I'm really nervous. I'm not that used to anyone reading my stories. So I'm gonna post part of one and see what you guys think. Its sci-fir, something I'm kinda new at and its also kinda a Zone of the Enders fanfic. I own everything except Jehuty, ADA, and LEVs. If you haven't played the game, I'll have a glossary at the end to explain any terms, but its meant to explain itself, so if you don't know what something is, be patient, it'll be explained in due time, like a mystery. Also, for some odd reason, I can't indent anything so I'm sorry if it confuses you. Constructive criticism and critiques welcome!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clip, clip, clip. The sound of shoes on tile floor echoed drastically in the otherwise silent hallway. White lights illuminated the metallic hallway. Door after mechanical door passed by on either side, each diagonal to the last. Silver plates with a code of numbers and letters announced the purpose and function of the rooms to those who worked there. Everything about the hallway was high tech and sterile. Lights blinked off key card slots on each door and hidden cameras recorded the movement and noise of everyone passing. The particular man who strode down the hall stopped and looked up at one of the invisible cameras, a camera he was privileged to know the location off. Probing with his eyes he found the black dot on the ceiling that marked the machinery’s presence. He stared hard into the soulless pit and muttered under his breath.
“Always watching.â€
My story
45 posts •
Page 1 of 2 •
- 1
- 2
Again, I can't believe no one has responded to this story. It's well-written, Hope and I hope you add to it. ^__^
I have one qualm and that is to please place a space between the paragraphs. It makes it so much easier to read than a large chunk of type all in one paragraph. Thanks for placing it here for us to read.
I have one qualm and that is to please place a space between the paragraphs. It makes it so much easier to read than a large chunk of type all in one paragraph. Thanks for placing it here for us to read.
[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE
You see into the deepest part of me ---
beyond the fog I hide behind.
You cast your light upon the shadows
that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.
You ease the pain when I am hurting,
and morbid visions from my past
pierce into the realm of Reason
as though I danced on blades of glass.
You grant me strength when I have fallen
and, once again, I've lost my way.
You take my hand in Yours and lead me
into the promise of a brand new day.
You bring order to all my chaos,
yet set my well-laid plans awry.
You place me on a firm foundation ---
then give me wings so I can fly.
You sand away my roughened edges
and polish all the dullest parts
until I stand before Your presence...
a newly-sculpted work of art.
You see into the heart within me,
right through my motives and selfish will.
And yet, in spite of all You see
You say You love me even still.
~by D.M.~
[/color][/size]
-
true_noir_chloe - Posts: 3091
- Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
- Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^
-
Godly Paladin - Posts: 2016
- Joined: Sun May 23, 2004 10:21 am
- Location: Missouri
Cool but seperate paragrahps
"Foul Beast"
Jesus is the Lord of the Kings
I love hypper people
"...art can teach without at all ceasing to be art."
"Love may forgive all infirmities and love still in spite of them: but Love cannot cease to will their removal."
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
the words of C.S. Lewis "Jack"
-
starstoryteller - Posts: 172
- Joined: Wed May 19, 2004 6:51 pm
- Location: U.S.A. Washington of the town of Issaquah
Okay, here we go. Sorry about the paragraphs, for some reason my computer wouldn't let me seperate them. 
I tried to do paragraphs this time but I can't do them all cuz my dad is yelling at me to get off. I really sorry!! *Sob*
The sounds of machinery coming to life filled the room. The tank in the center began to slowly drain, the green liquid filtered out through seven tubes. Morin watched the figure in the container closely, determined to spot any sign of movement. As he moved to turn away a movement caught his eye. He stopped and blinked. Had he really seen one of the hands move? He peered at the limb in question and the fingers flexed again. Horror dropped into the pit of his stomach like a chunk of ice and he opened his mouth to give the order that would stop the procedure. But before he could utter a sound from his lips and ear piercing alarm sliced through the tense silence. Red lights flashed wildly on the terrified faces of his co-workers and assistants. Green fluid began to pour back into the tank, obviously on Datare's command. "Datare! Status report!" he bellowed. Datare turned around as a great groan came from the tank. Both men chanced a glance. The youth inside had begun to stir. Computers all over the lab began to spark and short circuit, some even emitted small explosions. "Sir, as you can see," replied Datare, gesturing to one of the few remaining computer monitors with the subject's data, "There is very high mental activity going on. I think he's overriding the safety precautions encoded in our hard drives." finished a now frantic Datare. "I'd say he's doing more than that." mumbled Shcramer under his breath. "Well, what do we do?!" asked Morin angrily. "Well, I can try and initiate the safety measures from this computer but I don't think…" Datare trailed off and his eyes widened as he stared at the tank. Morin slowly turned his head, terror rising up his throat. The subject was now conscious, and his piercing, vibrantly blue-eyed gaze bored into Morin.
It only started as a slight, annoying buzz in the back of his mind, but try as he might; Riven couldn't push it away. It kept growing, dragging him into awareness the larger it got. The cloud of numbness that surrounded his consciousness began to dissipate, leaving his mind clearer with each passing second. Slowly he became aware of his body, which led to a sensation that he was floating. Just as suddenly as consciousness began to return, it began to fade out. With a cry in his mind, Riven tried to grasp it and hold on. It still seeped out of his mind, as it had so many times before. Crying out in silent desperation, Riven focused on the "something" that was trying to drag him back into endless slumber. His mind latched onto it and he crushed it with all he was worth. He began to awaken again, unhindered by the "something" that had defeated him before. He flexed a few fingers in an attempt to speed up the process. It helped some and thoughts began to jumble themselves around in his head again. Slowly, ever so slowly, he opened his eyes. Green wavered before his vision and than gave way to form green tinted men in white lab coats staring at him. Computer ringed the outside perimeter of the room. With rising horror Riven realized he was trapped in a tank of some kind with strange green fluid suspending him. He probed his memories for some reason he was here but to no avail. Everything was gone. His mind screamed in frustration but he forced himself to calm down. It would all come back soon. Tentatively he reached out his mind and called for a familiar voice. ADA? ADA, where are you? He almost cried with relief when the answer came. I am here. the orbital frame battle computer replied. Where is Jehuty? questioned Riven. We are in the docking garage in the A west sector. she replied. Right, I'll be there soon. Get ready. affirmed Riven. As you wish. Riven broke contact with ADA and focused on finding a way out. He reached out both hands and laid them against the smooth glass. Closing his eyes he focused on the glass. Jagged green lines mirroring the pattern on Jehuty gleamed just beneath his skin and blinked out. The glass gave a shutter and exploded outwards with in a shockwave of power. Riven spread his wings to catch the air but they were to wet. He dropped to the ground into a sitting position. He eyes stared intently at the ground until he could stop gasping in great breaths of air. Concentrating again, he dissolved his wings into a flurry of snow white feathers. Wet as they were, they'd only get in the way at the moment. Riven slowly lifted his head to look at his captors. They were all staring in horror at him. One held a gun but his hands were shaking so badly Riven doubted he'd be able to aim, much less pull the trigger. Carefully raising himself off the ground, Riven stood up on now steady legs. One of the doctors shook himself and yelled an order. "Stun him, you idiots!" Several men reached for stun guns but Riven was too fast. With lighting speed he reached the first man and grabbed his gun, meanwhile thrusting his elbow into the man's gut and flipping him onto the ground. He dodged the stun ray off another gun just in time. Sliding to the floor he whipped his legs around and toppled the second man, driving a fist into his chest as the man came down. Riven stood up and looked behind to find the other scientists reaching for guns and he bolted towards the door. He jammed the open button and fled down the empty corridor. He focused his mind in Jehuty and felt its presence in a large room just a few hallways away. Gritting his teeth, Riven picked up his pace and raced to his freedom.
I tried to do paragraphs this time but I can't do them all cuz my dad is yelling at me to get off. I really sorry!! *Sob*
The sounds of machinery coming to life filled the room. The tank in the center began to slowly drain, the green liquid filtered out through seven tubes. Morin watched the figure in the container closely, determined to spot any sign of movement. As he moved to turn away a movement caught his eye. He stopped and blinked. Had he really seen one of the hands move? He peered at the limb in question and the fingers flexed again. Horror dropped into the pit of his stomach like a chunk of ice and he opened his mouth to give the order that would stop the procedure. But before he could utter a sound from his lips and ear piercing alarm sliced through the tense silence. Red lights flashed wildly on the terrified faces of his co-workers and assistants. Green fluid began to pour back into the tank, obviously on Datare's command. "Datare! Status report!" he bellowed. Datare turned around as a great groan came from the tank. Both men chanced a glance. The youth inside had begun to stir. Computers all over the lab began to spark and short circuit, some even emitted small explosions. "Sir, as you can see," replied Datare, gesturing to one of the few remaining computer monitors with the subject's data, "There is very high mental activity going on. I think he's overriding the safety precautions encoded in our hard drives." finished a now frantic Datare. "I'd say he's doing more than that." mumbled Shcramer under his breath. "Well, what do we do?!" asked Morin angrily. "Well, I can try and initiate the safety measures from this computer but I don't think…" Datare trailed off and his eyes widened as he stared at the tank. Morin slowly turned his head, terror rising up his throat. The subject was now conscious, and his piercing, vibrantly blue-eyed gaze bored into Morin.
It only started as a slight, annoying buzz in the back of his mind, but try as he might; Riven couldn't push it away. It kept growing, dragging him into awareness the larger it got. The cloud of numbness that surrounded his consciousness began to dissipate, leaving his mind clearer with each passing second. Slowly he became aware of his body, which led to a sensation that he was floating. Just as suddenly as consciousness began to return, it began to fade out. With a cry in his mind, Riven tried to grasp it and hold on. It still seeped out of his mind, as it had so many times before. Crying out in silent desperation, Riven focused on the "something" that was trying to drag him back into endless slumber. His mind latched onto it and he crushed it with all he was worth. He began to awaken again, unhindered by the "something" that had defeated him before. He flexed a few fingers in an attempt to speed up the process. It helped some and thoughts began to jumble themselves around in his head again. Slowly, ever so slowly, he opened his eyes. Green wavered before his vision and than gave way to form green tinted men in white lab coats staring at him. Computer ringed the outside perimeter of the room. With rising horror Riven realized he was trapped in a tank of some kind with strange green fluid suspending him. He probed his memories for some reason he was here but to no avail. Everything was gone. His mind screamed in frustration but he forced himself to calm down. It would all come back soon. Tentatively he reached out his mind and called for a familiar voice. ADA? ADA, where are you? He almost cried with relief when the answer came. I am here. the orbital frame battle computer replied. Where is Jehuty? questioned Riven. We are in the docking garage in the A west sector. she replied. Right, I'll be there soon. Get ready. affirmed Riven. As you wish. Riven broke contact with ADA and focused on finding a way out. He reached out both hands and laid them against the smooth glass. Closing his eyes he focused on the glass. Jagged green lines mirroring the pattern on Jehuty gleamed just beneath his skin and blinked out. The glass gave a shutter and exploded outwards with in a shockwave of power. Riven spread his wings to catch the air but they were to wet. He dropped to the ground into a sitting position. He eyes stared intently at the ground until he could stop gasping in great breaths of air. Concentrating again, he dissolved his wings into a flurry of snow white feathers. Wet as they were, they'd only get in the way at the moment. Riven slowly lifted his head to look at his captors. They were all staring in horror at him. One held a gun but his hands were shaking so badly Riven doubted he'd be able to aim, much less pull the trigger. Carefully raising himself off the ground, Riven stood up on now steady legs. One of the doctors shook himself and yelled an order. "Stun him, you idiots!" Several men reached for stun guns but Riven was too fast. With lighting speed he reached the first man and grabbed his gun, meanwhile thrusting his elbow into the man's gut and flipping him onto the ground. He dodged the stun ray off another gun just in time. Sliding to the floor he whipped his legs around and toppled the second man, driving a fist into his chest as the man came down. Riven stood up and looked behind to find the other scientists reaching for guns and he bolted towards the door. He jammed the open button and fled down the empty corridor. He focused his mind in Jehuty and felt its presence in a large room just a few hallways away. Gritting his teeth, Riven picked up his pace and raced to his freedom.
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v690/Kezzie_Kaiba/Image45.png</img>
-
*Hope* - Posts: 213
- Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2003 8:27 pm
- Location: The Pirate-Ninja Moving Fortress
wow it is pretty interesting i like the detail i can almost imagine myself being there lol i know its been said before but seperate paragraphs would be nice it makes it look like too much to read and i dont usually read that much at a time lol but its a good story keep it up
-
ssj2gohan61 - Posts: 769
- Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2004 10:09 pm
- Location: New Mexico
I agree with ssj2. The way you described things made it happen in my mind, which I think is the key to good writing. Not sure who to root for just yet. :-I AKA, keep it coming.
“Passion without form consumes itself.â€
-
spiritusvult - Posts: 86
- Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2003 12:00 pm
I'm sorry about the paragraphs, but there's absolutely nothing I can do about it right now. My computer won't let me indent or use a large amount of spaces. If I find away to fix it I will, but for now you'll just have to make do. Sorry. ^^;;;
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v690/Kezzie_Kaiba/Image45.png</img>
-
*Hope* - Posts: 213
- Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2003 8:27 pm
- Location: The Pirate-Ninja Moving Fortress
-
ssj2gohan61 - Posts: 769
- Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2004 10:09 pm
- Location: New Mexico
Yup!! Sorry, I hyaven't been able to get in lately. Once again, I'm sorry about the paragraph thingies and I'll try to fix them next update. (i hate my comp....>:S
"Here at Oso Corps we pride ourselves in making the most technologically advanced machines of our time. Hundreds of professionals labor everyday to help make our future a better one. Among our employees are some of the most renowned…" Renee blocked out the chiming sound of their tour guide's voice and instead concentrated on the building around them. Why did we have to go on such a stupid filed trip anyway? she grumbled to herself. A Mizone Highschool sophomore, Renee was forced every year to accompany her classmates on a trip to the business that made her hometown thrive. Many of her friends' parents and relatives worked at the Oso Corps, whose primary focus was innovative devices. Renee, however, had always suspected an ulterior motive. On the outside, Oso Corps was a network of brilliant engineers trying to prosper the human race, but there was sufficient evidence to suggest otherwise. Absolutely no one was ever allowed past a set of plain looking "doors" in an otherwise bare hallway. Renee had once caught a glimpse of someone entering the hallway on a previous field trip. High tech gadgetry lined the corridor inside and out. Many of the doors down the hallway boasted the sign for radiation. Also, Oso Corps owned a large plot of land about one hundred miles from the town, in the middle of the desert. Residents nearby reported explosions and strange lights appearing daily. Several times Renee had seen government agents in the lobby and that said nothing for the fact that all of Oso Corps inventions were somehow related to weapons. Renee's suspicions of Oso Corps' deception only grew every time she was forced to visit, so she'd decided to take matters into her own hands. As the tour group rounded a corner, Renee kept on the straight path that would lead her to the "doors". She continued casually down the hallway, pretending she was supposed to be there and fervently hoping no one caught her. Her class wouldn't notice her absence for a while. Rounding a bend she came upon the very object of her suspicion. In front of her loomed the ominous "doors". With a glance to see if anyone was around, she placed a hand on the door. As she was reaching down towards the doorknob she was startled when it suddenly turned. With a squeak Renee ducked into a shadowy corner and waited as a man in a lab coat exited. As soon as he turned the corner she leapt for the closing doors and caught them just in time. She quickly pulled herself inside and the doors clicked shut. She stood in the hallway she'd seen before, surrounded by metallic walls and blinking locks. Staying close to the wall, she continued down the hallway. When she came to the end the hall split into to two different halls, each was leading into an opposite direction. She started violently when fast-approaching footsteps came from the hallway on her left. Before she had time to react a boy who looked around her age came racing down the hall. He halted in surprise a few feet away from her. Renee thought her heart would leap out of her chest. She'd been discovered. A second glance told her this young man was probably not going to report her. He was completely bare foot and dressed only in a skintight wet suit. She blushed when she realized how easily his well-toned muscles showed through. He had short, silvery white hair and a pair of the bluest eyes she'd ever seen. Both young people stood suspended in time for a few precious seconds. Then footsteps came from the hall the boy had just come racing up and he shook himself out of the trance. With a nod in Renee's direction he took the hallway to her left and sped away as quickly as he'd appeared. Realizing she should probably take his queue, Renee ran as fast as she could the way she'd come and bolted out the forbidden doors. She didn't stop running until she reached the back of her class. Slowing to a halt she gasped in air as sweet relief and a burning desire to know more swallowed her up. Pushing both aside, Renee forced herself to absorb every word the tour guide was saying. But lingering in the back of her mind was still the question she wanted answered the most. What is Oso Corps up to?
"Here at Oso Corps we pride ourselves in making the most technologically advanced machines of our time. Hundreds of professionals labor everyday to help make our future a better one. Among our employees are some of the most renowned…" Renee blocked out the chiming sound of their tour guide's voice and instead concentrated on the building around them. Why did we have to go on such a stupid filed trip anyway? she grumbled to herself. A Mizone Highschool sophomore, Renee was forced every year to accompany her classmates on a trip to the business that made her hometown thrive. Many of her friends' parents and relatives worked at the Oso Corps, whose primary focus was innovative devices. Renee, however, had always suspected an ulterior motive. On the outside, Oso Corps was a network of brilliant engineers trying to prosper the human race, but there was sufficient evidence to suggest otherwise. Absolutely no one was ever allowed past a set of plain looking "doors" in an otherwise bare hallway. Renee had once caught a glimpse of someone entering the hallway on a previous field trip. High tech gadgetry lined the corridor inside and out. Many of the doors down the hallway boasted the sign for radiation. Also, Oso Corps owned a large plot of land about one hundred miles from the town, in the middle of the desert. Residents nearby reported explosions and strange lights appearing daily. Several times Renee had seen government agents in the lobby and that said nothing for the fact that all of Oso Corps inventions were somehow related to weapons. Renee's suspicions of Oso Corps' deception only grew every time she was forced to visit, so she'd decided to take matters into her own hands. As the tour group rounded a corner, Renee kept on the straight path that would lead her to the "doors". She continued casually down the hallway, pretending she was supposed to be there and fervently hoping no one caught her. Her class wouldn't notice her absence for a while. Rounding a bend she came upon the very object of her suspicion. In front of her loomed the ominous "doors". With a glance to see if anyone was around, she placed a hand on the door. As she was reaching down towards the doorknob she was startled when it suddenly turned. With a squeak Renee ducked into a shadowy corner and waited as a man in a lab coat exited. As soon as he turned the corner she leapt for the closing doors and caught them just in time. She quickly pulled herself inside and the doors clicked shut. She stood in the hallway she'd seen before, surrounded by metallic walls and blinking locks. Staying close to the wall, she continued down the hallway. When she came to the end the hall split into to two different halls, each was leading into an opposite direction. She started violently when fast-approaching footsteps came from the hallway on her left. Before she had time to react a boy who looked around her age came racing down the hall. He halted in surprise a few feet away from her. Renee thought her heart would leap out of her chest. She'd been discovered. A second glance told her this young man was probably not going to report her. He was completely bare foot and dressed only in a skintight wet suit. She blushed when she realized how easily his well-toned muscles showed through. He had short, silvery white hair and a pair of the bluest eyes she'd ever seen. Both young people stood suspended in time for a few precious seconds. Then footsteps came from the hall the boy had just come racing up and he shook himself out of the trance. With a nod in Renee's direction he took the hallway to her left and sped away as quickly as he'd appeared. Realizing she should probably take his queue, Renee ran as fast as she could the way she'd come and bolted out the forbidden doors. She didn't stop running until she reached the back of her class. Slowing to a halt she gasped in air as sweet relief and a burning desire to know more swallowed her up. Pushing both aside, Renee forced herself to absorb every word the tour guide was saying. But lingering in the back of her mind was still the question she wanted answered the most. What is Oso Corps up to?
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v690/Kezzie_Kaiba/Image45.png</img>
-
*Hope* - Posts: 213
- Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2003 8:27 pm
- Location: The Pirate-Ninja Moving Fortress
Great, Hope! I think that maybe after you paste this onto here, you can try to seperate the paragraphs then before you post. I don't know, just an idea. ^___^ I wonder what's really going on at OSO also. XDXD
[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE
You see into the deepest part of me ---
beyond the fog I hide behind.
You cast your light upon the shadows
that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.
You ease the pain when I am hurting,
and morbid visions from my past
pierce into the realm of Reason
as though I danced on blades of glass.
You grant me strength when I have fallen
and, once again, I've lost my way.
You take my hand in Yours and lead me
into the promise of a brand new day.
You bring order to all my chaos,
yet set my well-laid plans awry.
You place me on a firm foundation ---
then give me wings so I can fly.
You sand away my roughened edges
and polish all the dullest parts
until I stand before Your presence...
a newly-sculpted work of art.
You see into the heart within me,
right through my motives and selfish will.
And yet, in spite of all You see
You say You love me even still.
~by D.M.~
[/color][/size]
-
true_noir_chloe - Posts: 3091
- Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
- Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^
-
ssj2gohan61 - Posts: 769
- Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2004 10:09 pm
- Location: New Mexico
Wow...this is so cool 
it makes me whant to draw the Characters. Rivan is a sweet character. Gotta luv the white hair and blue eyes and the wet suit... 
nowonder Renee whants to know whats going on.
it makes me whant to draw the Characters. Rivan is a sweet character. Gotta luv the white hair and blue eyes and the wet suit... nowonder Renee whants to know whats going on. "Foul Beast"
Jesus is the Lord of the Kings
I love hypper people
"...art can teach without at all ceasing to be art."
"Love may forgive all infirmities and love still in spite of them: but Love cannot cease to will their removal."
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
the words of C.S. Lewis "Jack"
-
starstoryteller - Posts: 172
- Joined: Wed May 19, 2004 6:51 pm
- Location: U.S.A. Washington of the town of Issaquah
Wow, you guys! Thanks so much for reading this! I'm sorry I ahven't posted in a bit, I couldn't get on. So now I'll post some more! *huggles Riven* As for Oso Corps, *snickers evilly* You'll just have to wait and see!!!
Riven sprinted around the corner and was greeted with a blessedly familiar sight. A catwalk about three stories above the ground stretched across a huge garage. Next to the catwalk stood a magnificent human shaped metal machine. Jehuty. The imprinted jagged lines in its outer coating began to glow fluorescent green as soon as Riven approached. A scientist who stood near Jehuty and hadn’t noticed Riven jumped a few feet back and adjusted his glasses. Riven ran to the orbital frame, ignoring the scientist who exclaimed in surprise. Placing his hand on the cold metal of the advanced weapon, Riven closed his eyes. The same lines that glowed on Jehuty began to radiate underneath his skin also. He smiled. It was good to feel something familiar. The metal around the cockpit flowed back to reveal the pilot’s seat and inner workings of the machine. Riven opened his eyes and sprung into the cockpit as the metal closed over it.
“ADA, its good to see you.â€
Riven sprinted around the corner and was greeted with a blessedly familiar sight. A catwalk about three stories above the ground stretched across a huge garage. Next to the catwalk stood a magnificent human shaped metal machine. Jehuty. The imprinted jagged lines in its outer coating began to glow fluorescent green as soon as Riven approached. A scientist who stood near Jehuty and hadn’t noticed Riven jumped a few feet back and adjusted his glasses. Riven ran to the orbital frame, ignoring the scientist who exclaimed in surprise. Placing his hand on the cold metal of the advanced weapon, Riven closed his eyes. The same lines that glowed on Jehuty began to radiate underneath his skin also. He smiled. It was good to feel something familiar. The metal around the cockpit flowed back to reveal the pilot’s seat and inner workings of the machine. Riven opened his eyes and sprung into the cockpit as the metal closed over it.
“ADA, its good to see you.â€
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v690/Kezzie_Kaiba/Image45.png</img>
-
*Hope* - Posts: 213
- Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2003 8:27 pm
- Location: The Pirate-Ninja Moving Fortress
I am brainwashed by the eyes...Yellow eyes Wait that's Battosai.... 
still the blue eyes...
still the blue eyes...
"Foul Beast"
Jesus is the Lord of the Kings
I love hypper people
"...art can teach without at all ceasing to be art."
"Love may forgive all infirmities and love still in spite of them: but Love cannot cease to will their removal."
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
the words of C.S. Lewis "Jack"
-
starstoryteller - Posts: 172
- Joined: Wed May 19, 2004 6:51 pm
- Location: U.S.A. Washington of the town of Issaquah
I've always believed that bishies should have dreamy eyes. *fan girl sigh* I love describing eyes, they're so fun. All my main characters in stories have captivating eyes! I"ll post more soon!
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v690/Kezzie_Kaiba/Image45.png</img>
-
*Hope* - Posts: 213
- Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2003 8:27 pm
- Location: The Pirate-Ninja Moving Fortress
Eyes are the windows to the soul
"Foul Beast"
Jesus is the Lord of the Kings
I love hypper people
"...art can teach without at all ceasing to be art."
"Love may forgive all infirmities and love still in spite of them: but Love cannot cease to will their removal."
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
the words of C.S. Lewis "Jack"
-
starstoryteller - Posts: 172
- Joined: Wed May 19, 2004 6:51 pm
- Location: U.S.A. Washington of the town of Issaquah
Hi guys!! I'm really really really sorry that this is so over due. I've been gone a lot and was reluctant to log on for fear of being swamped by updated posts and new emails. Please forgive me. Here's the next segment.
A light-brown haired boy sat wearily in his desk, chin in hand, and pencil eraser tapping against the wood. He sighed for what must have been the hundredth time, wishing in vain that the last bell would ring. He’d hoped to play basketball with his brother, but it didn’t look like it’d work out in this weather. What had happened to sun? Not twenty minutes ago it’d been beaming down like no tomorrow. A voice jarred him out of his thoughts. “Mr. Hideo, for the seventh time, would you please answer number fourteen?â€
A light-brown haired boy sat wearily in his desk, chin in hand, and pencil eraser tapping against the wood. He sighed for what must have been the hundredth time, wishing in vain that the last bell would ring. He’d hoped to play basketball with his brother, but it didn’t look like it’d work out in this weather. What had happened to sun? Not twenty minutes ago it’d been beaming down like no tomorrow. A voice jarred him out of his thoughts. “Mr. Hideo, for the seventh time, would you please answer number fourteen?â€
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v690/Kezzie_Kaiba/Image45.png</img>
-
*Hope* - Posts: 213
- Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2003 8:27 pm
- Location: The Pirate-Ninja Moving Fortress
Pray do continue
"Foul Beast"
Jesus is the Lord of the Kings
I love hypper people
"...art can teach without at all ceasing to be art."
"Love may forgive all infirmities and love still in spite of them: but Love cannot cease to will their removal."
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
the words of C.S. Lewis "Jack"
-
starstoryteller - Posts: 172
- Joined: Wed May 19, 2004 6:51 pm
- Location: U.S.A. Washington of the town of Issaquah
yes this is awesome!!! it works well with my imagination some how i can see it as i read it!! i want more!!!
-
ssj2gohan61 - Posts: 769
- Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2004 10:09 pm
- Location: New Mexico
Darn it *Hope* I have drawn fanart for this story and waiting....(then agein I have had times that I had not updated my story for long peroids of times). >< oh well.
"Foul Beast"
Jesus is the Lord of the Kings
I love hypper people
"...art can teach without at all ceasing to be art."
"Love may forgive all infirmities and love still in spite of them: but Love cannot cease to will their removal."
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
the words of C.S. Lewis "Jack"
-
starstoryteller - Posts: 172
- Joined: Wed May 19, 2004 6:51 pm
- Location: U.S.A. Washington of the town of Issaquah
You can hit me if you want. It seems that I have gotten into a bad habit of not posting. So, here is the next little bit. I beg your forgiveness! *on knees* And thank you ever so much for the comments! If it weren't for the readers I would have stopped posting all together!
A cream towel wiped away the steam that had clouded on the mirror. Riven set it down and stared at the reflection of himself. His silver-white hair hung shone oddly with the light of the bathroom. Wondering blue eyes probed the face in front of them, questioning, searching. Prominent cheekbones ran smoothly into a sleek but strong jaw. It was a handsome face, something many would envy, but to Riven, it was nothing more than his face. His arms and chest were muscular but not bulky, the kind of build that comes from athletics. Reaching over to the doorknob he grabbed a white, long sleeve shirt. He pulled it over his shoulders, adjusted the collar, and did up the buttons. Laying the shirt neatly over his jeans, he flicked the bathroom light off and walked out of the bathroom. Ed was waiting with a plate of spaghetti and motioned for Riven to join him at the dining table. Riven pulled out the cherry wood chair and sat down. "I hope you like spaghetti." sang Ed cheerfully. For the first time in a long while, Riven genuinely smiled. It felt good. "I do." Ed smiled back and began to eat. Riven followed suit. The two young men made friendly conversation for a while until Ed asked a painfully simple question. "So, you used to have brown hair. Why the change? What dye did you use?" he shoveled another forkful of spaghetti into his mouth. Riven froze and turned his head down. A blush crept across his face. "I didn't." A few moments of silence passed until Ed coughed and looked at his watch. "Well, its 4:45. I'd better go pick up Caal." Riven nodded and was about to get up when a question pooped into his mind. "Is there somewhere I can lay down? I've had a…long day." Ed scooped his keys from the counter and replied, "sure, you can sleep in Caal's room. He won't mind. I'll be back in twenty minutes." Riven murmured assent and stood up as the door closed behind Ed. He made his way to Caal's room and stepped inside, not bothering to turn on the lights. It was very tidy, everything was in its place. A neatly made bead was positioned across the room from the door. Riven walked over to it and pulled back the covers. A picture caught the corner of his eye and he picked it up from Caal's desk. Two little boys with arms around each other smiled and waved to the camera. What appeared to be an amusement park bustled on behind them. Riven moved his thumb across the one on the right. He was a little brown-headed kid with beaming into the photo. Without warning, a tear slid across Riven's cheek and fell onto the glass of the frame. He was looking at a younger version of himself. A few vague memories of that trip floated in his head. He and the other little boy had begged his friend's brother, probably Ed, Riven mused, to take them on all the roller coasters and Ed had gotten sick. They'd bought cotton candy and rode the Ferris wheel at the end of the day. The whole park had been lit up like a fireworks display. Riven smiled as he remembered. Setting the picture down, he undressed and pulled on a pair of pajama pants. He settled himself under the covers and soon his breathing slowed. For the first time in a long while, Riven felt hope.
"Are you serious!" Caal exclaimed in surprise. He came to a halt in front of Renee and grabbed her shoulders. "Did they really start fighting?" Renee nodded and murmured a mmhm. Caal took his hands off his friend and they started walking again. "The Oso Corps mobile suits couldn't lay a finger on the other one." Renee informed Caal. He let out a low whistle. "So, what happened?" he questioned. "Well, the other suit just kept out of their reach. After a bit it took both of them out no sweat. I'm no expert, if you want to know more, watch the news." "Sure thing!" he replied enthusiastically. "There's Ed. I'll see ya later!" Caal ran off to his brother's car, leaving Renee to muse by herself. Just what was that mobile suit anyway? And why the Oso Corps suits engage it?
"You mean to tell me that he has no idea who we are?" Caal blurted. Today was just shock after shock. "Yep, I don't think he really knows who he is. When I called to him in the alley, he recognized his name, but I haven't questioned him further." Ed said, keeping his eyes on the road. "And you just left him at the apartment? Alone?" Ed turned to his worried little brother. "Caal, he's lost his memory, not his wits. Besides, from what I observed, he's more capable now then ever to take care of himself. He said he was going to bed." Caal calmed down a little and folded his arms across his chest. "I'll take your word. Did he look alright? Was he hurt?" Ed laughed. "Slow down with the questions. He looked fine, a little confused maybe. He's taller than you are now, and he died his hair. It's been two years, though, what can you expect." Caal sighed. "Did he mention his new foster parents?" A frown crossed the older sibling's face. "No, he didn't. I can't help but wonder what happened to him. It didn't seem like the time to push it, so I left him alone. We just talked about everyday things. By the way, I found something you might like." Ed removed the two feathers from his coat pocket and handed them to his brother. Caal's face brightened as he eagerly took the feathers and began to examine them. "Wow! These are huge! Did you see what kind of bird they were from?" Caal questioned excitedly. "I'm not so sure it was a bird." Ed answered. "What do you mean by that?" Before Ed could answer they pulled into the parking ramp. "I'll tell you later. Don't wake up Riven, he's had a long day."
So, here is the next little bit. I beg your forgiveness! *on knees* And thank you ever so much for the comments! If it weren't for the readers I would have stopped posting all together!
A cream towel wiped away the steam that had clouded on the mirror. Riven set it down and stared at the reflection of himself. His silver-white hair hung shone oddly with the light of the bathroom. Wondering blue eyes probed the face in front of them, questioning, searching. Prominent cheekbones ran smoothly into a sleek but strong jaw. It was a handsome face, something many would envy, but to Riven, it was nothing more than his face. His arms and chest were muscular but not bulky, the kind of build that comes from athletics. Reaching over to the doorknob he grabbed a white, long sleeve shirt. He pulled it over his shoulders, adjusted the collar, and did up the buttons. Laying the shirt neatly over his jeans, he flicked the bathroom light off and walked out of the bathroom. Ed was waiting with a plate of spaghetti and motioned for Riven to join him at the dining table. Riven pulled out the cherry wood chair and sat down. "I hope you like spaghetti." sang Ed cheerfully. For the first time in a long while, Riven genuinely smiled. It felt good. "I do." Ed smiled back and began to eat. Riven followed suit. The two young men made friendly conversation for a while until Ed asked a painfully simple question. "So, you used to have brown hair. Why the change? What dye did you use?" he shoveled another forkful of spaghetti into his mouth. Riven froze and turned his head down. A blush crept across his face. "I didn't." A few moments of silence passed until Ed coughed and looked at his watch. "Well, its 4:45. I'd better go pick up Caal." Riven nodded and was about to get up when a question pooped into his mind. "Is there somewhere I can lay down? I've had a…long day." Ed scooped his keys from the counter and replied, "sure, you can sleep in Caal's room. He won't mind. I'll be back in twenty minutes." Riven murmured assent and stood up as the door closed behind Ed. He made his way to Caal's room and stepped inside, not bothering to turn on the lights. It was very tidy, everything was in its place. A neatly made bead was positioned across the room from the door. Riven walked over to it and pulled back the covers. A picture caught the corner of his eye and he picked it up from Caal's desk. Two little boys with arms around each other smiled and waved to the camera. What appeared to be an amusement park bustled on behind them. Riven moved his thumb across the one on the right. He was a little brown-headed kid with beaming into the photo. Without warning, a tear slid across Riven's cheek and fell onto the glass of the frame. He was looking at a younger version of himself. A few vague memories of that trip floated in his head. He and the other little boy had begged his friend's brother, probably Ed, Riven mused, to take them on all the roller coasters and Ed had gotten sick. They'd bought cotton candy and rode the Ferris wheel at the end of the day. The whole park had been lit up like a fireworks display. Riven smiled as he remembered. Setting the picture down, he undressed and pulled on a pair of pajama pants. He settled himself under the covers and soon his breathing slowed. For the first time in a long while, Riven felt hope.
"Are you serious!" Caal exclaimed in surprise. He came to a halt in front of Renee and grabbed her shoulders. "Did they really start fighting?" Renee nodded and murmured a mmhm. Caal took his hands off his friend and they started walking again. "The Oso Corps mobile suits couldn't lay a finger on the other one." Renee informed Caal. He let out a low whistle. "So, what happened?" he questioned. "Well, the other suit just kept out of their reach. After a bit it took both of them out no sweat. I'm no expert, if you want to know more, watch the news." "Sure thing!" he replied enthusiastically. "There's Ed. I'll see ya later!" Caal ran off to his brother's car, leaving Renee to muse by herself. Just what was that mobile suit anyway? And why the Oso Corps suits engage it?
"You mean to tell me that he has no idea who we are?" Caal blurted. Today was just shock after shock. "Yep, I don't think he really knows who he is. When I called to him in the alley, he recognized his name, but I haven't questioned him further." Ed said, keeping his eyes on the road. "And you just left him at the apartment? Alone?" Ed turned to his worried little brother. "Caal, he's lost his memory, not his wits. Besides, from what I observed, he's more capable now then ever to take care of himself. He said he was going to bed." Caal calmed down a little and folded his arms across his chest. "I'll take your word. Did he look alright? Was he hurt?" Ed laughed. "Slow down with the questions. He looked fine, a little confused maybe. He's taller than you are now, and he died his hair. It's been two years, though, what can you expect." Caal sighed. "Did he mention his new foster parents?" A frown crossed the older sibling's face. "No, he didn't. I can't help but wonder what happened to him. It didn't seem like the time to push it, so I left him alone. We just talked about everyday things. By the way, I found something you might like." Ed removed the two feathers from his coat pocket and handed them to his brother. Caal's face brightened as he eagerly took the feathers and began to examine them. "Wow! These are huge! Did you see what kind of bird they were from?" Caal questioned excitedly. "I'm not so sure it was a bird." Ed answered. "What do you mean by that?" Before Ed could answer they pulled into the parking ramp. "I'll tell you later. Don't wake up Riven, he's had a long day."
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v690/Kezzie_Kaiba/Image45.png</img>
-
*Hope* - Posts: 213
- Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2003 8:27 pm
- Location: The Pirate-Ninja Moving Fortress
-
Godly Paladin - Posts: 2016
- Joined: Sun May 23, 2004 10:21 am
- Location: Missouri
Hey guys!! I have more! WOOT!! Thankies so much for the reviews! Godly Paladin, I love ur sig! Gundam SEED rocks! I just bought the CD and first disc of the anime. I already have the first volume of the manga. Well, enough about that. Here's the next installment.
A fat manila folder smacked down onto the wooden desktop. The man behind the desk pried his eyes off his computer screen and looked up to the gentlemen who'd brought him another case. "Morrison, we've got another case from the government." Morrison folded his arms non-chalantly. "I'm listening." he replied. The other man cleared his throat and opened the folder. "This one's from pretty far up the line, so you'd better do as they say. Apparently the government was about to get its hands on a top-secret weapon built by a barely legal weapons manufacturer. The manufacturer is a company called Oso Corps. Outside they deal in new inventions and such, but inside…well, you know how it goes. Any who, the scientists at Oso Corps lost the weapon and the government wants it back ASAP. Nobody's suppose to know they were dealing with an illegal manufacturer an Oso's got its own rep to keep up. Both want this done as quickly and quietly as possible, but they'll endorse pretty much anything as long as we get the weapon back to them. Now, here comes the hard part. The weapons' a seventeen year old boy." Morrison's eyebrows knit together as his partner flipped to a photo. "So, Ford, they want us to get this kid back for them before anybody finds out what's going on." Ford nodded. "However, the government's got a reason to be worried. This kid is a one of a kind break through in biological weaponry. It seems Oso Corps went all the way with this one. They infused his blood with liquid Metatron. It should have killed him. It didn't." Morrison held up a hand for Ford to stop. "You're telling me they dumped the strongest, most dangerous metal known to man into some kid's bloodstream? And he lived?!" Ford nodded. "There's more. They took the Metatron off an orbital frame. We have reason to believe that he's got some kind of 'connection' with the frame." Morrison was leaning forward and intently studying the pictures and information in the manila folder. "So," he whispered, "Just exactly what were they trying to accomplish here?" Ford bent down lower and in a strained voice replied, "I don’t know what they were initially trying to do, but they succeeded in making the human equivalent of an orbital frame. They created the strongest being on earth and we have absolutely no idea where he is. Or, more importantly, what he plans to do." A bead of sweat trickled down Morrison's face. "When do we start?" he asked. "Right now. We have some background information on the kid, who he used to be and such." Ford flipped to a page with two pictures. "Our biggest lead right now is two brothers living in the vicinity. They used to know the kid pretty well. We should start with them. We'll have to pull the younger one, Caal, out of school though." His partner nodded. "Whatever it takes. The most advanced weapon known to man is running around unhindered. At this point, I'm willing to do just about anything to get him back."
Riven's eyes fluttered open to a serene, sun washed room. His muscles tensed immediately, ready for action, but than he remembered where he was and relaxed. He snuggled back into the blankets, not wanting to lose their warmth, and emitted a small sigh. Someone was banging around in the kitchen. Riven smiled. It was a strangely comforting noise. The racket stopped and the TV started up. The channels changed a few times and finally decided on what sounded like the news. Riven tuned in to what the anchorwoman was saying. "We have some breaking news today. A seventeen-year-old boy was reported missing this morning. Riven Morin, the son of Dr. William Morin, was last seen in his father's office at Oso Corps at around ten o'clock yesterday. Police are on…" Riven froze in shock. Dr. Morin. Where have I heard that name before? His thoughts grinded wildly, trying to turn out an answer. I know! One of the scientists at Oso Corps yesterday called a man Dr. Morin. I know he's not my father, my parents are dead and… that was sudden. He smiled despite the circumstances. Maybe his memories were coming back after all. Riven steered his mind back onto the matter at hand. Come to think of it, I got out of there around ten o'clock. His eyes widened in horror and he shot out of bed. He frantically began to rummage for his clothes. They must be looking for me. I have to get out of here. Another thought hit him with such force he dropped his remaining article of clothing and steadied himself on the desk. They know! They must know about Ed and Caal. I can't let them get to any of us. He slipped his shirt on and buttoned it. He raced for the door but it opened and he crashed into Ed. Riven hurriedly backed up and tried to find a way around his friend. "Slow down, Riven. What's wrong?" Riven gritted his teeth. He could easily push past Ed but he didn't want to hurt him. He met Ed's eyes and spoke earnestly. "We have to leave. Tell Caal we have get out of here!" Ed put a hand on Riven's shoulder. "Listen, I don't know what you're talking about and Caal's at school, its nine, but I've got some good news. I found your father. He's looking for you; they have it on television. Isn't that great?" Riven lurched out of Ed's grip and stumbled backwards. "He's not my father or my foster father!" Riven watched his friend's eyes soften. "I know this must be hard and all, you not remembering anything. But we can get this all sorted out. Let's call the number they had and talk to your dad." Ed took a step back when Riven looked up at him. His eyes were wild with determination and urgency. "He'll kill you! He'll kill you and Caal and take me back there! I can't let him do that! I don't have time to explain. I'm sorry I got you into this mess but we have to go. Please, trust me." Ed swallowed hard and eyed his pleading guest. "Alright, but promise me you'll explain when there's time." Riven nodded solemnly. "I will. Where are your keys? We have a class to crash."
A fat manila folder smacked down onto the wooden desktop. The man behind the desk pried his eyes off his computer screen and looked up to the gentlemen who'd brought him another case. "Morrison, we've got another case from the government." Morrison folded his arms non-chalantly. "I'm listening." he replied. The other man cleared his throat and opened the folder. "This one's from pretty far up the line, so you'd better do as they say. Apparently the government was about to get its hands on a top-secret weapon built by a barely legal weapons manufacturer. The manufacturer is a company called Oso Corps. Outside they deal in new inventions and such, but inside…well, you know how it goes. Any who, the scientists at Oso Corps lost the weapon and the government wants it back ASAP. Nobody's suppose to know they were dealing with an illegal manufacturer an Oso's got its own rep to keep up. Both want this done as quickly and quietly as possible, but they'll endorse pretty much anything as long as we get the weapon back to them. Now, here comes the hard part. The weapons' a seventeen year old boy." Morrison's eyebrows knit together as his partner flipped to a photo. "So, Ford, they want us to get this kid back for them before anybody finds out what's going on." Ford nodded. "However, the government's got a reason to be worried. This kid is a one of a kind break through in biological weaponry. It seems Oso Corps went all the way with this one. They infused his blood with liquid Metatron. It should have killed him. It didn't." Morrison held up a hand for Ford to stop. "You're telling me they dumped the strongest, most dangerous metal known to man into some kid's bloodstream? And he lived?!" Ford nodded. "There's more. They took the Metatron off an orbital frame. We have reason to believe that he's got some kind of 'connection' with the frame." Morrison was leaning forward and intently studying the pictures and information in the manila folder. "So," he whispered, "Just exactly what were they trying to accomplish here?" Ford bent down lower and in a strained voice replied, "I don’t know what they were initially trying to do, but they succeeded in making the human equivalent of an orbital frame. They created the strongest being on earth and we have absolutely no idea where he is. Or, more importantly, what he plans to do." A bead of sweat trickled down Morrison's face. "When do we start?" he asked. "Right now. We have some background information on the kid, who he used to be and such." Ford flipped to a page with two pictures. "Our biggest lead right now is two brothers living in the vicinity. They used to know the kid pretty well. We should start with them. We'll have to pull the younger one, Caal, out of school though." His partner nodded. "Whatever it takes. The most advanced weapon known to man is running around unhindered. At this point, I'm willing to do just about anything to get him back."
Riven's eyes fluttered open to a serene, sun washed room. His muscles tensed immediately, ready for action, but than he remembered where he was and relaxed. He snuggled back into the blankets, not wanting to lose their warmth, and emitted a small sigh. Someone was banging around in the kitchen. Riven smiled. It was a strangely comforting noise. The racket stopped and the TV started up. The channels changed a few times and finally decided on what sounded like the news. Riven tuned in to what the anchorwoman was saying. "We have some breaking news today. A seventeen-year-old boy was reported missing this morning. Riven Morin, the son of Dr. William Morin, was last seen in his father's office at Oso Corps at around ten o'clock yesterday. Police are on…" Riven froze in shock. Dr. Morin. Where have I heard that name before? His thoughts grinded wildly, trying to turn out an answer. I know! One of the scientists at Oso Corps yesterday called a man Dr. Morin. I know he's not my father, my parents are dead and… that was sudden. He smiled despite the circumstances. Maybe his memories were coming back after all. Riven steered his mind back onto the matter at hand. Come to think of it, I got out of there around ten o'clock. His eyes widened in horror and he shot out of bed. He frantically began to rummage for his clothes. They must be looking for me. I have to get out of here. Another thought hit him with such force he dropped his remaining article of clothing and steadied himself on the desk. They know! They must know about Ed and Caal. I can't let them get to any of us. He slipped his shirt on and buttoned it. He raced for the door but it opened and he crashed into Ed. Riven hurriedly backed up and tried to find a way around his friend. "Slow down, Riven. What's wrong?" Riven gritted his teeth. He could easily push past Ed but he didn't want to hurt him. He met Ed's eyes and spoke earnestly. "We have to leave. Tell Caal we have get out of here!" Ed put a hand on Riven's shoulder. "Listen, I don't know what you're talking about and Caal's at school, its nine, but I've got some good news. I found your father. He's looking for you; they have it on television. Isn't that great?" Riven lurched out of Ed's grip and stumbled backwards. "He's not my father or my foster father!" Riven watched his friend's eyes soften. "I know this must be hard and all, you not remembering anything. But we can get this all sorted out. Let's call the number they had and talk to your dad." Ed took a step back when Riven looked up at him. His eyes were wild with determination and urgency. "He'll kill you! He'll kill you and Caal and take me back there! I can't let him do that! I don't have time to explain. I'm sorry I got you into this mess but we have to go. Please, trust me." Ed swallowed hard and eyed his pleading guest. "Alright, but promise me you'll explain when there's time." Riven nodded solemnly. "I will. Where are your keys? We have a class to crash."
-
*Hope* - Posts: 213
- Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2003 8:27 pm
- Location: The Pirate-Ninja Moving Fortress
ohhhh the plot thickens
"Foul Beast"
Jesus is the Lord of the Kings
I love hypper people
"...art can teach without at all ceasing to be art."
"Love may forgive all infirmities and love still in spite of them: but Love cannot cease to will their removal."
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
the words of C.S. Lewis "Jack"
-
starstoryteller - Posts: 172
- Joined: Wed May 19, 2004 6:51 pm
- Location: U.S.A. Washington of the town of Issaquah
Great job of writing on this story, Hope. ^__^ Very good!
[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE
You see into the deepest part of me ---
beyond the fog I hide behind.
You cast your light upon the shadows
that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.
You ease the pain when I am hurting,
and morbid visions from my past
pierce into the realm of Reason
as though I danced on blades of glass.
You grant me strength when I have fallen
and, once again, I've lost my way.
You take my hand in Yours and lead me
into the promise of a brand new day.
You bring order to all my chaos,
yet set my well-laid plans awry.
You place me on a firm foundation ---
then give me wings so I can fly.
You sand away my roughened edges
and polish all the dullest parts
until I stand before Your presence...
a newly-sculpted work of art.
You see into the heart within me,
right through my motives and selfish will.
And yet, in spite of all You see
You say You love me even still.
~by D.M.~
[/color][/size]
-
true_noir_chloe - Posts: 3091
- Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
- Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^
-
Godly Paladin - Posts: 2016
- Joined: Sun May 23, 2004 10:21 am
- Location: Missouri
I will make no excuses this time! None! I am a bad updater. Here is more. It is thanks to my fan support that this is still going. I have much to thank you for.
Ed pulled his car into a visitor parking space and pulled the keys out of the ignition. Riven leapt of the vehicle, making a beeline for the front doors of Mizone Highschool. Ed quickly caught up with his friend. "Do you know what class Caal's in?" Riven asked hurriedly as they approached the doors. "Nope. We'll have to ask at the office." Riven swung open the heavy steel doors with ease and started to run down the hall. "Where's the office?" Ed drew alongside and pointed to a door just down the hallway. They reached it and Riven quietly opened the doors, drawing the attention of the two students and several secretaries inside. He was trying to hold his urgency in check, fearing he'd alert someone to the fact that something was wrong. They strode quickly up to the front desk. "Excuse me, ma'am. I need to talk to Caal Hideo. Can you tell me what class he's in?" he asked politely. The plump woman at the front desk looked up from her computer screen. She had outrageously styled hair, so overly curled and crimped it looked fake. Her cat eye glasses framed dull, droopy eyes, with which she regardless them annoyingly. She looked extremely bored. "I'm sorry. Mizone Highschool does not release student information to anyone but legal guardians." she replied in a nasal voice. Her expression never changed. Riven was about to give her a second chance, but a better opportunity presented itself. The office doors flew open and two policemen, guns raised, moved in. One of the girls in the office gave a squeak. Both officers trained their guns on him as soon as they saw him. "Sir, please come with us." Were they kidding? There was no way Riven would even consider it. "I'd rather not." he replied dully. "I'm afraid that's not an option. We're under orders to do whatever it takes to bring you in." answered one of the men. "Figures." Riven mumbled. With lightning speed that gave neither man time to react, he launched himself at the first man, grabbing his arms and bringing them over his head as both of them tumbled to the ground. The other policeman lowered his gun, unable to shoot because his buddy blocked his aim. As Riven and the man rolled in a somersault he twisted the man's arms around and grabbed his gun, finishing by rolling off the top of him and into a standing position, gun trained on the second man. Hardly having time to react, the other police officer shot, but missed Riven by a good breadth. Riven rolled to the side and landed in back of his opponent. As the man turned around Riven dove into him, knocking both of them to the floor, one of the officer's arms pinned beneath him. The man tried vainly to grab Riven's gun but Riven snatched the officer's arm free arm and pressed a thumb to a certain spot on his neck, causing the man to pass out. He leapt up nimbly, all of the action happening in the space of a few seconds. Ed stared open-mouthed at him. Riven drew the gun up and pointed it at the secretary, his voice coming out in a low whisper. "Let's try this again. Where is Caal Hideo's class?"
Riven sprinted down the hall, his gun held in both hands and pointed towards the floor. Ed was panting somewhere behind him. Riven skidded to a halt in front of the door and slammed a booted foot into it. Ed watched in disbelief as the metal hinges bent and almost gave way. Riven spun around swung his elbow into the door and sent it flying into the opposite wall of the classroom. Someone screamed from inside. Ed grabbed the doorpost to steady himself and watched as Riven calmly entered the room, gun visible to all.
Caal was startled out of his trance-like state when a thud and a groaning noise came from the class room door. It bent sharply inward and almost fell through. His teacher jumped back and stifled a scream. Someone to his left shrieked as the door came flying across the front of the room and crashing into the wall. Th teacher stared wide-eyed at the demolished door and than turned slowly to the door frame. A figure stood in the shadow of the doorway. It stepped into the room and the light and Caal tumbled out of his chair in shock. His best friend, the one he hadn't seen in two years, walked to the center of the room, a gun in his hand. Caal's own brother leaned in the doorway. Caal wasn't sure why he'd thought his friend would be the same old Riven. The young man in front of him was a completely different person. He was taller by a good six inches than he'd been before, with a good deal more muscle. His hair was silver-white, and just a bit longer than it had been, sweeping down into his eyes. His face had lost any remaining childish pudginess; it was leaner, sleeker, and smoother, just like the rest of his body. And there was a hardness to him, something that wasn't like him at all. He held the gun like he knew how to use it; his stance was the stance of a fighter, confident and ready. When he spoke, his voice was deeper also, unbroken and rich. Was this the same youth Caal has known those two years ago? "I need to speak with Caal Hideo. Its very urgent." Caal stood up and made his way around his frightened classmates to his friend.
Ed pulled his car into a visitor parking space and pulled the keys out of the ignition. Riven leapt of the vehicle, making a beeline for the front doors of Mizone Highschool. Ed quickly caught up with his friend. "Do you know what class Caal's in?" Riven asked hurriedly as they approached the doors. "Nope. We'll have to ask at the office." Riven swung open the heavy steel doors with ease and started to run down the hall. "Where's the office?" Ed drew alongside and pointed to a door just down the hallway. They reached it and Riven quietly opened the doors, drawing the attention of the two students and several secretaries inside. He was trying to hold his urgency in check, fearing he'd alert someone to the fact that something was wrong. They strode quickly up to the front desk. "Excuse me, ma'am. I need to talk to Caal Hideo. Can you tell me what class he's in?" he asked politely. The plump woman at the front desk looked up from her computer screen. She had outrageously styled hair, so overly curled and crimped it looked fake. Her cat eye glasses framed dull, droopy eyes, with which she regardless them annoyingly. She looked extremely bored. "I'm sorry. Mizone Highschool does not release student information to anyone but legal guardians." she replied in a nasal voice. Her expression never changed. Riven was about to give her a second chance, but a better opportunity presented itself. The office doors flew open and two policemen, guns raised, moved in. One of the girls in the office gave a squeak. Both officers trained their guns on him as soon as they saw him. "Sir, please come with us." Were they kidding? There was no way Riven would even consider it. "I'd rather not." he replied dully. "I'm afraid that's not an option. We're under orders to do whatever it takes to bring you in." answered one of the men. "Figures." Riven mumbled. With lightning speed that gave neither man time to react, he launched himself at the first man, grabbing his arms and bringing them over his head as both of them tumbled to the ground. The other policeman lowered his gun, unable to shoot because his buddy blocked his aim. As Riven and the man rolled in a somersault he twisted the man's arms around and grabbed his gun, finishing by rolling off the top of him and into a standing position, gun trained on the second man. Hardly having time to react, the other police officer shot, but missed Riven by a good breadth. Riven rolled to the side and landed in back of his opponent. As the man turned around Riven dove into him, knocking both of them to the floor, one of the officer's arms pinned beneath him. The man tried vainly to grab Riven's gun but Riven snatched the officer's arm free arm and pressed a thumb to a certain spot on his neck, causing the man to pass out. He leapt up nimbly, all of the action happening in the space of a few seconds. Ed stared open-mouthed at him. Riven drew the gun up and pointed it at the secretary, his voice coming out in a low whisper. "Let's try this again. Where is Caal Hideo's class?"
Riven sprinted down the hall, his gun held in both hands and pointed towards the floor. Ed was panting somewhere behind him. Riven skidded to a halt in front of the door and slammed a booted foot into it. Ed watched in disbelief as the metal hinges bent and almost gave way. Riven spun around swung his elbow into the door and sent it flying into the opposite wall of the classroom. Someone screamed from inside. Ed grabbed the doorpost to steady himself and watched as Riven calmly entered the room, gun visible to all.
Caal was startled out of his trance-like state when a thud and a groaning noise came from the class room door. It bent sharply inward and almost fell through. His teacher jumped back and stifled a scream. Someone to his left shrieked as the door came flying across the front of the room and crashing into the wall. Th teacher stared wide-eyed at the demolished door and than turned slowly to the door frame. A figure stood in the shadow of the doorway. It stepped into the room and the light and Caal tumbled out of his chair in shock. His best friend, the one he hadn't seen in two years, walked to the center of the room, a gun in his hand. Caal's own brother leaned in the doorway. Caal wasn't sure why he'd thought his friend would be the same old Riven. The young man in front of him was a completely different person. He was taller by a good six inches than he'd been before, with a good deal more muscle. His hair was silver-white, and just a bit longer than it had been, sweeping down into his eyes. His face had lost any remaining childish pudginess; it was leaner, sleeker, and smoother, just like the rest of his body. And there was a hardness to him, something that wasn't like him at all. He held the gun like he knew how to use it; his stance was the stance of a fighter, confident and ready. When he spoke, his voice was deeper also, unbroken and rich. Was this the same youth Caal has known those two years ago? "I need to speak with Caal Hideo. Its very urgent." Caal stood up and made his way around his frightened classmates to his friend.
-
*Hope* - Posts: 213
- Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2003 8:27 pm
- Location: The Pirate-Ninja Moving Fortress
45 posts •
Page 1 of 2 •
- 1
- 2
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 256 guests