A Raven's Tears

[true_noir_chloe]

This is a good section, Kneko. I think you prefer that name to Kawaii, right? I really do think this is very good.

I'm so glad the death and destruction is over for awhile. I still can't believe you killed off Thatia, and now you've killed a helpless little creature like Kirin. It's just so.... sad.

[Kawaiikneko]

Somehow I've come to the conclusion that you're rather upset over Thatia... my apologies *hands tissue* XD

I hope to finish this story soon... in fact, I feel like typing right now, so off I go. Thanks btw ^^

[insanewitapen]

YAY! *luvs you forever* keep going!

[true_noir_chloe]

[i]Somehow I've come to the conclusion that you're rather upset over Thatia... my apologies *hands tissue* XD

Thank... you...

I'll eventually get over Thatia. Thanks for the tissue.[/i]

[insanewitapen]

Moooreee Teee~! >xo ^_^;

[Kawaiikneko]

slooooooowwllyyyyy....

and you're lucky... I give you early updates over aim XD and you give me opinions

[Kaori]

My current situation (having regular internet access) is only temporary, but I was glad when I returned to see that you have written a new chapter.

As usual, you have several nicely-turned descriptive phrases throughout the chapter. The opening sentence is one example; I also liked the analogy of the crowd parting like the red sea.

In scenes like Cree’s fight with Phyr, you do a very good job of portraying the tension and emotion of the situation. Although the feelings Cree experiences (in the story in general) are often very extreme, they are appropriate given the extreme circumstances Cree faces.

With the reappearance of Cree’s copy of the Holy Writings, I am interested to see whether they will make a tangible difference in Cree’s life, and how you will portray the change if there is one. The story continues to be very engaging for me; after nearly a month’s absence, I did not have trouble remembering the events of the previous chapter, and I am curious about future plot developments—I find myself wondering how Cree will be able to get out of her present difficulties.

[Starfire1]

Yes! an update! and another great one at that. *sniffle, grabs tissue* poor, poor, poor Thatia and Kiryn...they shall be missed. I haven't read in nearly a month or maybe more but surprisingly enough all the previous events came back to me. *envies your writing talent*

[Kawaiikneko]

ah thank you both of you! Kaori nice to see you again and thanks for remembering me ^^ I printed out what I have so far for the story, which is 50 pages, and I was editting it a little on the way to and back from camp. 12 hours in a car can make you bored after all ^^; I might have a little more to update with but I think it's only 3 or so pages printed out. But! After being away from my computer for a week and after reading it so many times, I think I want to type a little more. I'm sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I'm so lazy in typing regularly. But its wonderful to know some people are still checking up on me ^^

[Kawaiikneko]

Cree yawned lazily as she stretched her way out of her sleepy state. She had fallen asleep sometime in the early hours of the morning, but Cree had finally found peace in the situation. Even though she couldn’t see how it would happen, Cree had faith that the Creator knew what He was doing and He could use this in His plan. Now all she could do was wait and be ready to join Him in it.

As footsteps neared her, Cree took a deep intake of breath, not the smartest thing to do when wrapped in a soot covered blanket. She hunched over in a spasm of embarrassing coughs while the figure bent over slightly and offered a bowl of soup. When her coughs subsided Cree looked up thankfully, reaching for the bowl. Instantly she froze.

The blanket slid back on Cree’s head a bit since her grip had loosened and Aethiel recognized her instantly. The elf must have jumped at least a foot backwards, possibly not on purpose, and the steaming soup from the bowl sloshed out onto Cree’s outstretched arm. With hurried steps he began striding away. Hissing a bit and shaking her hand frantically, Cree stared in annoyance after him.

“What? Are you planning to burn me and starve me now?â€

[Kawaiikneko]

~*~

Compared to the rest of the town, the shaken house where Cree now sat was relatively well preserved. Despite this, somehow it made Cree sick to her stomach. Here was where all the people of higher social standing in the city had gathered. Here in a nice, comfortable house. Of course, it still smelled of smog and carnage just like the rest of the city, but no one was packed together in inhumane clusters. From the corner where Cree huddled in a disgruntled ball her eyes flickered over the mourning women and the men who comforted them.

While Cree felt sorry for them, at the same time she couldn’t help but be astonished. Who did these people think they were, gathering comfortably here while normal people stayed mashed inside a grungy shadi barn? The way the town was now, everyone should have been equal in worldly wealth. Why then did these people continue to insist that they deserved better?

Sighing, Cree rested her head in her arms, watching the room warily through one eye. The high priestess and several men and women were talking lividly about something. Cree strained her hearing to pick out what they were saying from the other voices in the room.

“…does seem to be the best choice at the moment,â€

[Kawaiikneko]

There... short little update. Sorry it couldn't be more ^^; I'm going very slowly... *sigh*

I expect to be near the end soon btw ^^

[true_noir_chloe]

This is a really great update, Kneko! I'm so happy.

Your dialogue flows really well and the story is moving along at a good pace to keep my attention. I can hardly wait to find out what happens next.
u(*o*)z *patiently waits with a cup o' coffee*

[Kawaiikneko]

XD I love that little face! Even if I don't drink coffee.

Thanks ^^

[Starfire1]

Wow. Is it even possible for Aethiel to have a heart? I felt every bit of emotion in the last chapter. It's like I could hear Cree shouting at the priestess and Lady Sarai and everyone.

[Kawaiikneko]

well it's quite possible for everyone in my story to have a heart ^^ Maybe just not towards Cree... >.>

Thank you sooo much for the comment~ It makes me feel very good about my writing ^^

[Kawaiikneko]

A person from Faalen did indeed come the next week, although Cree never found out if it was a winged one or not. The minute the official arrived Cree had been scurried off first to the servants’ quarters and then to whatever low place the official would never dream to look. She had gone along with it reluctantly because there wasn’t much she could do short of escaping her hiders and jumping up and down in front of the Faalen representative to explain everything.

Once the representative had left, the town returned to its unofficial shunning of Cree. No one acknowledged or spoke to Cree, unless she told them something important, and then they only replied with a brisk, snappish manner. Cree had become considerably used to it for it was better than being glared at even if it was most disconcerting.

A good bit in the situation, however, was that Cree’s father hadn’t shown up for about three weeks. Cree dutifully reported this to the priestess, who was staying longer than she had originally planned due to the situation at hand. As three weeks was usually the minimal amount of time between his visits, Cree expected him any day.

However another week ground on, and then another, and he never showed up. Surprised and delighted, Cree continued to report to the priestess, all the while wondering what the woman would make of the situation.

Over the month of the shadowbeing’s apparent absence the townsfolk – those who hadn’t left – had relaxed a bit. The city’s rebuilding was well underway and nearing completion. With everyone working together, and using the money and supplies provided by Faalen, everything was going smoothly. At first Cree had insisted that she help, but that idea had been slapped down so fast, Cree barely had time to blink. Instead she watched the efforts from a small window in the hallway in which she had taken up residence.

It was on one such occasion, when Cree was watching, with amusement, two children trying to “helpâ€

[Kawaiikneko]

As Cree was squeezing her eyes shut, surrounded by too many people to notice much else, a much bigger mass than the feather dropped out of the sky into the town. The woman pulled out of her dive at the last second, beating up dust with her wings as she landed gracefully in the gap provided by astonished mothers clutching their children away from Cree.

“What is going on here?â€

[Kawaiikneko]

Well there it is ^^ I hope the ending wasn't too abrupt or cliche or cheesy... I'm probably going to write a short epilogue type thing yet, because I have a few ideas left... And then its on to editting~ woot! I've never finished a story before... this is nice ^^

[Felix]

Rock on! *high-fives* I feel dumb for not reading it yet. I'll have to print out what I haven't read yet with the other comp.

[insanewitapen]

YESH YESH YEEESHHH! XD *hugs the story and you* *** I LUV IT! *hughughughug* ooo an epilogue would be cool. *bounce* I luv it! Now you can work on your other one more! XD

[true_noir_chloe]

This was a great ending! *cheers* *throws confetti* *bakes a cake for all who have read this great work*

^_________^

I bet your mom just loves this story and is very proud of your fantastic writing skills. This was really well done. I look forward to any other stories you have.

[Kawaiikneko]

>.> Actually she hasn't read it ^^; yet, I suppose. I'm not so sure if I'm gonna write an epilogue anymore... I was planning to have one last part years later where she goes back to the town to get her guardian's blessing for a marriage. She doesn't technically have to, but its like... a proper thing to do (or something). She would meet Phyr (who had opened a sewing shop admist the chaos of rebuilding) and Aethiel, who apologizes for years ago, and is very surprised when her fiance shows up.

Thats really all I have, and since its just fluff I probably won't write it (unless it starts flooding my head and I have to get it out on .doc). So there you go, she and Phyr make up and Phyr is alright and Cree is alright ^^

[Starfire1]

*sigh* The ending was beautiful. You did well at not making it corny (I'm a bit challenged with that) I'm kinda sad to see that it's done because I really did enjoy it. Ok if you don't do the epilogue but you had some good ideas for it. I'll keep lookin for more work from you have more posted here. God blessed you with a lot of writing talent, keep using it.

[Kawaiikneko]

Don't worry ^^ This is actually a sort of sidestory set in the world of my bigger story. Its in major planning and revision (of what I've written so far) at the moment, but I hope to post some of it soon.. maybe ^^; I really need to get it all straight in my head first

[Kaori]

Since I have only limited internet access, I will keep my comments brief.

As always, your portrayal of Cree's violent emotion is very well done. She has made a great deal of progress during the course of the story, and it is good to see that she has grown enough to be able to forgive the people who have hurt her so badly.

I loved the ending of your story. I did not expect it to end the way it did, but you did a good job of tying up some of the loose ends--it was gratifying to see the winged one from Cree's childhood finally reappear. The black wings are both suitable for Cree's personality and reminiscent of the earlier scene where she wears a pure black dress to the ball. I also particularly liked the way the final line of the story explains the title; that was nicely done.

Congratulations on finishing the story; I enjoyed reading it, and I would love to read the larger story, should you choose to post it here.

[Myoti]

Sorry, I'm not usually one for a lot of words, but wow. This is very well written and I didn't find the ending "cheesy" at all. Well done.