Not one of my normal poems, to be sure.....
"Of Peace"
A little land of dreams awaits.
In it you doze and configure
The length of the stars,
the memories of the past.
Lying there, helpless,
Yet enjoying one moment
Of peace.
Peace leaves your little hand,
And a nightmare ensues,
Bringing with it chaos,
Explosions,blood,death,
Screams of pain, of danger,
Bad weather and bad neighbors.
You grasp for what had once
Been peace.
Now pain is numerous, little sands
Of burning passion gone wrong.
No longer asleep, the dream
Is a dream, the nightmare,
A reality of desperate pleas
For help, for comfort, for saving.
Stripped, cold, and naked,
You wish you were alone.
But evil still lingers all over,
And you are still lying there screaming
For peace.
-Crash Metallium
6-19-06
Of Peace
7 posts •
Page 1 of 1
A sad message. Nevertheless, you describe it well. I have one question. When you say
Now pain is numerous, little sands
Of burning passion gone wrong.
Are you referring to grains of sand?
Now pain is numerous, little sands
Of burning passion gone wrong.
Are you referring to grains of sand?
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]
[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
-
Anna Mae - Posts: 1663
- Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 5:43 am
- Location: Brazil
I would suggest saying "grains of sand" instead of "little sands" so that your meaning is more clear and flows better.
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]
[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
-
Anna Mae - Posts: 1663
- Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 5:43 am
- Location: Brazil
I assume that you mean the rhythm, in which case I would say that the second stanza does not quite fit.
[SIZE="4"][color="DarkSlateBlue"]God has called me to mission work in Paraguay and Brazil. I may return to CAA someday. God bless all of you![/color][/SIZE]
[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
[i]Two vast and trunk-less legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away. On the pedestal these words are inscribed:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
-
Anna Mae - Posts: 1663
- Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 5:43 am
- Location: Brazil
7 posts •
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