How the Apocalypse Can Make You Lose Your Job

[Kanerou]

[Quote=UC Pseudonym]“Thou shoudst bet it ain’t!” the nearest figure said. “You fools shant reach yonder crib! We be the Olde English Gangsta’s, yo!”[/Quote]

Oh, my.

[meboeck]

Wow. That ending is indeed excellent. I always look forward to reading this. It will be sad when it's over.

[uc pseudonym]

I have both halves of the coming "Opposing Viewpoints" article. Would you like them now or when I manage to get the others? Not that they are actually related to one another.

Oh, my.

These are my favorite characters to write. They can't play much role in this story, so I had to pack their lines.

[Icarus]

Oh, my.

Word.

I have to say, UC, that has to be the best mixture of Ebonics and Olde English I've ever read.

[TurkishMonky]

fo shizzle! that wert amazing.

[Zarn Ishtare]

I fear that an important issue is being forgotten here....Namely, Pancakes. YES! While Nepublican politicians debate the ethical values of Waffles, and Remorats accept the Waffle community into their party, Pancakes are out there, conquering and reprogramming the weakened minds of our disenfranchised youth, corrupting the morals of our great country! We must act now, before Pancakes are also given prefered status, before Pancakes are looked at as better than the average breakfeast delight, before there are more Ihops than Burger Kings! (As everyone knows, Burger King is our protector against the pancake menace)

So please, Join the Cereal party today, and now matter if you are a Count Chokulen, a member of the Church of cherrios, or even a strange man who eats gram crackers with milk, you will help us fight the ongoing war against Pancakeism!

*Paid for by Friends of Breakfeast Cereal President Tony (the Tiger)

[Zarn Ishtare]

Note: I did not mean the above post to have such a current issues flavor to it, but thats what happens when you drink soda and stay up till three a.m. with a fever.

[Maledicte]

There is sarcasm as well. As my sensei used to tell me, ‘Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can slice your soul into tiny pieces.’ It is a dangerous combination.

That phrase reminds me of a Monty Python sketch about the Piranha brothers, one of whom struck terror into his victims through use of sarcasm.

Vercotti: I was terrified of him. Everyone was terrified of Doug. I've seen grown men pull their own heads off rather than see Doug. Even Dinsdale was frightened of Doug.
Interviewer: What did he do?
Vercotti: He used sarcasm. He knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire.

LOVE ye Olde Englifh Ganftaf, I'm tempted to quote their lines in my sig.

[uc pseudonym]

I have to say, UC, that has to be the best mixture of Ebonics and Olde English I've ever read.

Truly, these are words every author longs to hear.

Note: I did not mean the above post to have such a current issues flavor to it, but thats what happens when you drink soda and stay up till three a.m. with a fever.

You are in violation of the No Pancake Debate Rule, young man.

That phrase reminds me of a Monty Python sketch about the Piranha brothers, one of whom struck terror into his victims through use of sarcasm.

I haven't seen it, but it sounds interesting.

LOVE ye Olde Englifh Ganftaf, I'm tempted to quote their lines in my sig.

That would be especially funny without any explanation whatsoever.

[Kanerou]

These are my favorite characters to write. They can't play much role in this story, so I had to pack their lines.

Oh, nothing against them. I'm just in shock, per se. I can't find the words to describe that bit.

[Icarus]

LOVE ye Olde Englifh Ganftaf,

I'd always thought it was every other 's' that looked so.

[oro!]

Wow! How do you get your inspiration. This is a very funny story, although it kinda seems like some late-night thoughts. The Olde English is what caught me.

[Pent]

Wow. I just discovered this story. It's always interesting to read a story that is written in a way I've never read before. Truely unique. I've never encountered such...I don't know. A new form of humor. I'll have to use around my friends a little.

[uc pseudonym]

Thank you both. Meanwhile, I'm sort of surprised the next paper hasn't come out yet (delayed, no doubt, by spring break). I have three things to post whenever it does.

How do you get your inspiration.

I have no idea. I typically write it in the early afternoon, not under the influence of caffeine, sugar, or anything illegal. My initial thought was the image of Bartholomew working at a fast-food restaurant and saving the world in a shrugging sort of manner; the first sentence came to me early on as well.

Everything else is just assorted things I found funny and stuck together. For example, I made the elf/elv distinction while thinking about how Tolkien hated "elves" and insisted the plural should be "elfs." The Olde English Gangstas came into my head with the thought that it'd be funny to combine archaic language with eubonics.

[Kanerou]

Everything else is just assorted things I found funny and stuck together. For example, I made the elf/elv distinction while thinking about how Tolkien hated "elves" and insisted the plural should be "elfs." The Olde English Gangstas came into my head with the thought that it'd be funny to combine archaic language with eubonics.

Yeah, the Olde English Gangstas thing was great. I was wondering myself why you hadn't posted the next one yet. Can't wait 'till it comes out.

[Ratrace]

You keep mentioning "eight". Now, two words, sequel please. In dayly webcomic form so we dont have to wait so long. Keep ye olde eubonics coming.

[Kanerou]

He can't 'till those things come out, I believe.

[uc pseudonym]

That is correct. And finally (last night) the 7th issue came out. So this long overdue chapter shall now be posted...

-

Segment 7: Night of the Living Cliffhanger

“Prithee speak, fool, or we shalt open a can upon thine hindquarters!â€

[uc pseudonym]

Also, for added enjoyment, here is the contrasting viewpoints column.

The 60 mph Speed Barrier

Pro:

Since the dawn of time men have used tools to go beyond their natural capabilities. Cavemen used rocks to do things their hands could not; Galileo used a telescope to challenge the standing beliefs about the heavens; men invented cheesy fries to clog arteries faster than ever before… always technology continues to advance, doing things that were previously thought impossible.

Yet now, at this advent of a new era, many try to pull back technology. They claim that it is impossible for men to move as fast as or faster than 60 miles per hours. This is clearly ignorant of the true scientific facts. With the proper safeties and innovations, human beings can safely move at high speeds and open a wealth of new possibilities for our world (namely, what the scientific community generally refers to as “going really fastâ€

[meboeck]

[quote]At that instant the sphere in his hands collapsed with a distinct “poikâ€

[uc pseudonym]

That is also one of my favorite sentences. It is good to know that type of thing is appreciated.

The mix of language is just brilliant and that switch-lance is sheer genius.

Thanks. I was trying to decide what abilities they should actually have (because in all honesty I hadn't even given it any thought) and that came up first.

[Maledicte]

[quote]“Knave!â€

[Pent]

I'm gonna get myself a switchlance!

[Raiden no Kishi]

More random brilliance. And I'm going to guess that you wrote the Pro column, for reasons I am not eloquent enough to put into words. I have a 50-50 chance anyway (unless a third writer has been called into play and it is, in fact, a trick question).

.rai//

[uc pseudonym]

Once again, thank you all. I have no real idea when the last paper will come out, but given that there are a fairly limited number of weeks left in this school year, it can't be that long. I'll find a way to update this one final time during the finals crunch.

And I'm going to guess that you wrote the Pro column, for reasons I am not eloquent enough to put into words. I have a 50-50 chance anyway (unless a third writer has been called into play and it is, in fact, a trick question).

That would have been devious indeed. However, there is no trickery involved here, and you are correct.

[Icarus]

Blue speed sounds like something you would come up with.

[Ratrace]

Some people have all the talent. I figured the pro column was yours at the cheesy fries.The con just wasnt unexpected in any way.

[kryptech]

LOL concerning both the serial craziness and the 60 mph article. Excellent stuff in both.

[Kanerou]

[quote="UC in Chapter Three"] “I’m sorry, did you just correct my grammar? What are you, an English major?â€

[Radical Dreamer]

Hahahaha! I just started reading this today, and I must say, I absolutely LOVE it! As you can see, two of my favorite lines are already in my signature, the latter of which had me crying from laughter. XD The humor is pure genious, and it's an original idea, to say the very least. Fantastic job, I love it!!