YOU GUYS DONT UNDERSTAND ME! NO BODY DOES! I`M SO ALONE AND CONFUSED! I MEAN COME FREAKING On! All i DO IS HALUSINATE AND WRITE! YOU GUYS WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND MY COMPLEX MIND! I DO EDIT MY WORK! I DO RE READ MY THINGS!
I DO READ ALOT OIF STUFF! <snip> I EVEN READ GRAYS ANATOMY!! I`M SO CONFUSED I CAN`T TAKE IT ANYMORE!<snip>
OldPhil says:
I understand you are frustrated, but watch your mouth. Hiding your intent behind a few asterisks is not appropriate on this board.
Jade and Japher...
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... I'm sorry... but if you wanted people to read and give their ideas about this... your above post turned most of them off.
Frankly, as much as I love you as my brother in Christ, I do understand. I know what it feels like to be alone. I know what it feels like what it feels like to be confused. I know what it feels like having a complex mind. Telling me that I don't understand insults me.
And now, chances are, you risk being banned from this site - unless you edit the above.
Also, sir, threatening to leave this site because people don't review your story is childish. I trust that you are more mature than that.
My tolerance goes pretty far, but you are pushing me. I don't sit down every day and read fanfiction-type writing. In fact, when I see such writing, I stop reading and move on. I have to be in a very good mood in order to finish a story like that - and lately, with all the stresses on me, such a mood is rare. Now, granted, you have a unique set of characters in a unique situation - but the way you have written your story has been done before, and that way is sub-par. As an addendum, splitting a story up into episodes and acts is meant for screenplays. And this is not a screenplay.
My suggestion to you: Review how you've been writing. I don't mean to push you away from writing - I highly encourage it. However, if you want to make your stories known to the public, please go beyond the basics of storytelling. If you don't care for mimicking "good" internet authors, pick up a book (preferably one that is not young adult or children's literature), and start writing your stories like they do. It sounds like I'm bursting your creative bubble - but really, if you think about it, you're more creative when you try to fit your story to a mold that's been proven tried and true. Rewrite your first saga like that, and repost it. You don't have to redo all of them at once. Hopefully, by the time your rewritten saga comes forward, I won't be worrying about college applications. And, even if I'm not done with my applications, I will be more than willing to read a story that's easier on my eyes and mind. Instead of throwing fits in my chair over what I deem "bad writing", I'll give much better reviews.
Yes, I do give out better reviews. I pay more attention to little details than worrying about the big picture - and right now, you have made me more worried about the big picture.
I apologize if I came off as harsh. But my patience is tried, and my tolerance is strained.
I believe you are intelligent. You can do what I have suggested. So, instead of throwing a fit on this forum, perfect your writing. Otherwise, don't expect a review from me until after Christmas. I'm sorry, but that's usually when I'm in a better mood, and my tolerance will be much higher then.
Frankly, as much as I love you as my brother in Christ, I do understand. I know what it feels like to be alone. I know what it feels like what it feels like to be confused. I know what it feels like having a complex mind. Telling me that I don't understand insults me.
And now, chances are, you risk being banned from this site - unless you edit the above.
Also, sir, threatening to leave this site because people don't review your story is childish. I trust that you are more mature than that.
My tolerance goes pretty far, but you are pushing me. I don't sit down every day and read fanfiction-type writing. In fact, when I see such writing, I stop reading and move on. I have to be in a very good mood in order to finish a story like that - and lately, with all the stresses on me, such a mood is rare. Now, granted, you have a unique set of characters in a unique situation - but the way you have written your story has been done before, and that way is sub-par. As an addendum, splitting a story up into episodes and acts is meant for screenplays. And this is not a screenplay.
My suggestion to you: Review how you've been writing. I don't mean to push you away from writing - I highly encourage it. However, if you want to make your stories known to the public, please go beyond the basics of storytelling. If you don't care for mimicking "good" internet authors, pick up a book (preferably one that is not young adult or children's literature), and start writing your stories like they do. It sounds like I'm bursting your creative bubble - but really, if you think about it, you're more creative when you try to fit your story to a mold that's been proven tried and true. Rewrite your first saga like that, and repost it. You don't have to redo all of them at once. Hopefully, by the time your rewritten saga comes forward, I won't be worrying about college applications. And, even if I'm not done with my applications, I will be more than willing to read a story that's easier on my eyes and mind. Instead of throwing fits in my chair over what I deem "bad writing", I'll give much better reviews.
Yes, I do give out better reviews. I pay more attention to little details than worrying about the big picture - and right now, you have made me more worried about the big picture.
I apologize if I came off as harsh. But my patience is tried, and my tolerance is strained.
I believe you are intelligent. You can do what I have suggested. So, instead of throwing a fit on this forum, perfect your writing. Otherwise, don't expect a review from me until after Christmas. I'm sorry, but that's usually when I'm in a better mood, and my tolerance will be much higher then.
Chibi Overlord says: Dance! Dance! Revolution!
Serving Jesus Christ, the ultimate revolutionary.
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antefurem - Posts: 97
- Joined: Sun May 30, 2004 4:15 pm
- Location: The Valley of Humility
.....you don`t know me.....and...you still don`t understand me..... all the stuff I`ve seen.... you most likely won`t get....I have one hint..... do you like to play with dead people.... I do....take that.....cause you know what.... I don`t care....ban....me....because you guys have gave me nothing but a hard time....yuo guys have barley gave me anything good....all you guys have done was ay bad things about my writing..... and I`m tired of it. You guys don`t show me any respect....at all.... so ban me....do it so quickly....I`m tired of being patent for all of you....you guys have shown me nothing...at aLL.... I thought you guys could be my freinds....but you guys have been my enemies all along....hey...I bet you all want to killl me.... I bet you guys have guns at your house....ready to take me and my family away....I bet you guys have a tank....ready to bomb my house..... why do you want to kill me? Is it becuase I don`t post on here....is that is? well...it doesn`t matter....cause....I`m giong to be a published author....I might not make it....but...I`M giont to do something with my life..... you guys are dead beats.....and I `m so sorry for that...You see, I feel alittle crazy....my mind is twirling around..... I feel funny...... I just want to go to heaven....and be happy..... IT THAT SO MUCH TO ASK!!!....... goodbye.....little children..... :
- Japher
- Posts: 35
- Joined: Sat Sep 11, 2004 8:37 pm
And what about all the good?
"Little children"?
...
You are better than this. You can rise above this. Do something with your mind other than what you're doing now!
"Little children"?
...
You are better than this. You can rise above this. Do something with your mind other than what you're doing now!
Chibi Overlord says: Dance! Dance! Revolution!
Serving Jesus Christ, the ultimate revolutionary.
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antefurem - Posts: 97
- Joined: Sun May 30, 2004 4:15 pm
- Location: The Valley of Humility
My friend, nothing here has been a personal attack. Any criticism given here has been for constructive reasons, to help you to improve and grow. Rule number one for the artist, never let pride get in the way when your work is critiqued, always take advantage of suggestions to improve unless it is something that goes against your intent or original idea, and, with the online medium, you must have patience, as hard as it may be, because people will have real life responsibilities that will trump online. Antefurem has tried her best to help, but school trumps the internet anyday.
That being said, having briefly looked over your first saga, have you considered studying script writing? If this is indeed like Dragonball, writing for easy translation to a visual medium would be prime, plus I think that it may be slightly easier for you.
If however you wish to continue with your current style, I would really looke into Antefurem's suggestion. Her suggestions have been for your good all along, I beg you not to take them for personal attacks. Be well friend and grow, and if you need anything, just ask or PM.
That being said, having briefly looked over your first saga, have you considered studying script writing? If this is indeed like Dragonball, writing for easy translation to a visual medium would be prime, plus I think that it may be slightly easier for you.
If however you wish to continue with your current style, I would really looke into Antefurem's suggestion. Her suggestions have been for your good all along, I beg you not to take them for personal attacks. Be well friend and grow, and if you need anything, just ask or PM.
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R. Zion - Posts: 436
- Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2004 2:35 pm
- Location: Spring Grove, PA
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