This is one of my poems. It is getting published. The rest of my poetry is ar ktm52drummer.deviantart.com
Silence
Some people can't stand the noise. I can't stand the silence. The haunting appeal. The crippling fear. The creature waiting for me to make my last move. It aches at my soul. It tears at my mind. The ghastly pain hiding in the noiseless terror, the terrible sounds of nothingness. My God, the silence. All bundled up into a cesspool of torture. The calm before the storm. The perfect stillness before my ultimate demise. The false sense of peace will break into terror beyond my wildest imagination. And I can do nothing to stop it. The silence. My God, the silence.
My poem.
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My poem.
"Relax, turn around, and take my hand." Tool
"Heir Kommt Die Sonne." Rammestein
"Now the world is gone, I'm just one. Oh please God help me." Metallica
"Are You Ready?!?" KoRn
"All and all your just another brick in the wall." Pink Floyd.
The downfall of society will be society itself.
Rap is the malignant tumor of the music industry.
I HATE LINKIN PARK
"Heir Kommt Die Sonne." Rammestein
"Now the world is gone, I'm just one. Oh please God help me." Metallica
"Are You Ready?!?" KoRn
"All and all your just another brick in the wall." Pink Floyd.
The downfall of society will be society itself.
Rap is the malignant tumor of the music industry.
I HATE LINKIN PARK
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PumpkinKoRn52 - Posts: 457
- Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2004 6:43 pm
- Location: Way Down South
I'll take comments on this.
"Relax, turn around, and take my hand." Tool
"Heir Kommt Die Sonne." Rammestein
"Now the world is gone, I'm just one. Oh please God help me." Metallica
"Are You Ready?!?" KoRn
"All and all your just another brick in the wall." Pink Floyd.
The downfall of society will be society itself.
Rap is the malignant tumor of the music industry.
I HATE LINKIN PARK
"Heir Kommt Die Sonne." Rammestein
"Now the world is gone, I'm just one. Oh please God help me." Metallica
"Are You Ready?!?" KoRn
"All and all your just another brick in the wall." Pink Floyd.
The downfall of society will be society itself.
Rap is the malignant tumor of the music industry.
I HATE LINKIN PARK
-
PumpkinKoRn52 - Posts: 457
- Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2004 6:43 pm
- Location: Way Down South
I like it. It's a style of poetry I haven't seen before, but it fits.
I look forward to reading more of your works.
This is a great opening. It grabs your attention.Pumkin wrote:Some people can't stand the noise. I can't stand the silence.
The rythm of this part is very appealing to the senses. The pattern is good.Pumkin wrote:The haunting appeal. The crippling fear. The creature waiting for me to make my last move. It aches at my soul. It tears at my mind. The ghastly pain hiding in the noiseless terror, the terrible sounds of nothingness.
Interesting use of the word "cesspool." I really like this part. Excellent.Pumkin wrote:My God, the silence. All bundled up into a cesspool of torture.
The repetition is well placed.Pumkin wrote:The calm before the storm. The perfect stillness before my ultimate demise. The false sense of peace will break into terror beyond my wildest imagination. And I can do nothing to stop it. The silence. My God, the silence.
I look forward to reading more of your works.
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]
[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
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Anna Mae - Posts: 1663
- Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 5:43 am
- Location: Brazil
Thanks.
"Relax, turn around, and take my hand." Tool
"Heir Kommt Die Sonne." Rammestein
"Now the world is gone, I'm just one. Oh please God help me." Metallica
"Are You Ready?!?" KoRn
"All and all your just another brick in the wall." Pink Floyd.
The downfall of society will be society itself.
Rap is the malignant tumor of the music industry.
I HATE LINKIN PARK
"Heir Kommt Die Sonne." Rammestein
"Now the world is gone, I'm just one. Oh please God help me." Metallica
"Are You Ready?!?" KoRn
"All and all your just another brick in the wall." Pink Floyd.
The downfall of society will be society itself.
Rap is the malignant tumor of the music industry.
I HATE LINKIN PARK
-
PumpkinKoRn52 - Posts: 457
- Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2004 6:43 pm
- Location: Way Down South
Sure thing.
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]
[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
-
Anna Mae - Posts: 1663
- Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 5:43 am
- Location: Brazil
A well done poem. I like the descriptions and the rythm. Anna Mae's descriptions are my ideas as well. Good work.
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mastersquirrel - Posts: 696
- Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2004 10:55 am
- Location: I saw a squirrel! ...... It was going like this!!!
Thanks again.
"Relax, turn around, and take my hand." Tool
"Heir Kommt Die Sonne." Rammestein
"Now the world is gone, I'm just one. Oh please God help me." Metallica
"Are You Ready?!?" KoRn
"All and all your just another brick in the wall." Pink Floyd.
The downfall of society will be society itself.
Rap is the malignant tumor of the music industry.
I HATE LINKIN PARK
"Heir Kommt Die Sonne." Rammestein
"Now the world is gone, I'm just one. Oh please God help me." Metallica
"Are You Ready?!?" KoRn
"All and all your just another brick in the wall." Pink Floyd.
The downfall of society will be society itself.
Rap is the malignant tumor of the music industry.
I HATE LINKIN PARK
-
PumpkinKoRn52 - Posts: 457
- Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2004 6:43 pm
- Location: Way Down South
Hey, that's really cool! ^_^
A lot of times, I can't take the silence either!!!
A lot of times, I can't take the silence either!!!
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone
And so hold on when there is nothing left in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!' ...you'll be a Man, my son!
Rudyard Kipling
Satan, bite the dust!
"You are not who your mistakes say you are; you are not the sum of your failures!"---Rev. Billy Miller
Proverbs 18:24
To serve your turn long after they are gone
And so hold on when there is nothing left in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!' ...you'll be a Man, my son!
Rudyard Kipling
Satan, bite the dust!
"You are not who your mistakes say you are; you are not the sum of your failures!"---Rev. Billy Miller
Proverbs 18:24
-
Ssjjvash - Posts: 1073
- Joined: Sat Aug 07, 2004 3:16 pm
- Location: I abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
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