The Story of a Boy, and a Girl He Loved

[Destroyer2000]

The sun set over the bay, turning the water a fiery red. An evening breeze gently blew, ruffling the sails of the ships harbored there. A road twisted along the shoreline, separated from the water by a fence. On the other side of this road were benches, placed with trees overhanging to provide shade.
On one of these benches sat a girl, a hand clenched to her chest. Her dress was wet from tears that were even then still streaking their way down her face. As a man walked along the pathway, whistling quietly to himself, the girl looked up and tried to choke back a sob. The man noticed her and smiled, his weathered face browned by the sun. “Is there something wrong, lass?â€

[Darth_Kirby]

Very nice. Even though I predicted that old man was the lad in the story when he began the tale, it still gave the story a nice touch. Very genuine feeling. At least to me.

[Destroyer2000]

Very nice. Even though I predicted that old man was the lad in the story when he began the tale, it still gave the story a nice touch. Very genuine feeling. At least to me.

Thanks. I kind of wrote it as an exercise to warm up, and lost my train of thought. So I finished it and went on, but I figured it was decent enough to post.

[Nami]

^_^ How heart-warming. It's pleasant in a bitter-sweet way. I don't know if you meant to, but it seemed as if someday he would be happy. Of course, I'm sure he's happy enough, but happier that is. ^_^ Its cute, sweet. I like it. ^_^ Good job~

[Destroyer2000]

^_^ How heart-warming. It's pleasant in a bitter-sweet way. I don't know if you meant to, but it seemed as if someday he would be happy. Of course, I'm sure he's happy enough, but happier that is. ^_^ Its cute, sweet. I like it. ^_^ Good job~

Thanks; the man was actually somewhat elderly. Maybe in his fifties.

[Nami]

I know. ^_^ I realized from the line; his weathered face browned by the sun which would imply, he is elderly. ^_^ Still, people get married/fall in love at that age! XD

[Destroyer2000]

True! Like I said, it was just a short piece, but I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Nami]

Well, if this is the way you write~ I honestly can't wait to see what else can be coaxed from that brain of yours~

[Destroyer2000]

This was...eh, mediocre. It was nice, but I've done so much better. I'm not bragging! I'm my own worst critic. I'll send you some of my better work, if you like. Tho' I did like the accent, using 'lass' and 'lad' - I've never done that before, and it was fun.

Thank you very much, though. Nothing quite like someone appreciate a writer's work to keep them going.

[Nami]

XD Really? This is mediocre? Well, you must have a mountain of creativity placed deep inside your head then. ^_^ Oh, I'd love to read more of what you've written. ^_^ That would be wonderful~

XD Isn't it fun doing new things? I myself have yet to use 'lad' and 'lass' so many times in a story, hinting at the accent that is a hop-skip-and-jump away from reality. ^_^ Its nice. I like it.

You're welcome! I quite know the feeling~

[acgifford]

I loved that! That was wonderful!<3

[Mister]

i laughed, i cried, i sincerely loved it! IT WAS SO FRIGGIN EMOTIONALLY AWESOME!


(is friggin a word i can't say? cause i don't want to say friggin if i'm not allowed to say friggin...)

[ST. Attidude]

Thanks. I kind of wrote it as an exercise to warm up, and lost my train of thought. So I finished it and went on, but I figured it was decent enough to post.

It was definitely worth it. Thanks for sharing!

What I noticed about writing, its the risk-takiing that makes a story great.