from my big red book

[c.t.,girl]

i've finally decided to show off my writing skills but i'm sorta scared. a lot of these have stories of my life behind 'em so if ya wanna know just ask. well, here ya go. oh and any opinions are always welcomed no matter what.




the train of loneliness


it's lonely right here on the train of loneliness
it's to bad i don't know when this train is going to stop
it's sad i gave myself this ticket to this train
i just hope your train is better than this
i never really deserved you anyway
i wish i could forget you, just to take the pain away
but in order to forget, i hafta remember
which always givz me so much pain
i'm sorry, i'm so sorry just for everything
i do love you
i wish you would come back
i wish i could go to the past and make everthing intack
if i could, i would search the heavens for you
because i believe God sent you to m
and when i would find you i would say,
"why didn't you tell me," or
"why did you leave in such a hurry?"
i miss you so much
can't you just forgive and forget?
it's lonely here on this train of loneliness
it's so lonely it frightens me
can you help me get a different ticket,
preferably a ticket to go on a train that we can go on together?
please help me, i'm lonely
i'ts lonely here on the train of loneliness,
but it's happy on the train of togetherness.




a poem from my heart


my love is deep for thee and only thee,
to were it pierces my heart so much.
why did you go away from my presence?
there were so many times i needed your touch.
i give you this poem that is from my heart.
writing this poem for you is so hard now.
things were needed said before our parting.
the only word i can thinkof is wow.
please, leave whereever you are and come back.
everday i am always missing you.
i am sorry i came to attack.
i know this love inside my heart is true.
______oh, how i love thee, thou are my everything.
______please, come back to me to make me something.




thoughts


i wish for the days to go faster
to the days that we can spend together
to the days that i can touch you
to the days that i get to see your smiling face
i wish for the memories to last longer
so i will never forget your face
so i can always remember the times we had
so i can remember your sweet smell
i don't know how long
my secret love for you will last
i can't live without knowing
if you do or don't love me
like i you
everytime i hear a love song
everytime i see a couple
everytime i see a love story
everytime i hear the word Love
everytime i see the word Love
everytime i see two birds in a nest
everytime i see someone
who resembles you
who has your eyes
who has your hair
who has your nose
who has the look of Love
i think of you
even after you have left my presence
it feels like you're still near
like you never left my side
i i can still smell your sweet collone(spell?)
i can still feel your warm hands
i can still hear your calming voice
i never want these feelings
that i have for you
to everleave my heart
my greatest fear
is telling you how i feel
and you not being able or wanting
to return the feelings back to me
i am frightened of this
everytime we meet
i would like to spend a few minutes with you
i would rather spend years with you
i wouldn't mind having you with me now
i love you
i will love you forever no matter what
that is how it is with me
i am sorry if you cannot accept this
but that is how i feel
would you call for me when you needed someone?
i would for you
just to hear ny name from your lips
would please me just fine
just to have your hand touch mine
would make my nerves in my hand quiver
it would shorten my breathe,
just to have you near
would do that
i have only felt this once
but this
this is more than that ever was
oh how i wish to be at your side forever
these things i write
flow straight from my heart
i hope i do not sound obsessed
if i do i do not mean to
it's just i don't know what to do
with all these things that i am feeling
i wish i could tell all these things to your face
but i am a coward
i hope you can forgive me
i am afraid of tacking certain risks
i am usually not afraid of anything or one
sometimes i forget how to act around you
i forget that i cannot express myself
that i have to act normal
if you think about it, what is normal?
is it acting like a mindless zombie
with no place to go?
is it acting like you have no feelings what so ever?
is it hiding all your emotions
and neverletting ssomeone know how you feel,
or is it just acting ?
in definition it means to be standard, typical
in other words boring
but as like snowflakes, no two people are alike
so no one is ever normal
so i guess i should act on how i feel
but with self-control, of course
but nothing can keep me
from feeling the way i do
i love you
i love you like how i lov eliving
like how i love myself
like how i love everything
like how i love you
i love everything i know about you
i would love ot know more
so i can love you more
i need you, not that way
i need you just to be near, to be close
i need you like how a bird needs its wings
you make me fly.


whoa that was a lot of typing. i think i'll add nore later...much later, like after my hands regain feeling

[Ssjjvash]

Those are pretty good! ^_^ Mind if I add a poem of my own? Just real quick?

[Jasdero]

wow... that last one was long... very nice, though. ::applause::

[c.t.,girl]

not at all

[Nate]

Oooh...good! And they hit a little close to home...but that ain't yer fault.

Oh, BTW...

COLOGNE. Just so ya know. (Just like Shampoo's great-grandmother!)

[c.t.,girl]

i write on how i feel so sorry if they "hit close to home".

[Ssjjvash]

To All Lonely People

Oh, please don't forget the Lord, the One and only,
Who will never let you be forever lonely.
By the grace of God you can survive!
I hope you will keep hope alive.

Let me hop on your train
So that maybe I can help ease your pain.
I would hate to see you sad, and I hear you deeply sigh,
I see the tears in your eyes, and I don't want you to cry.

Yes, times are bad, and life sure can be tough.
The straight and narrow has always been pretty rough.
But there is glory in the end!
Let me help you make it, friend!

[c.t.,girl]

*tear**sniff* aaw tanx so much vash!!

[Nate]

Hey, c'mon, c.t., you ain't gotta apologize for my crappy love life, it ain't your fault. And Vash I liked your poem too! Very good message. I can't write poems...only short stories.

[Ssjjvash]

^_^ You're most welcome! The reason I put that up is 'cause I used to be very depressed and then my pastor prayed for me one day and God healed my broken heart and I have a hard time staying silent when someone else is upset or sad or lonely. I try to help them any way I can. I mostly stick with praying for them because I can't do much else.

[c.t.,girl]

well it was a very kind gesture. i don't feel that way anymore though. i just haven't written anything new yet so i decided to type that.

[Nate]

Hey, don't get me wrong, I appreciated it.

And it's good ya don't feel that way anymore. When I was in high school that's how I felt pretty much all the time...the only girl I ever really think I loved pretty much ripped out my heart and stomped on it...but this is your poetry thread, not my life story thread.

Would love to see some of the new, not as depressing stuff whenever you feel like doing it.

[Ssjjvash]

Oh, that's good--that you don't feel that way anymore, I mean.
God bless on writing more wonderful poetry! You know what? I used to hate poetry back in the fourth grade. lol. Now I have a bunch of poems. O.o Go figure...

[c.t.,girl]

hey i don't mind hearing stories ! and i'm sorta workin on sumtin but it's not finished yet.

[Ssjjvash]

*lays on padded, comfortable, purple couch* Well, you see, it all started when I was six years old...

JUST KIDDING

[c.t.,girl]

ha ha ha

[Nightshade X]

So sad... yet so reminiscent of my own past... Awesome work. I wish I could write a bit like you. Maybe then, I'd have finished my story that's almost 3 years in the making by now...

[c.t.,girl]

if ya want help i'll help ya

[c.t.,girl]

okay here's sum more...


Thanks


they said i was stupid
they said i couldn't do it
but you told me
not to listen
you gave me the courage
you gave me the strength
i'm so happy that you're here
i'm so happy that you're always near
i thank God for everything
for all that he has given
i thank Him
i thank you
so this i say
i'll always love you
no matter what you do
i'll love you
i thank you
you always helped me out
i still and alway will need you
i thank you for being there
thank you
_________
that was for my mom on her b-day
__________________________________________________________________


Don't Leave

why
i don't understand
why
why you want to go through this
i don't get it
why you want to be so far away
i don't get it
why you want to leave us again
i don't get it
why
why can't it be someone else
why does it have to be you
don't leave
don't leave me
i just got to know you
i just got to love you
and now you want to let it
fall away
don't leave me
why now
why you
why do you do all the stupid things you do
why
why can't someone else take this line
i don't want you to leave me again
i just want you here with me
i don't want you harmed
don't leave
don't leave me
you make me so crazy
i don't know what to do
all i know is davy
is that i don't want you to leave me too
don't leave me
____________
that was for my older brother david, he was gunna go in the national guard, but they told him he couldn't for reasons i will not say.
__________________________________________________________________

My Hero

why can't you be near
so you can alway be her
to always hear me
to always save me
to just be my hero
when my day
is in evil's way
why can't you be near
just to save my day
you're my hero
you're my superman
you're my batman
you're my hero
why can't you have the super hearing
to come save my day
why can't you have the super strength
to come lift my worries away
why can't you come and save my
sad, pathetic day
'cuz i don't need you that way
i love you just the way you are
i love you
your smile's so sweet like candy
your eyes are hypnotizing
you being you is very rescuing
so just be you
and i'll be me
you're always
my hero
________
that's for...um...sum1 from along time ago, sorta.
___________________________________________________________________
well that's all i'll do for tonite. i'll write more later.

[Jaltus-bot]

Hey, this is pretty cool. Good job.

[c.t.,girl]

tanx!

[Nate]

Good stuff, really good stuff!

I'm glad you posted more! You've got real talent there.

[c.t.,girl]

thanx kaemmerite. ya think i got talent?

[Nate]

Of course I do. Okay, maybe I didn't like the third one you just posted as much as the first two, but I'll give you this. It's a better poem than I could ever write. In fact I think I've only ever written one poem. Well I've probably written more for English or somethin' stupid, but there's only one I remember clearly. And it wasn't even for English, it was for Chemistry. Don't ask me why we had to write a poem for Chemistry. I'm not sure myself.

[c.t.,girl]

*jumps up and down exitedly* can i read it?! can i read it?!

[Nate]

Sure, if you want. *Clears throat*

Based on a true story. And no title either.


For Chemistry I wrote a story,
I would have got an "A" for, surely.
But the teacher did not agree with me.
She said, "You need a poem for Chemistry."
But poems are things that I cannot write.
To think of one I'd have to stay up all night.
So I came up with this one at the last minute,
But there isn't a lot about Chemistry in it.
That's my poem, this is the end.
I hope I never have to do this again.



Well, for better or for worse, there it is. But in my defense it was written when I was in tenth grade. Geez, that was like...eight years ago...

[Ssjjvash]

That's not bad! Even if you may not be good at it, it's still better than what most people can do.

I think it's creative.

[c.t.,girl]

i luv it!! really i do!! it so cute!!

[c.t.,girl]

okay now the newest edition and I haven’t written a new song since my mom’s mom passed. She and I were really close. If ya wanna read what I wrote for her pm me. Anyways off that depressing note, note, ha ha ha. I crack myself up sumtimes. Anyways here it is:

Friend/Brother

Ya came to me from outta nowhere
But I guess ya gotta cum from sumwhere
So I guess ya came to me from the holy One
The holy One from above
And ya came down to show me love
And I’m not talkin’ ‘bout that weird like love
But the one that’s holy
And keeps friends together
Yah, you’re my friend
You’re my friend
You’re my brother
You’re my brother from another
But from the same Guy from ‘bove
You’re my friend
You’re my brother
You’re the one I can tell everythin’ to
And e’ery time you’re not around
I start to miss ya
I’m so glad God brought me to you
I’m so happy you’re alive
I love my brother.

[Ssjjvash]

Aw, that's sweet! I'd like to do something like that for both of my brothers! ^_^