bad thing. I often feel closer to God chatting with friends online and posting here on CAA than I do sitting in church (I'm also not saying CAA should be a substitute church, either, I'm just saying how I feel about it).

I remember once at a youth group (which was led by a young pastor) how the one girl said that she also doesn't go to church and prefers get togethers like this instead, because it is still also 2 or more people gathering in the name of God. The young pastor was quick to shoot her down, saying its wrong NOT to go to church, because basically the leaders of the church had more knowledge regarding the Bible and such, compared a bunch of "everyday" people just getting together. The girl never came back to the group by the way.

Who was right and who was wrong?

[mechana2015]

In my (personal) opinion the girl was right. What the youth pastors were preaching was worship of the church construct rather than God, and were promoting a method of Christianity that is only tenable for a certain, select, group of people on the planet. Churches as we know them aren't feasible for everyone for a whole variety of reasons.

I also think he let his ego get ahead of him in assuming that 'common' people couldn't know as much about the bible as pastors.

[Ante Bellum]

Yeah, I have to say the girl was right. To me, it sounds like the guy thought that the place of worship was more important than the actual act.

[Riggidig]

While I cannot remember 100% what was said, I believe the young pastor raised the point that a church is more "structured" compared to, say, a get together at home. He also pointed out that a church had more "trained" people who knew how to deal with certain issues eg. spiritual crisess, needing advice regarding issues of faith, etc. compared to people who met in groups outside of the church.

[Atria35]

While the structure part is true, I don't necessarily think that having less structured meetings is a bad thing. I rather like it when I can interrupt and ask for clarification on a point- and I actually end up learning and understanding more when I'm not in Church.

He is right concerning the spiritual crises and advice regarding issues of faith- people in the church tend to have training to deal with those, though having support from friends is just as important- but in terms of just getting together to talk God and the Bible? I would take someone's basement over a church any day.

[MrKrillz0r]

The point of going to church is to grow in our faith and praise God. So however you do that doesn't really matter, just do it the way you feel is best. Myself I like my church and I think its a great place to praise the Lord and grow spiritually. But I have found myself skipping church and being online and I've been left with the feeling that it was a good choice because I somehow read/talked and ended up growing in my faith, probably more than I would have at church.

So my thoughts is that whatever makes you grow spiritually is the best way, but if you don't go to church it would maybe be great to at least put down a hour reading the bible and praying etc... like doing a little extra which you would not normally. (Now some people would probably not need to do that either, but for me personally I would think thats a great way to grow..)

[Nate]

While I cannot remember 100% what was said, I believe the young pastor raised the point that a church is more "structured" compared to, say, a get together at home. He also pointed out that a church had more "trained" people who knew how to deal with certain issues eg. spiritual crisess, needing advice regarding issues of faith, etc. compared to people who met in groups outside of the church.

My response would be so then what about the early church, right after the Gospels had been written and there were no theological colleges and seminars and nobody was trained? Were they "lesser" Christians because they didn't have anyone to train them and everyone was completely new at what was going on?

[Radical Dreamer]

I remember once at a youth group (which was led by a young pastor) how the one girl said that she also doesn't go to church and prefers get togethers like this instead, because it is still also 2 or more people gathering in the name of God. The young pastor was quick to shoot her down, saying its wrong NOT to go to church, because basically the leaders of the church had more knowledge regarding the Bible and such, compared a bunch of "everyday" people just getting together. The girl never came back to the group by the way.

Who was right and who was wrong?

I would've mentioned the following verse:

1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

As Christians, we're all capable of reading and studying God's Word. Just because one person is a pastor doesn't make him or her any more qualified as a person than someone who is a strong follower of Christ, but not an ordained minister. We are all capable of talking with God and spending time with Him (referencing "a royal priesthood" here, in that we don't need a priest to act as a mediator between God and ourselves anymore (according to Protestant beliefs). And we're all capable of coming together with one another as a community of believers.

Am I discrediting going to church, or pastors, or any of that? Absolutely not. But I don't believe you have to go to church every Sunday to go to Church, if you see what I mean. The Church is the Body of Christ, not an institution. And really, a lot of what it means to go to church will depend on your own personal experiences. Some people avoid church because they've been deeply hurt by the institution and the people in the church, and I believe that's a fully valid reason to stay away for some time. Others avoid church to avoid feeling out of place or ostracized, and while that's also a valid reason, I think it's very sad that the Body of Christ can't seem to figure out how to love each other. Still others avoid church to avoid conviction, which is a different matter altogether, and is ultimately between that person and God (though not a valid reason to stay away from church, IMO XD).

All of that being said, here is an article I've linked multiple times before, but I agree with it so much that I will just link it again. XD It's relevant to the topic at hand, I think.

Why I Don't Go to Church

[Maledicte]

While I cannot remember 100% what was said, I believe the young pastor raised the point that a church is more "structured" compared to, say, a get together at home. He also pointed out that a church had more "trained" people who knew how to deal with certain issues eg. spiritual crisess, needing advice regarding issues of faith, etc. compared to people who met in groups outside of the church.

Some people happen to thrive within structure. Some don't. So more structure may be a detriment to someone's spiritual growth in some cases. I only advocated still looking for a church, just in case you're the type who needs structure as well as physical human contact. (Personally, I need human contact more than structure, but I find structure pleasant.)

In regards to "training," not all training is created equal, and I'll just leave it at that.

[Riggidig]

I would've mentioned the following verse:

1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

As Christians, we're all capable of reading and studying God's Word. Just because one person is a pastor doesn't make him or her any more qualified as a person than someone who is a strong follower of Christ, but not an ordained minister. We are all capable of talking with God and spending time with Him (referencing "a royal priesthood" here, in that we don't need a priest to act as a mediator between God and ourselves anymore (according to Protestant beliefs). And we're all capable of coming together with one another as a community of believers.

Am I discrediting going to church, or pastors, or any of that? Absolutely not. But I don't believe you have to go to church every Sunday to go to Church, if you see what I mean. The Church is the Body of Christ, not an institution. And really, a lot of what it means to go to church will depend on your own personal experiences. Some people avoid church because they've been deeply hurt by the institution and the people in the church, and I believe that's a fully valid reason to stay away for some time. Others avoid church to avoid feeling out of place or ostracized, and while that's also a valid reason, I think it's very sad that the Body of Christ can't seem to figure out how to love each other. Still others avoid church to avoid conviction, which is a different matter altogether, and is ultimately between that person and God (though not a valid reason to stay away from church, IMO XD).

All of that being said, here is an article I've linked multiple times before, but I agree with it so much that I will just link it again. XD It's relevant to the topic at hand, I think.

Why I Don't Go to Church

Thank you for the link. It was a good read.

I remember a couple of years back I attended a church regularly. At one stage the young pastor there told me I'm not REALLY a member, but rather a frequent guest, all because I never bothered to SPECIFICALLY sign up with that church. I must be honest and say this bothered me a bit. I eventually left there because one morning the pastor asked me NOT so sing in the choir, because at that stage I was battling with a sin (still am really) and he said he thought I wasn't "spiritually ready" cause I wouldn't let go of the sin. That really hurt me and we haven't spoken since It's probably one of the many reasons I'm not that keen on attending churches myself.