Brand Spizzankin' New Poem

Unleash your creative writing skills here.

Brand Spizzankin' New Poem

Postby Rachel » Sun Apr 03, 2005 4:48 pm

Hey everyone, boy it's been a while since I posted a poem on here. Anyways, here is one that I finally finished just a few days ago. It's different from most of my other ones (read: not depressing) , so I hope y'all will still enjoy it.

Unspoken Lullabies

Yesterday I said hello and
I wanted you to hear just how I feel
through words I cannot say
and though there are none to let you know
I wrote a song for you today
and I played it till my fingers bled
and this bullet that I'd take for you
will be melted down into a cage
that will not let me go
that will not let me speak
what you have never known
and what I have never said
is that I would die a thousand times
to be free of this cage
and be able to say these words
instead of just hello
:rock: I mourn for those who never knew you



Click here for kick booty music!!

American by birth, Texan by the grace of God


This is where you can find me if I'm not on for a while
User avatar
Rachel
 
Posts: 1056
Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2003 10:00 am
Location: Wichita Falls, Texas

Postby Angel37 » Sun Apr 03, 2005 5:54 pm

Wow...since when did you know my life like that? I like!
<3 Angel
User avatar
Angel37
 
Posts: 1238
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2004 10:00 am
Location: Illinois

Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Sun Apr 03, 2005 7:29 pm

i like that!
User avatar
Mr. SmartyPants
 
Posts: 12541
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 9:00 am

Postby Photosoph » Mon Apr 04, 2005 12:45 pm

Very deep and meaningful. Excellent.
(0)>
((_\//
mm

[Quote=Photosoph]Well, t'was a good deduction, Mr. Holmes! *salutes Mr. Myoti Sherlock Homes* [/QUOTE]
Myoti wrote:Elementary, my dear Watsoph. XD

\(^_^)/
Still in rest and recovery mode. Posting may be sporadic at times. :pinned:
User avatar
Photosoph
 
Posts: 1528
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2005 8:32 pm
Location: Kiwiland... fighting for mankind in the battle of human vs. sheep.

Postby true_noir_chloe » Mon Apr 04, 2005 12:49 pm

Wow, this break from writing you took did wonders. I'd say this is your best work so far, Rachel, my friend... sorry, my homefry. ~_^

Please, write some more. ^______^

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
User avatar
true_noir_chloe
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

Postby Danyasaur » Mon Apr 04, 2005 1:17 pm

wow. . . it's like you know what I've been trying to express but have failed at misserably a thousand time and you wrote it down on paper, thank you, I needed that ^_^ you did a wonderfull job
[color="DimGray"]I don't believe that I would die if I saw you face to face;
but that my spirit would become so alive it took my body's place.

- Danya[/color]
User avatar
Danyasaur
 
Posts: 875
Joined: Thu Nov 06, 2003 5:06 pm
Location: On the road where potholes come to die.

Postby Rachel » Mon Apr 04, 2005 4:54 pm

Thanks, y'all. I should have a new one up in a few days. I have a few lines running around in my head right now and I just need a few more and then I can write it down. Until then, I guess y'all can just read this one again. Haha. Bye for now.
:rock: I mourn for those who never knew you



Click here for kick booty music!!

American by birth, Texan by the grace of God


This is where you can find me if I'm not on for a while
User avatar
Rachel
 
Posts: 1056
Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2003 10:00 am
Location: Wichita Falls, Texas

Postby Icarus » Mon Apr 04, 2005 9:33 pm

Good one, Rachel.
The Forsworn War of 34

††
User avatar
Icarus
 
Posts: 1477
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2003 5:00 am
Location: 34

the stars

Postby Rachel » Sun Apr 10, 2005 5:13 pm

Okay, here is the poem that I just finished today. I don't know if it makes much sense so I may rewrite it sometime. Or I might not. I don't know, I'm always second guessing everything I write. Anyways...here it is.

Your eyes draw me in
and I am hypnotized
by the music of your osng
and your shining light
and I am melting
not even the stars
could shine so brilliant
and make me lose myself
to all that I have known
and all I have longed for
was found in their beauty
that no one has believed
the stars and how they shine for me
in the night sky
and sing their beautiful song
that makes me forget where I am
that makes me want to forget
and never remember again
:rock: I mourn for those who never knew you



Click here for kick booty music!!

American by birth, Texan by the grace of God


This is where you can find me if I'm not on for a while
User avatar
Rachel
 
Posts: 1056
Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2003 10:00 am
Location: Wichita Falls, Texas

Postby true_noir_chloe » Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:17 pm

Wow, another great poem, Rachel! ^_______^ Keep 'em coming, like fries at a McDonalds. ~_^

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

[/color][/size]
User avatar
true_noir_chloe
 
Posts: 3091
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^

Postby Rachel » Fri Apr 22, 2005 4:42 pm

I'm not a very big fan of the fries at Mickey D's. hehe. Thanks, Chloe. I'm sort of working on a new one now so maybe it should be up in a few days.
:rock: I mourn for those who never knew you



Click here for kick booty music!!

American by birth, Texan by the grace of God


This is where you can find me if I'm not on for a while
User avatar
Rachel
 
Posts: 1056
Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2003 10:00 am
Location: Wichita Falls, Texas


Return to Writing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 343 guests