I'm finaly ready to tell you about my past...I am no longer afraid of judgement.

[bakura_fan]

Well, I don't know where to start exactly. I guess it all started with my beginning Running start. For those who don't know, Running start is a program for Highschoolers (grades 11-12) to start college early. Things were going ok during the first quarter....but later it got to me. The hatred for everything I was going through. Eventualy my parent's got to me so much that I thought of killing them or havign something happen to them.

I don't know exactly how, but I eventualy started to turn to the dark side *yes....-_- I sound like some Star Wars side story* Whether or not you'll beleive my story is up to you. I will tell it as I can remember it happend. I started to turn away from God without realizing it. All I wanted was revenge against my parents. I sat on my bed and yelled at God a lot as well. Then one day I heard a voice speak to me. It was calm and soothing. I looked toward the direction of the voice and saw *yes I did say "saw"* a figure walkign toward me from the hallway. A good looking young boy....but I was trying to figure out what the heck he was....I knew it wasn't human. I asked who he was. He replied "lucifer". I asked him what he was doing in my room and that he had no right there. He told me that he just wanted to be my friend and help me through my life. I asked what he meant. He reminded me that everytime I had trusted God my life was difficult, and how could someone loving give me such problems. He promised that if I trusted him and gave him a chance, life would be a bit easier. He also promised me power *which...at the time didn't seem so bad*. I asked him how he could grant me these things. He smiled and told me that he was sending servants for me to rule over and who would obey me. Sounded good. I agreed.

I didn't feel much different. In fact I thought the whole thing was a dream. A few days later though I felt about three distinct presences. I could tell that they had arrived. I really didn't care much or do much with them and hid my thoughts from friends and family. No one ever knowing my siding with Lucifer. I knew that I would be bugged if anyone knew. One thing that I made perfectly clear to lucifer and the three helpers was that they were to never harm my friends and they weren't to do a thing to my parent's outside my approval. They agreed and I was happy. This went on for about a year and a half.

Then....I happened to get a PM on here from someone I didn't know at all. The PM had one question "Where's Anacortes?".....I looked at the username to see where they were from. "Swordguy....hm....doesn't say where he's from....." So I wrote back with what my mom had told me. Eventualy we started talking via AIM....but something inside of me made me hate him so much. Everytime he brought up God I'd get mad for no reason whatsoever. It didn't help when we started talking via microphone....then he kept singing praises. Oh man...I could feel anger and hatred for him constantly growing, but at the same time I didn't want to leave. I made myself stay and talk with him. Eventualy I told him the things that had gone on. You may recognize this prayer request of his....
http://www.christiananime.net/showthread.php?t=12634
yup....he was talking about me.
Also, during this time my visions increased. I've noticed now that whenever I've had some sort of spiritual struggle I've had visions that somehow tie in with what's going on. My biggest vision had Bakura....the thing is....it was actualy Lucifier disguised as Bakura. He was holding me back from the light in the middle of the storm and dragging me away from the storm. I faught him and told him to go away. I ran toward the light. After the vision I felt a bit better....but still soemthing was eating at me.

After many headaches I was able to ask Swordguy what I had wanted. "Is it possible for one to be possessed without knowing it?" We determined that yes it cou happen and I was possesed....At this time I was having a hard time keeping my bad self at bay *now Iknow how Ryou feels with Bakura. @_@*. Swordguy after much struggle with hs own need to have faith told the demon to leave me...two words MAJOR HEADACHE! It felt like an explosion in the back of my head. I felt free-er though.....

After this experience I constantly struggled with trusting God. My first major step was to finaly give in to what God wanted and get baptised *which was the first time I met Swordguy. And a little later I gave into what I head feared and broke up with my boyfriend. It was hard, but I knew that in order for both of us to grow in Christ, we couldn't stay in that relationship*.

Then just constant falling and getting up and growing after that. A few months after getting unpossessed I was tired but it was too bright so I decided to take a nap in my walk in closet. I turned the light off grabbed a blanket and pillow and attempted to sleep. Well, after a few minutes I felt a chill and then I heard an echoey voice of a little girl....then of a man....then of an old lady....then another man....then screams....then maniacal laughter. I was so scared that I quickly got up and out of that closet. A little later I went back and I felt those same three presences. I told them to leave...and they just laughed. I don't remember when they finaly left or why....but they're gone now.

Just last February I invited Swordguy to Winter camp and a few days after Winter camp we became boyfriend and girlfriend. ^_^ As I look back at everything, I see how foolish I was and how good God is to allow me to make my mistakes, but also to help me out of the holes that i had dug. I know I'm still growing, and I will always be growing. I know I have changed, and I also now feel as if God can use me the way He intended. I am glad that I am a Christian and I hope to please God in every aspect of my life. I want to follow His call. One of my fears...which I am not struggling so much with anymore....was what I knew He wanted me to do. He has called me to teach His word. My problem....I can't speak well....I get very nervous when I have to speak to a group....or make a presentation. But I know that God is there for me and will walk with me and help me.

For those of you who read through this whole thing.....I applaud you. Most don't really want to read so much. So I thank you for taking your time to read through my testimony. If you'd like to ask any questions, go ahead. I don't mind one bit. ^_^

[Mr. SmartyPants]

that is... really... wonderful! I don't know much to say... other then wonderful! ^^;;

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

Wow Bakura! You've been through a fair bit of spiritual warfare! This is really inspirational. Thanks for taking the time to post. I'll pray for you. God Bless!

[Hoshika]

Wow, you are one of the few people I've actually gotten to talk to that really had to deal with evil spirits face to face. You're awesome for overcoming that! Praise God. I'll be praying for. Take care.

[skynes]

I believe you.
I understand how easy it is to slip into resentment and hatred and how easy it is to be controlled by them, you will get no judgment or condemnation from me.

I also understand that fear of speaking. I'm not what you would consider a 'people person' despite having giftings involving people. I don't like speaking in groups or presenting anything either, but I continually find myself in positions where I need to! Thankfully God gives everything we need to accomplish His calling.
You being unable to speak well, when you do teach and God lets you speak perfectly, it testifies of His power and glorified Him more than you being able to speak on your own.

I'll be praying protection for you, that these demonic forces never return.

[bigsleepj]

Egads.

I believe you, and that is saying something, I'm can be cynical at times - too cynical and occasionally pessimistic for my own good and I approach a lot of things with a weary frown. But I felt that you were speaking the truth - people don't make up stories like that (if they do for the sake of a joke they're usually very over-done in a silly Contantine fashion). Yours actually sounds realistic. Immediately my mind kept telling me you're telling the truth.

I'll be praying for you that this nightmare never returns. And I'm happy that you found yourself out of that terrible abyss.

-Johnnie

[Syreth]

Thank you for sharing your story! It was a great blessing. Will be praying that the Lord would bless your calling to teach His word. It seems like you have the gift of discernment of spirits. We both have similiar pasts. Press on towards that which is ahead -- the upward call of Christ Jesus.

[dragonshimmer]

Thanks for sharing, Bakura, and I'm very glad that God sent you someone to help you through all of this!! Praise God!

[FadedOne]

*hug* I read all of that, and yeah...like BigsleepJ, I tend to be total skeptic, but yeah....I believe you. So glad you're free of that. It's amazing what anger/hate and such emotions can unleash eh? Had a bit of a deal with that myself. take care....keep strong. I'm proud of how far you've come from reading this.

[AngelSakura]

Wow, poor Teej... I'm glad things have gotten so much better now.

[bakura_fan]

I'm glad that you believe me. the saddest thing I guess for me...is that I told my parents about it...asked for forgiveneness...but they told me that it wasn't possible for me to be possessed and for me not to tell another soul about it *meaning chrisitains* because they (the people I told) would hate and resent me and treat me like I had a disease. I'm not sure if they beleive me yet...or if the just play along when I talk about it. But I'm glad that you believe me. And I'm sure one day they will too.

Thanks for the support, for also without CAA, I don't know where I'd be. ^_^

[bakura_fan]

well, yes I believed I was a Christian. It was about a little over halfway through.

[skynes]

A Christian can have anything they invite into their lives.

I do not hate you.
I do not resent you.
I do not think you have a disease.

It is unfortunate that a lot of Christians would think those things, I hope that noone here would.

I have never been in such an extreme position, but I have had my thoughts messed with to the point that my actions are not me. Whether it was my following the thoughts or being controlled or something else I don't know.
All I know is that a Christian can have whatever they let into their life, but it doesn't have to stay, because Christ is stronger and greater.

[SquareEnixGamR]

huh??? i know tons of christians who hated everything before they were saved, including myself. that doesnt mean you were possessed. be careful that youre not trying to get attention, because God knows if you're lying or not. sorry if this came out rude, i wasnt trying to be.^-^

[skynes]

I think she was referring to arrogant Christians... You know the kind that if you say anything or do anything outside their little box they pounce on you beat condemnation round your face and proclaim that you are not a Christian? Yeah those guys...

[Swordguy]

She is not lyeing, honestly i don't know how addement i would be to believe her had i not been invovled, and you are right there are a lot of people out their who hate, and she is not saying those who hate aere posessed, she was saying that is what the devil used to have her open up to him.

[bakura_fan]

Allright...time to gravedig my own thread for an update.
My friend kathy's brother in law came over last sunday, and the most amazing thing happened. I felt like telling him (who at the time was like an aquantince) about my spiritual past. Well later he and kathy came down to the motel that I work at and I showed him the drawing that I had done awhile back of how satan appeared to me. Well, he said he got goosbumps because every thing that I had drawn about his appearance was exactly how he had seen him at one time too. Also I drew quick sketches of the demons as well and he immediatly recognized them. I went home thinking how much better I felt having such a confirmation that I'm not crazy. Then the next day I talked to him and he told me how by seeing the drawing how it confirmed for him that he was not crazy either. He's been dealing with this stuff since he was 7. poor guy. But he is being used in such a wonderful way for Christ now that he is *much* older. Anyway, thought i'd share it with you guys. ^_^

[K. Ayato]

*Hugs* I'm glad you were able to share this. Quite a battle you had going on! Thank the Lord He brought you through!

[Sheenar]

Thanks for sharing your story Bakura! It's always amazing to hear how God is working!
Don't worry about not being able to speak well --Moses couldn't either and God definitely used him! (Now I'm not saying you'll be Moses, but just using him as an example...) God will equip you for the work He has for you...

[Gabriel 9.0]

I'm glad to hear God saved yet another soul. Congrats.

[Etoh*the*Greato]

Quite an amazing story! I believe you, and I'm glad that God has come through fo ryou.

[Sanji07]

That's amazing. I believe you 100%. ^_^ To be honest, I'm glad that there are people like you that believe in visions and dreams. Even if your parents really don't believe you, remember that God does. He's always by your side, no matter what happens. =D

[PSA374]

God is good all the time, no matter what happens to you.
He always thinks well about you(Psalm 138) , and Since we are living in the dispensation of Grace remember that Jesus loves you always....
We all should thank God for the grace and love He placed in your life