Bad Advice Thread

[silvanis2.0]

Share your bad advice! My nugget of wisdom:
Licking the blades of a blender is the most efficient way to clean them.

[Mullet Death]

Tinfoil hats prevent our alien overlords from reading your mind and are highly fashionable. Don't take them off for any reason.

[Yuki-Anne]

How to cut an onion:

1. It is vitally important that you nestle the vegetable in the palm of your hand, with your fingers enclosed all the way around the vegetable, before applying the knife.

2. Close your eyes to avoid the tear-inducing gases that will be emitted by the vegetable.

3. Chop away to your heart's content, preferably holding the blade as high above your head as possible before swinging it down on the unsuspecting vegetable.

4. MAKE SURE YOUR EYES REMAIN CLOSED. THOSE GASES ARE FREAKING PAINFUL.

[Xeno]

The most attractive women are impressed by guys who can body-board down gravel roads behind pickup trucks.

[Crossfire]

When building a proper bonfire make sure to drench everything with gasoline, then proceed to start it up by placing your lighter at the bottom of the pile. Contrary to popular belief, you will not catch on fire or otherwise singe hair and eyebrows.

It is 100% safe. I know because I tried it last night.

[ClaecElric4God]

When building a proper bonfire make sure to drench everything with gasoline, then proceed to start it up by placing your lighter at the bottom of the pile.

I tried it last night.

Somehow, I believe you. Is that sad?

[Davidizer13]

Large tattoos of daytime television icons are in fashion these days. The best part is, price isn't a factor when it comes to tattoos, so you might as well go as cheap as you can get.

[Sheenar]

The best way to keep your toes cozy during the winter is to place a hair dryer under the covers turned on low. It totally won't catch fire or burn you --nothing like that ever happens...

[Xeno]

The best way to warm up a car on a cold winter morning is to start it up in the garage with all the doors and windows shut. This will not cause deadly fumes to build up and cause asphyxiation in any way.

[Peanut]

Never turn down free money. Especially if its given to you by a shady guy you just met behind Radio Shack.

[Mullet Death]

The best way to make friends on Xbox Live is to scream into one's headset at max possible volume
The longer and screechier the better- lets 'em know you're eager to be friends. Acceptable deviations from this norm include racist jokes, blaring rap music in the background and gratitious amounts of non-CCA approved behavior in-game to the remains of prospective friends.

[Davidizer13]

If you mix a bunch of bleach and ammonia together in a big vat and breathe in deeply, you turn into Superman.

[Yuki-Anne]

Unmarked vans are party central. If you are invited to enter one, by all means, do so. Especially if you are enticed with candy.

[silvanis2.0]

Electrical currents are the best way to energize yourself after a long day. If you were to stick a metal object into an electrical outlet, you'd get the same effect as a few cups of coffee. Don't worry about electrocution. That's never an issue.

[Rewin]

When going on a long drive alone, pass the time by reading a book. Don't worry, driving doesn't take much concentration.

[PandaPop]

The best way to warm up your clothing in the winter is by laying it on the woodstove, nice and toasty. (this has literally happened in my house)

[Xeno]

Always look down the barrel of your gun to make sure it has been properly cleared of any bullets that might be in the chamber.

[Cc4FuzzyHuggles]

Do not do stupid things, UNLESS, you have someone who can catch your moment of stupidity on camera. If there is a camera handy, be dandy with stupidity!
(Don't mind the humiliation, possible injuries, and bad consequences of your actions.)

[Ally-Ann]

If your toast gets stuck in the toaster, fish it out with a metal knife or fork. You get your toast AND a boost of energy to start your day!

[Yuki-Anne]

More calories = more energy, so if you want to lose weight, you should eat more high-calorie foods so that you have more energy to exercise.

[silvanis2.0]

Despite the off-putting name, poison ivy is great for exfoliating the skin. Try to rub the leaves on your face at least once a week.

[AdriTan]

If someone sneaks into your bedroom in the dead of night to murder you, the best protection is always underneath your covers. Their knives can't penetrate that level of snuggliness.

[silvanis2.0]

People enjoy chivalry, and an act becomes exponentially chivalrous the longer you do it. So, if you're holding a door for someone, they will really appreciate it if you start holding it open when they're thirty feet away. They will really appreciate the gesture.

[SilverToast]

Always split up when a murderer is around. You are stronger alone individually than with a group.

[ClaecElric4God]

Always split up when a murderer is around. You are stronger alone individually than with a group.

Especially if you have chairs and a lot of maneuvering space.

If you have to get up at 3:00 A.M. to go to the airport, you're better off staying up till then and watching anime. You'll have plenty of time to sleep on the plane, since there won't be any loud noises (such as children), disturbances (such as the person in the window seat wanting to get past you), or stewardesses (offering you stale pretzels) to keep you awake.

[SilverToast]

Always split up when a murderer is around. You are stronger alone individually than with a group.

Especially if you have chairs and a lot of maneuvering space.

Exactly! You should let the axe murderer swing his axe around to boost his confidence. Then, after he gets tired and overconfident, run around and hit him with a chair to use up that maneuvering space.

[Rewin]

Welding helmets are overrated, a good pair of sunglasses will protect your eyes from the blinding light just as well.

[Panda4christ:3]

If you ever want to heat up your bath, just plug in your hair dryer and take it in with you you'll heat up in seconds ^.^

[ClaecElric4God]

If you ever want to heat up your bath, just plug in your hair dryer and take it in with you you'll heat up in seconds ^.^

*gasp* I never thought of that! I bet you could even turn the hair dryer on under water to heat up the water!

[Cc4FuzzyHuggles]

If you listen to the Nyan Cat none-stop for hours on end you will find complete peace and sanity. I highly advise you do this to feel it's wonderful peace and then share it with all your friends.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI-kpVh6e1U