war story

[glitch1501]

this is my first time posting in the writing section,
this is a stroy that i had to do for english, so i figured i would put it here, i know there is a whole bunch of stuff wrong with it, but hey, its my first try

tell me what ya think


war story

The city was hot and dusty. After a failed offensive strike, Captain Mason and his team of four marines had retreated so far back that they did not know their location. As they stealthily scrawled up an alley, they spotted a patrol checking the streets.
“Fall back men, Jenkins, when he starts down the alley, take him down, silently, remember; we want to make it out of this alive,â€

[Scribs]

I am not much of one for war stories, but I thought this was pretty good. the one thing that jumped out at me as i read it was that at least once you changed perspective from one character to another with out warning. I was a little confused at first about who had put the gun to whose neck. Besides that I didn't notice much wrong.