Billy the Llama

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Billy the Llama

Postby Ducky » Sun Oct 17, 2004 9:22 am

I've been wanting to post something in this forum but none of my stuff is complete yet and I have a tendency to scrap things so I figured I would wait. But now I have a nice little short story to post. It's intention is to be funny.

The story behind the story: my roommate wanted me to talk to one of her friends online. The friend asked for a story and I wrote Billy the llama for her. She laughed, and Roommate laughed and I know my little sibs would have laughed because I honed my children's story skillz on them ;) so anyway maybe it will make you laugh ... I'll stop rambling now though :sweat: .

There once was a lama named Billy. And Billy the llama liked lima beans. But the lima beans that Billy the llama liked only grew in Lima Brazil. So Billy the llama went to Lima, Brazil to get the lima beans he loved. And on the way he met a large bird and the large bird swallowed Billy the llama and took him to Lima, Brazil (you might know this bird as an air plane) and dropped him off by a field of lima beans.

So Billy the llama gathered bushels of lima beans which he then shipped by boat to his home in Long Island. Then Billy went home too, and he had lots of lima beans. He was happy ... he was so happy that he threw a party.

All of the llamas who were any llama had to attend ... and the only food Billy had in the house was his precious lima beans so he gave them to his guests.

The party was a huge success. Everyone loved Billy and agreed that he threw the best parties. But when Billy went to get his lima bean breakfast the next day ... he opened the pantry door expecting a plentiful array of Brazilian beans...but instead he saw....

Nothing...the cupboards and the pantry and even his secret snack stash ... were bare! All of the lima beans were gone. Billy realized that his house guests had eaten them all.

Billy the llama was very sad. He was sad and alone and lima bean-less.
But he thought that, surely, all of his friends would help him. They had loved him at the party so they must be willing to come and keep a sad and lonely llama company in his low times.

So Billy waited all morning for one of his friends to call. Then he called them. But everybody was too busy for Billy.

Now, you might believe that they were llama jerks.... and that's what Billy thought. All of his friends had deserted him now that things were going badly. He sat in his big empty lima bean-less house and cried his little llama heart out.

So Billy the llama was crying with no lima beans and all alone
He cried and cried and cried until his TV notified him that there was a flood warning for his area. So Billy the sad llama left his house ... and then there was a flash back....

One time long ago (llama’s have a poor short-term memory and it was really only a few days before Billy left to go to Lima, Brazil)


Billy had had one little bag of lima beans left and he had been walking home in the rain when he saw a little mouse hiding in a corner crying....
Feeling bad for the sad mouse Billy asked what was wrong.

"I am hungry and I don't have any food," the little mouse replied. Billy thought lovingly of his last few lima beans... but he couldn't just deny the sad mouse, so he gave him some lima beans.

The little mouse was so happy he hugged Billy and told him that he would never forget his kindness.

Then the flash back ended and Billy was fleeing the flood

Billy had to leave Long Island... but there were two problems. For one it was an island...and two it was long....

Now Billy was a smart llama so he knew he couldn't walk away from an island and even if he could it was too long. Thus, he did the only sensible thing he could ... he ran around in circles. But, being the intelligent llama that he was Billy realized that this was not very productive so he came up with a better plan … he ran in squares!

Well, Billy probably would have drowned all by himself with no friends and more importantly no lima beans if something amazing hadn't happened.

Through the flooding streets came a raft and on the raft there was a horde of little brown things. And they were squeaking ... Billy the llama marched resolutely in squares ignoring the rising water and lamenting his lost lima beans.

The raft bumped into Billy. Billy scowled at the raft, “please move,â€
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Ducky
 
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Postby Jaltus-bot » Sun Oct 17, 2004 9:40 am

Cool. Llama's are awesome.
When I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Asdvadz hedut ullah! (W. Armenian, "May God bless you!")

It's cosplay, get used to it.

"A hero need not speak. For when he is gone, the world will speak for him."

"One of the nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind." Colbert
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Postby Anna Mae » Fri Oct 22, 2004 5:51 am

I laughed out loud at the kiwi part. I have no idea why, because I usually tend to be stoic. Maybe it was because it was completely unexpected. Anyway, nice story.
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]

[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
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