Chapter one, section one

[K. Ayato]

I'll warn you. I used one swear word in this section (something I'd never done before). Please don't lock this thread 'cause of it. Ok, here goes.

Dawn had not yet broken. Several hours had yet to pass before the first rays of sunrise stretched their rosy fingers across the sky. Until that time arrived, the land of Kenton and its inhabitants still lay in peaceful slumber. Save one--a native from one of the villages. A young man, whose current state of sleep was a far cry from peaceful.
Tarrin thrashed upon his bed and moaned. His sleep was filled with diverse scenes and events, images, and faces. In his dreamlike state, Tarrin could make out the form of a young woman in the distance, appearing to be near his age of twenty-three. She was on her knees, her back facing what Tarrin perceived to be the entrance to a cave. He couldn't see her face, but Tarrin could clearly see her long auburn tresses flowing behind her in the breeze. Her clothes, including the dagger sheathed at her hip, gave Tarrin every indication that the young woman was a warrior, and also of a nonhuman race.
As Tarrin watched, entranced by the sight of this strange creature, she suddenly clutched her sides and doubled over. Mumbling in her own tongue, which Tarrin could not interpret, she looked as though she were overcome with great pain or intense sorrow. Even then, it more than Tarrin could bear and he started towards her. "Is something wrong? Is there any way I can help you?" he called out.
He was almost near the maiden when the sky immediately darkened and the young woman was now nowhere to be seen. Tarrin stumbled in the shadows, blindly groping around to find his way to a source of light once more. Without warning he felt his wrists and ankles being bound in chains and secured to a stone table serving as an altar. Finally, the darkness began to fade and Tarrin could now see that he was surrounded by strange beings, both male and female. Looking up, he could make out unusual rock formations and smoke tendrils that emerged from a deep chasm in the earth. Faint yellow light danced around the rocks and the smoke, casting eerie shadows. The beings circling the altar were chanting a phrase foreign to Tarrin's ears, yet still making his blood run cold.
The beings then halted, and another female emerged from the shadows, dressed in tribal clothing with her hair hanging wild. In one hand she held a long knife carved from bone. Tarrin stared at her face and soon recognition dawned and he gasped in horror. The maiden was the same one he had seen earlier outside the cave. Her face showed no emotion whatsoever and her eyes glowed fiercely with the light bouncing off her surroundings. Tarrin felt cold sweat trickle down his neck as he watched the maiden raise the knife with both hands high above her head, then swiftly plunge it downward into Tarrin's bare chest...
"No-o-o-o-!!" he screamed, waking instantly and sitting up in his bed. Gasping for breath, Tarrin laid a hand against his bare chest and felt for a wound. Finding nothing, he willed himself to calm down. "Just a nightmare," he whispered. "Nothing more."
Wearily, Tarrin fell back against his pillow and closed his eyes again. Howbeit his sleep was now stolen from him. In the span of about two hours he lay there in silence, trying to coax both mind and body to completely relax so he could reclaim the slumber he needed. Breathing an exasperated sigh, Tarrin sat up again and stretched. He then slid out of bed and walked over to his window and peered outside. Kenton was still shrouded in darkness, but now Tarrin could see forms of trees, rocks, and other objects. If he didn't hurry, he'd miss his favorite part of the day: watching the sunrise. Dawn was almost here, he mused.
"****," he cursed under his breath. Tarrin quickly snatched a clean tunic and set of breeches, grabbed his boots and favorite walking stick, and dashed outside towards his favorite place: a clearing located just at the edge of the forest. About halfway towards his destination was a hot spring. Good, Tarrin though as he drew near. No one else was around. Laying his bundle and walking stick within easy reach, Tarrin stripped off his sweatsoaked clothing and slid into the spring, allowing the hot water to ease the tension out of his body. Leaning against a flat rock, Tarrin closed his eyes and sighed. But not for long. Remembering he was on his way to see the sunrise, he pulled himself out of the water, dried off, and dressed quickly in the clean bundle he brought with him. Grabbing his walking stick, he continued on his way.
Once he had finally reached the forest clearing, Tarrin halted and turned his face to the east. At last, dawn's rosy fingers began to penetrate the land that only hours before was shrouded in a blanket of night. Tarrin's dark eyes drank in the sight before him, noticing splashes of color in places that were once shades of black. To him, it was always a remarkable sight, since he had watched the sun peek over the horizon for as long as he could remember. Even at his age, Tarrin could never bring himself to start his daily routines without watching the spectacular view of daybreak.
The distinct sound of footsteps paired with a voice calling his name gave Tarrin clear evidence that he was no longer alone. A shiver ran down his back. Surely the voice wasn't Jorell's. His brother, a year his junior, had long looked down upon Tarrin's morning ritual.
"Tarrin," the voice called out again. This time there was no room for doubt. Someone was nearby, and getting closer. Fearful for his life, Tarrin ran back home, not once looking back over his shoulder.

[ShiroiHikari]

hey, not bad. your description is pretty good, I got a nice mental picture of the scene.

[Kaori]

Several hours had yet to pass before the first rays of sunrise stretched their rosy fingers across the sky.

This phrase reminds me strongly of The Odyssey, but it is a good description nevertheless. The chapter in general contains quite a bit of strong descriptive writing.

This chapter makes a good opening—the dream scene is very evocative, and you leave off on a nicely suspenseful note. Both of these things help draw the reader into the story]I'll warn you. I used one swear word in this section (something I'd never down before). [/quote]
Are you aware that there is a censor in effect? If you do include swear words in your story, they will simply be replaced with asterisks, so there is no need to worry about people seeing them.

[K. Ayato]

I forgot about the censoring. Either way, I probably won't use those kinds of words anymore. I'm still working on the next section, by the way.

[Stephen]

You are very descriptive with your writing. I myself try to do that with my work...so I notice it. Very good. Someday I might post some of my stuff on CAA....maybe. ^^