Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

[Solid Ronin]

A fierce kick sends a pervert flying unto the side of a New York building. The battle is taking place in a dark trash strewn alley perfect for crime. The battle isn't so much a battle as it is a beating and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Raphael is doing the beating.

Raphael: RAAAGGHHH!!!

A powerful right spinning roundhouse sends the second thug to the ground and Raphael begin mounted punching.

Raphael: *thinking* Am I going to far?

Thug 2: stop please ahh!!

A punch interrupts him up

Raphael: *thinking* These men..not that they deserve the title...would have molested that girl if it hadn't been for me.

Raphael see the girl in the corner of his eye. She scared and who could blame her not everyday that your about to be molested and a walking taking turtle ninja or rather ninja turtle comes to your rescue.

Raphael: *thinking* She couldn't be over fourteen.

The first thug gets up and Raphael hears his foot step over the second thug plea's for mercy. Raphael rises in a hurry knowing the thug will try to charge him..and he dose.

Thug 1: AHHHH!!

Raphael quickly reaches for a sai. He draw it up side down and aims for the thugs neck.

Raphael: RAAAAGGHHH!!

It makes contact.

Raphael: Am I going to far??........

Special thank to:
Kevin B. Eastman and Peter A. Laird and to all who encouraged me to write

Story my
Eric Gonzales

[Razgriz]

Very good action sequence, I like it! Of course everyone knows Leo is the coolest, lol.

[Solid Ronin]

Very good action sequence, I like it! Of course everyone knows Leo is the coolest, lol.

It was originally going to start out with Leo but thought this sence was more powerful

[Bunny]

I agree with Sangoku. It has nice action description but you may want to go back and quickly check your spelling and tenses. I think you may have left out a word in some places too, so be careful of that! Keep it up!

[Solid Ronin]

I thought so put i kept the sence in my head therefore to excited to think about my typing thank you bunny

[Razgriz]

It was originally going to start out with Leo but thought this sence was more powerful

I agree, it was, I was being kidding too, lol.

Some questions (based on Ronin's request, and I think I'd like to know as well)

1. What is the theme of the story...where do you want to take the viewers?

2. What do you want to give the viewers in this story?

3. What kind of interpretation is this story based on the Ninja Turtles (as in, how are the characters or situations similar or different than the comics)

[Solid Ronin]

I agree, it was, I was being kidding too, lol.

Some questions (based on Ronin's request, and I think I'd like to know as well)

1. What is the theme of the story...where do you want to take the viewers?

2. What do you want to give the viewers in this story?

3. What kind of interpretation is this story based on the Ninja Turtles (as in, how are the characters or situations similar or different than the comics)

1.Well thier isnt so much a theme as of now but for now I guess id would be Life as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

2. and 3. A better look at the TMNT coming from a Fan who has been a fan since 2 I want to show a more pure form of the TMNT to CAA not a chopped up version like the first cartoon where they loved Pizza etc.

good questions

[Solid Ronin]

On that note when anyone pictures theme characters in my story ALL TMNT must have red bandanas as they did in the orignial comics

[CobaltAngel]

Good action scene, lol. ^^;;; I used to write in this format too, but your work does tend to get more respect if its not written in "play" format. *shrugs* Doesn't really bother me, tho.

[Solid Ronin]

does it??? really??? im serious. I didnt know people actually gave respect to my work

[uc pseudonym]

Different question. Are the weapons Raphael wields called sais? I've been curious about that.

[true_noir_chloe]

I'd take Bunny's advice. It's nice. ^_^ I also want to comment that I prefer a script format for this rather than strict prose for this particular section of your story.

Oh yeah, and I think Raphael did use sais. But, it's been a long time since I watched the show.

[Solid Ronin]

Yes they are sai's

[Solid Ronin]

check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out

Whoa check it out my new title that is

[Solid Ronin]

Different question. Are the weapons Raphael wields called sais? I've been curious about that.

thanks for checking out my story Master but I curious to know what you thought of it

[CobaltAngel]

Hehe, you mean your user title?

[Solid Ronin]

oh no its a title given to me by Queen Ashley

(which means I PM'ed her and begged for it)

[uc pseudonym]

Thanks. I've been wanting a character of The Fall to use them, but it's obnoxious being unable to refer to them by a name. Now to get to work...

[Solid Ronin]

Me??

[Solid Ronin]

*Disclaimer*
Violence 3 of 5

Leonardo, the "leader" of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, is meditating. He is well disciplined in the art of ninjitsu..but we already new that. He is on a rooftop smelling the New York air which is almost clean due to a strong draft. However he is not meditating on that ,as rare of a thing it is, he is on the topic "what do we do now".

Leonardo:*Thinking* The Shredder is dead......our purpose for living..now gone?? Did Master Splinter just use us?? Use me?? NO!! Master Splinter loves us it is a honor to serve him and more of a honor for him to love us.....................

Leonardo break his meditation by a noise. His eyes are still closed but he can see him as clear as day light. However he can't see what the person is doing besides walking and Leo hears him stop right behind him. A then a song of warning comes only to Leo's ears.

Leo bends forward to evade a sword slash aimed at his head. He rolls to dodge downward slashes. He gets to his feet to were he's only to the waist of his attacker. The attacker slashes with all his might to the right but Leo ducks. The attacker is now wide open for a counter attack.

Leonardo: FOOL!!!

Leo draws his left katana with haste which split seconds later leaves a deep cut on his enemies throat.

Leonardo: Foot..

Leo sees three other Foot ninja across the roof. One armed with a chain about 10 feet long another a halberd ( it an Axe but more staff like) and the last is not armed.Leo holds his Katana in a ready position.

The unarmed foot comes charging.

Foot: FOR THE MASTER!!!

Leo takes a shrunken from his belt and throws it at the charging foot hitting him in the face.

Leonardo: Is that the might of the Foot clan?

The other two foot charge. The ninja with the halberd attacks first with a thrust. Leo easily knocks the strike aside and gives a high kick to the ninjas face knocking him to the ground. Leo finishes him with a stab to the chest. Leo pulls the blade out now covered with blood.

Leo turns his attention to the last foot but is too last to evade his attack. Leo is smashes across the face with the ninja's chain. The ninja tries to bring the chain back to him and is successful. However he fails to notice Leo dashing toward him. Leo beheads the ninja with a single stroke.

Leo wipes his blade with a piece of paper he had within his belt. Then slides the katana back in its sheath


End

Story -
EMG


EDIT: I suck at grammar I hope this is better

[Solid Ronin]

coming up next

My name is ?????????

[Razgriz]

I think it's good, very realistic combat scene. Some spelling and punctuation errors here and there but it didn't detract from the scope of what you're telling for me at least, good job.

[Solid Ronin]

I really suck a grammar...thanks San

[true_noir_chloe]

I totally agree with Sangoku. ^_^

[Solid Ronin]

thanks

[uc pseudonym]

Yes, the combat was good. You've obviously improved. I think if you just read over the story, you'd notice some things that could easily be made better (just your standard grammar issues).

[Solid Ronin]

*shakes violently* errrrrrr grammar

[Solid Ronin]

Coming up Next in G writing

TMNT 3

Zion ( ITS VIOLENCE TIME)

The Fall of The CAA Islands

Yasai

[cbwing0]

Good story. The action scenes are well done, and it will be interesting to see how you develop the potential conflict between Splinter and the turtles. The grammar could use some improvement, but that can be fixed with time and proofreading.

[Solid Ronin]

thanks ,yeah ill get someone to bo some claen up work in it